Total Single Parent
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  1. #1

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    Default Total Single Parent

    Is anyone here a total single parent? I dont get any support from my DD's father. He also does not have visitation. I have help from my family that live next door.

    I was just wondering if there are any other total single parents.

  2. #2
    Master Dollar Stretcher aka TraciBob baronmom's Avatar
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    I was at one time. When my oldest was born, his father had nothing to do with him. I had to fight for support. I ended up finally getting that on a regular basis, but that was all I got from him. I met my dh when ds1 was 1 1/2. I also had a great support system from my family. When I needed someone to watch him, they were happy to help.

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    Registered User Daisygirl's Avatar
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    I am not, but I wish I was. My kids' father is a thorn in my side and a terrible influence. I know that sometimes it must be hard to be alone like that but I truly envy you. I would give anything to be alone raising my girls in a loving nurturning environment.

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    Registered User tigo's Avatar
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    I have been for a number of years. The kids dad only sends support when he "remembers". My soon to be ex is not their dad and he is not very involved either. I do not have much contact with my family so there is no support there either. Financially it has been hard (even when married, my kids had to be cared for out of my check). When they were small there were days I could have given anything for some one to watch them so I could catch a nap. Now they are teens and it is a bit easier as they don't require so much hands on.

  6. #5

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    Quote Originally Posted by Daisygirl View Post
    I am not, but I wish I was. My kids' father is a thorn in my side and a terrible influence. I know that sometimes it must be hard to be alone like that but I truly envy you. I would give anything to be alone raising my girls in a loving nurturning environment.
    Thats why I never went after him. I know where he is, he's in a small town right by me. He's no more than like 15 minutes away. I know she is better off without him. Sad to say.

  7. #6
    Registered User AprilP's Avatar
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    Yes, I am a TSM. My ex quit his job to try to be a "rock star" about a year before I finally decided he was going to be a deadbeat forever and split up with him. He still refuses to give up the "dream" and still has no job. We split up 10 years ago. He continues to live off girlfriend after girlfriend. He does however, tell me at every opportunity how I SHOULD be raising "HIS" kids. Gripes at them and tries to "ground" them every time they get a C on their report cards, has something negative to say about our life and our financial situation constantly. "Why are you still driving that P.O.J. car?" "Why do the kids always wear ratty shoes?".

    Um. DUH, maybe if you helped, we wouldn't be in this mess.

    Sometimes I wish he'd fall off the planet.

    I got pregnant in my sophmore year of high school (by him) and quit school. I am currently working two minimum wage jobs to try and make ends meet. It's hard, but we are doing OK.

    I envy all these SAHM's because they have time to do frugal things like cook meals ahead of time, do dishes instead of using disposables, but I choose to spend the extra money on those things in order to spend what little time I can with my kids.

    Hopefully in the end, karma will kick in, and we'll be fine and the ex-hus. will get pee'd on by an elephant.

  8. #7
    Moderator aka AmyBob AmyBoz's Avatar
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    I am absolutely not, but I wanted to chime in to say that I think that you ladies should pat yourselves on the back. Parenting is the most important job in the world, and it can be hard sometimes, and that is when there are two parents. Single parenting, plus working is something that your children may not appreciate now, but they will thank you for it one day.

  9. #8
    McD
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    I'm not either. I will feel a smidgen of your girls' pain come late May-early June when my husband deploys. I'll still have the financial support but I'll be doing the raising and the rearing on my own. I cannot fathom doing it all alone day after day. I really think you ladies are extremely strong people. I respect you very much.

  10. #9
    Registered User danni's Avatar
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    I was for over 5 yrs and it was hard but it would have been harder if he had been around.

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    Registered User cspp04's Avatar
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    i have been single parenting for about 9 years now. i've had a few failed relationships since but no one ever really "stuck". my kids are now 13- and 11-years old.
    it was because of this situation that i first began researching simple living and frugality. now i do it because it's fun, even though my situation hasn't really changed.
    this site has helped me learn to cope financially. i'd like to thank everyone here for their wonderful suggestions, input and encouragement. yes, pats on the back for everyone, whether single parenting, dual parenting, or non-parenting. what a wonderful group we have here!

  12. #11

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    When I was pregnant with our youngest DD I seen changes in their dad & then after she was born he "decided" he didn't want to be a dad anymore With the help of my parents I found a place & took our babies & moved.
    When my oldest DD was 15 she contacted him & they met and things seemed to go ok then they had a big blowout This man had the nerve to break our daughters heart many times by calling and promising to pick her up {when she was little} for the weekend and then not showing up. The last straw was when she called him on fathers day & his phone was disconnected NEVER did he EVER appaulagise for the way he neglected his DD.
    He also had the nerve to take me to court for custody then never showed up {because he had to work} the judge asked me what I wanted & doubled it but of course he never paid it. Once in awhile I would get 20.00 from him & he thought that was a lot.
    I'm glad of is that I never married the deadbeat.

  13. #12
    Registered User foxxyroxie's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by AprilP View Post
    Hopefully in the end, karma will kick in, and we'll be fine and the ex-hus. will get pee'd on by an elephant.
    That's way toooo funny.

    I guess I can't relate because I'm not a parent. I hope I don't offend anyone when I say that eventhough a child is a gift from God, I also thank God that he spared me the heartache and headache, especially with all the losers I've had.

    Good luck and a 'hang in there' to all of you in this situation. All I can say is that things happen for a reason. We might not like them and they might not be pleasant, but God only gives us challenges he knows we can bear.

  14. #13
    Registered User AprilP's Avatar
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    Update on my ex. This weekend (10th) was DS2's 14th birthday. His dad neither showed up nor called.

    Come to think of it, I haven't heard a single word from him since Christmas. And on Christmas, I called him ALL DAY trying to find out what time he was going to pick up the kids. He finally called back around 6pm and picked them up and took them to a movie. No gifts. Nothing. After I (well, I WAS the one who paid for it) bought him a $100 Houston Texans jacket. (The kids picked it out). Maybe he's ashamed. Doubtful, I don't think he has a conscience at all.

    Waiting on that karma......

  15. #14
    Registered User HandyMom's Avatar
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    I am a totally single parent. We are also better off without the ex and he doesn't support his new family much less his old one.

    The peace and quiet in my life increased by at least 50% when I got divorced.

  16. #15

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    Not completely because I did receive child support, but he saw very little of the children when they were growing up. There was a period of 4 years where they had no contact at all. It was so hard on the kids because they wanted a relationship with him so much. But because of this the children and I are very close, I did have a 4 year relationship with a man when the children were a bit older that didn't work out, but the majority of their growing up it was always just the three of us.

    They are both in college now and their dad recently got together with them for the first time in over a year. They had a great time. I'm hoping maybe this will be the start of something, but this has happened before, he pops in and then no one hears from him for a year or so. He has disappointed them so many times.

    I think being a single parent has been the hardest and most rewarding thing I have done. They have continually beat all the stereotypes people place on children who come from single parent families. My greatest joy came last May when my dd followed in her brothers footsteps and graduated valedictorian of her class.

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