Dinner with the Outlaws
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  1. #1
    Registered User Daisygirl's Avatar
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    Default Dinner with the Outlaws

    The Outlaws -- my ex's parents. I figure if they are no longer inlaws, then they must be outlaws. THey are the nicest peop[le but the situation is VERY uncomfortable. I always wonder how much they know about the court case with their idiot son.

    Anyway: the story.

    Yesterday was Rachel's gymnastics competition. Her dad told me he couldn't make it, so I called the outlaws to tell them about it. They were delighted and asked if they could ride over to the gym with the girls and me. No problem. Then I hear coming out of my mouth: "Why don't you stay for dinner?"


    ????????


    Where did that come from and who is responsible for saying it? So we cleaned and cleaned and cleaned all day. They arrived and we went to the gym and who shows up but my ex. I was happy for Rachel that her dad came but talk about uncomfortable. I sat with my oldest, my outlaws and my ex for this event. Nearly cracked a tooth gritting my teeth the whole time. Then the outlaws insisted on taking us out for dinner. I tried to gracefully back out of it so they could take my ex and they wouldn't hear of it. There was no way to get out of it without being downright rude, which I simply cannot do to them. My ex had no such compunction and refused to go - it was truly horrible though. He managed to hiss a few rude things to me at the event, which no one else was aware of. It was almost like the joy of being married to him again, getting to smile while he whispered mean things to me in public.

    I am making a new law. In the event of a divorce, I strongly suggest the worse parent be executed, then we can all get along easily and comfortably with our outlaws. Write your congressman!

  2. #2
    Registered User wanderlusting's Avatar
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    Sorry about the probs w/ the ex But it is nice to hear that you have good in-laws er....I mean outlaws!

  3. #3
    Registered User FrugalMomof3's Avatar
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    I agree it's good the ex came to support the DD and that you have atleast an ok relationship with the "outlaws".

    Can you PM me and tell me a bit about how you went about getting out of your relationship/marraige and how you coped. Thanks!

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  5. #4

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    Arrrg! Uncomfortable situation to be in for sure, but I would have hissed back at him at the game without hesitation. It's cool though that you do have nice outlaws, and maybe they do know what a total jerk their son is.

    I'm glad you got through it and at least dd got to spend some time with her dad and grandparents. They do seem like very nice people. Is he by chance adopted? LOL, just wondering.

  6. #5

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    Sorry about the way your ex acted. He sounds a lot like mine. My outlaws and I have very little contact, and I like it that way!! It's a shame for the kids sake that everyone can't get along and act like adults, but the feelings just go too deep.

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    you are definetly the grown adult in the situation & you did all this for your girls........good for you, you are a awesome mom!!!!

  8. #7

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    Sorry about your ex going. Glad you get along with you out laws, but if you like them why not call them UN- laws? JM2C

  9. #8
    Registered User inneedofhope's Avatar
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    Ugh! Those uncomfortable situations with the ex. That was awful of him to be rude to you at your daughters event. What a jerk!
    I was close to my ex's parent's, and I think he was jealous or uncomfortable about it at first, but these days we all get along fine. It takes time, hopefully someday your ex will grow up a bit and learn to act like a grown up at least when he's around the kids.
    Give yourself a big pat on the back for being the mature parent!

  10. #9
    Registered User Nada.Leona's Avatar
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    's parents are divorced. Recently his grandfather passed away, and his mom wanted to be there for her kids and for her ex-husband's family, whom she still cared about, but she was reluctent about going, for fear of stepping on some toes. 's aunts quickly dispelled that fear by saying, "You divorced him, you didn't divorce us." They proceeded to invite her to all the family functions, all the wakes and the funeral, where she sat with the whole family. It was excellent.

    Now in MY divorce, my ex's mom wouldn't even speak to me after she heard that we were seperating. When I tried to leave him the first time, she stormed into my house, tried to rip a strip off me (didn't work, I fought back) and demanded that I leave that very night because I "didn't live there anymore" -- and I was the one with my name (not ex's) on the lease!!!

    She emailed my mother to ask where I was living once I'd left him, but my mom is "smarter than the average bear", and she gave ex-MIL my mom's own home address. We never received any mail or had any visits, so we figured ex-MIL put two and two together.

    When ex and I were together, she was the angel of God herself -- I was taking over her responsibility and raising her manchild son. Once I left him, I was the lowest creature imaginable.

    Ahhhh, divorce stories. Every ex has one.

  11. #10
    Registered User Daisygirl's Avatar
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    Thanks for the unwavering support ladies. We had the Christmas concert last night and he behaved himself, although we did not speak at all. (If you can't say something nice.......)

    My outlaws couldn't come, but they dropped by my wok with some little craft supplies with the girls. Unfortunately for them, they ahve his number. When they give the kids money as a gift, they give it to them at my house. Sad, isn't it? I hope I never have to feel disappointed that way about my kids.

  12. #11
    Registered User BlackstoneMama's Avatar
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    Good luck to you! When my in-laws found out we were getting divorced they never spoke to me again. It's been over 2 years now that we've been divorced. Ex-DH and I are now good friends (better than when we were married) and the out laws are silent and judgemental.

    I guess its ok...always felt on stage around them anyway. Its nice to have that pressure gone.

    Again...good luck.

  13. #12

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    when i divorced my 1st husband, i kept in contact with his mom... i tried to keep in contact with his dad, but that side of the family didnt want anything to do with me or our child... sad, isnt it?... who knows what that ex of mine told his dad!.... but my ex mom in law and i are great friends... and i divorced her son over 22 yrs ago... i didnt divorce her... and she has a great relationship with my dd and my ds (from my 2nd husband)... in fact, she has a better relationship with my dh now then with her own son... sad, isnt it?...
    as you can guess, the ex in laws have been divorced for almost 40 years...
    good for you karen for being there for your dd's and your "outlaws"... too bad your ex tried to ruin it for you... eventually, he will stop and see that his behavior no longer has control over the way you feel... and he will, eventually, i hope, come to his senses and start acting like an adult and try to get along for the sake of his daughters...
    good luck...
    and remember we are all here for you

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