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  1. #16

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    how is a single person supposed to pay 840.00?? maybe i read that wrong..300 for one kid i think is not bad..and most well paying jobs look at credit and with back child support on it good luck getting money from him..

    how much is he behind the full 9 years i guess..thats a lot but he cant do anything with out a job..

    he cant buy anything with back child support on him not a house not a car

    ..if its garnished employers frown on it ..yeah he needs to pay it but if you want that money you might need to take a chance and work with him..



    you have a better chance of getting money if he has a job

    i wonder if you can refile the claim if he doesnt follow through

  2. #17
    McD
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    Quote Originally Posted by tammy88 View Post
    how is a single person supposed to pay 840.00??

    The same way a single person is supposed to raise 3 kids on one income I guess...

  3. #18
    Registered User annymoll's Avatar
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    If he is supposed to pay 840 a month he needs to do so, not negotiate with 300 bucks. He needs to work two jobs, pick up cans... whatever it takes to provide for his kids.It is not your responsibility to take him by the hand like a child and get him a contractors license by shorting your kids.What a joke. You are so right to keep the case open.If he doesn't pay, let him share a jail cell with Big Bubba and be someones woman.

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  5. #19

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    Well, I know I'm going to get flamed for this but here it goes anyway. I know this does not apply to all cases but it applies to most.

    I believe the child support laws that take away a fathers ability to make money are stupid. I have know guys that got caught up in the trap the laws have set. They get laid off for several months. They make partial payments but not the full amount. So, they fall behind in all there bills including child support. Once they get a rehired or another job, their ex has already filed papers with the court and the hounding begins. So while they are tring to catch up, the law starts in on them.

    How is a guy going to earn money if he can't drive to work because his license has been suspended? Or can't get a contractors license to make money doing odd jobs. So then he can't make money, so he falls futher behind. Next thing is he gets arrested. Now how can he make money if he is in jail? I really find it hard to have sympathy for the ex-wives when they are doing everything in their power to punish the fathers rather than ensure their children get child support.


    I have know guys that get laid off and find new jobs making less. Is the child support reduced? Of course not, well at least not without going through the courts again and even then it is doubtful. The courts and society have basically set up the fathers to fail. All the courts and laws are punitive towards them when they fall on hard times as everyone does.

    I think child support should be set on a quarterly basis. If the guy loses his job, the child support goes down. After all if they were still together as a family the kids would feel the effects of their dad being unemployed. Why should it be any different just because the parents separated. So go ahead and keep grinding the ax with the ex's, just realize things will never improve for your kids as long as you do.

  6. #20
    Registered User annymoll's Avatar
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    Having the case reviewed quarterly would be a wonderful idea. That way if the father's situation improves, it can be adjusted to reflect that as well.... raises, bonuses, etc.

  7. #21
    Registered User Mom2Many's Avatar
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    I'd just like to say that any parent that falls behind in child support due to job loss can work with the support agency so that you don't get taken to court. As long as the parent is trying to find work and making an attempt to pay something I doubt a judge would do much if he/she was taken to court..

  8. #22

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    Quote Originally Posted by MrsMcDowell View Post
    The same way a single person is supposed to raise 3 kids on one income I guess...
    the reason i said that is he has to pay his bills too..how can he pay his bills plus someone else rent basically??? i cant do that with an income my husband makes and he makes somewhere around 80 thou a year

    yes its hard with kids on your self and he should help but he cant pay his rent and hers..no one really can..

    i can see it being high due to 3 but thats still half his income probably..

    well maybe where they live the economy is priced higher


    my point is this..there are always 2 side to each story..and 2 lindividual lives on either side too...all of them have to survive...working with him might turn out great and it might not but you have a better chance getting paid if he has a J O B....knocking someone down when they are trying to do better and running to tattle and get them in trouble is wrong imo..yeah he might have screwed up in his life and i dont know him at all and i dont know her but sometimes if you give some one a chance they mgiht surprise you..run and get him in trouble well good luck get any money then

    i wish yoiy BOTH luck!

  9. #23

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    Quote Originally Posted by Dad_of_4 View Post
    Well, I know I'm going to get flamed for this but here it goes anyway. I know this does not apply to all cases but it applies to most.

    I believe the child support laws that take away a fathers ability to make money are stupid. I have know guys that got caught up in the trap the laws have set. They get laid off for several months. They make partial payments but not the full amount. So, they fall behind in all there bills including child support. Once they get a rehired or another job, their ex has already filed papers with the court and the hounding begins. So while they are tring to catch up, the law starts in on them.

    How is a guy going to earn money if he can't drive to work because his license has been suspended? Or can't get a contractors license to make money doing odd jobs. So then he can't make money, so he falls futher behind. Next thing is he gets arrested. Now how can he make money if he is in jail? I really find it hard to have sympathy for the ex-wives when they are doing everything in their power to punish the fathers rather than ensure their children get child support.


    I have know guys that get laid off and find new jobs making less. Is the child support reduced? Of course not, well at least not without going through the courts again and even then it is doubtful. The courts and society have basically set up the fathers to fail. All the courts and laws are punitive towards them when they fall on hard times as everyone does.

    I think child support should be set on a quarterly basis. If the guy loses his job, the child support goes down. After all if they were still together as a family the kids would feel the effects of their dad being unemployed. Why should it be any different just because the parents separated. So go ahead and keep grinding the ax with the ex's, just realize things will never improve for your kids as long as you do.

    THANK YOU..more of what i meant to say

  10. #24

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    Quote Originally Posted by annymoll View Post
    If he is supposed to pay 840 a month he needs to do so, not negotiate with 300 bucks. He needs to work two jobs, pick up cans... whatever it takes to provide for his kids.It is not your responsibility to take him by the hand like a child and get him a contractors license by shorting your kids.What a joke. You are so right to keep the case open.If he doesn't pay, let him share a jail cell with Big Bubba and be someones woman.
    you should never wish something awful on someone else and if he is making some kind of payment ITS BETTER THEN NOTHING..he's trying and you gotta give it a person for trying..

    Karma is a B%^&

    Jail, prision is AWFUL for anyone..the counties need to use OUR money better than supporting people who are having a rough time financially..9 out of 10 people will pay their obligations if they have the money...HAVE YOU EVER HAD PROBLEMS PAYING BILLS AND GETTING A JOB??

    my husband back child support is 48.50 a week (current was 48.50 as well) we have month when we cant pay that, should my husband loose his job and go sit in jail because he was late on a bill? if thats the case were you late on a bill?...

    child support is a no way out of obligation they will get you one way or another ...and usually the ex-wifes are bitter (not saying she is) and they wil do what they can to make the other persons life miserable..we women are mean sometimes lol you know thats true..lol

    i think maybe instead of just money obligations there should be a parenting obligation where the courts demand time as a family even if they arent married anymore..they are still a unit, broken maybe but a unit..(unless abuse was involved then i dont agree with that) it might help children mature more knowing that ok mom and dad couldnt stay married but we were still a family and we still did family stuff so i didnt feel like i was missing something ( might not have worded this correctly but i think you get what im saying)

  11. #25
    Registered User Mom2Many's Avatar
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    No one gets sent to jail when they're a month behind. They get sent to jail when they stop paying for months at a time. My ex was behind 10K...didn't work for 7 months out of the year and all he got from the judge was a stern warning.

    Not all exes are bitter...getting jerked around with excuse after excuse makes one less likely to cut someone a break.

    my husband back child support is 48.50 a week (current was 48.50 as well) we have month when we cant pay that, should my husband loose his job and go sit in jail because he was late on a bill?
    How could he not afford to pay that making 80K??? That's just insane.

  12. #26
    Registered User annymoll's Avatar
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    Child support is set based on the income you make. If that changes it is up to the person who owes the obligation to have the obligation adjusted.Until then, you have a financial responsibility to your children, it may be harsh, but I believe your primary responsibility is to the first family you created. These children have to eat, have a roof over their heads, and clothes to wear.If you do not provide those things you are negligent.If you cannot support two families, don't put yourself in that position.Jail , loss of license, credit reporting... makes sense to me be it mother or father.

  13. #27
    Registered User struglew3kids's Avatar
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    Ok I understand how being married to a person that has kids and owes child support may change your opinion.
    My ex- owes me about $60k. In all those years, he did not think of the kids. I had harsh times. I have posted some of those in some other threads. In the years that he was not paying, he left the state, moved in with a woman and had a kid. I have issues with absent parents that go and have more kids when they can't support the one's they have. So she got all his income and so did their son. My kids where forgotten. That is until now that he wants to actually have his own business. Now he has a couple of months that he has paid a small amount. Yet he comes on vacation to see his kids, has new clothes, and tells me of all the places he has visited...what the ??? Did he forget who he has been talking to?
    If you marry a man with kids, you really have to think about how that is going to affect you. This is not about vengance this is about the NEEDS of the children. Why should the single parent be the only one to live on bread and beans?
    I can't say that I agree with the driver's license suspension. But I do agree with the state license. The reason is, that they are working. If they have back child support bal. but are paying current payments they won't take it away, but if they have a active lic. and they are working and they don't pay, there is no excuse. I told him I was glad that he found something that he loves, but that he had to understand my lack of trust and that I am the only one who is making sure the kids get what he owes them. I also reminded him of what I told him long ago. That if he did not pay, one day he would want to buy a home or who knows and this would come to bite him......and it sure has. He put himself in this situation and I refuse to feel sorry for him when we went w/out food, electricity, clothes and so on, on many occasions. He can still work, but maybe he won't have exactly what he wants. But then again how many of us do?

  14. #28
    Registered User struglew3kids's Avatar
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    Oh one more thing. There has been a order to garnish his wages but he has been working under the table. So no way to prove he is working nor the amount. The $840 includes 1/2 of child care. I have been paying the whole thing w/out help. Think about that. This is not about getting back at someone. This is about just making ends w/kids. As a single person you can rent a room, or even if things get bad sleep in a car...but with kids, it makes things so much more difficult and so much more expensive. I have been blessed and some how or another, we make it. Some times people will have a extra sandwich or left overs. Some times my clients at work, bring me fruit as they work in the fields....and I make it thru the week. No one should have to worry about where the next meal will come from. I had to take on two jobs at times to make it. Why should we feel bad because a absent parent might have to do that. I totally agree with making them spend time w/their kids. It does take more then money to raise kids. My ex as I stated moved out of state. It makes it easier for him not to provide, when he does not see the need.

  15. #29
    Registered User Frugal Nurse's Avatar
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    We've got a little testosterone to stir the pot here... now don't we.


    I can see by the responses that you've got it under control.

    I think you know what need to do.


    Just a comment for the Dad of 4 in the mix.

    I just don't know why the law is set up that way! it's utterly stupid!
    It's suppose to be a deterrent... I guess.. but it's not working! and it surely doesn't make any sense to put someone in jail when there is restitution.

    Sheesh..

    I think it should be individual. For instance.. a man takes off with loads of cash... lives the good life and leaves his kids to the welfare system. Yep! JAIL'em.
    But have mercy on the poor working guy who runs into hard times!

  16. #30
    Registered User struglew3kids's Avatar
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    You know if I had my way, I would send these dad's to take some child education credits and some budgeting classes. It will help them be better fathers. I am talking about the one's who don't pay at all. Trust me if my ex was at least trying and could not afford more, then no problem, but when he is out buying shirts that cost him $200.00 and can't pay for my kids $8 shirts........there is a issue. I have a good friend of mine. He has two kids, pays c/support for both and on top of that has them during the week and most weekends. If he wanted to play ball she would get less c/suppt. because he has them so much. But to him, it's money for his kids. What did he have to do? Move in and rent a room from his parents. It's not the best, but it's the best for right now.

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