Being a stay at home wife?? - Page 2
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  1. #16
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    I agree with Lisaflex. I also have this to say...

    I've been a SAHM and SAHW since 1994. I've had some issues with people wanting to know 'what was wrong with me' because I stayed home. But mostly I ignored them. It's none of their business. My extended family were the worst. We have a wonderful set of double standards going around about how we're all supposed to be supermoms/wives doing it all. I've had to educate a few people. Still, the benefits far outweigh the negative.

    DH and I decided early on we'd rather I stayed home and took care of the home front than work and neglect home. Part of the problem were the sorts of jobs I liked and took. They were deadline jobs that often required a lot of overtime one or two days a week, meaning meals didn't get cooked, DH was in charge of house and kids. DH couldn't handle it, I was exhausted and sick all the time. So we just went back to the traditional way of doing things, and it worked much better for us.

    I think this is a very personal decision you are making and what works for one person might not for another. I would just rule out what other people think in the equation, and just do what's best for you and DH.

    Volunteering is a godsend for a SAHW. It gets us out, gives us something productive to do, and it looks good on a resume if we ever want to go back to work. There are lots of organizations looking for volunteers these days. With most women working volunteering has fallen by the wayside.

    I say get out while the getting is good. I've had a boss that won't listen before, and yours sounds like one of those. Leave on your own terms, before you get fired. That looks a lot better to people looking to hire again, and it's better for your self-esteem I think.

  2. #17
    Registered User Buckeye5's Avatar
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    I have been giving this idea a lot of thought lately. I worked in a school with Handicapped 3,4,5 year olds, they are severly handicapped. I do have good health insurance the hours are great, summer off, but the actual pay I bring home is $350.00 every two weeks, i drive 28 miles round trip, which isn't bad except during the winter months, but I am so tired!! When I get home from work I want to go to bed, I think from the mental and physical stress during the day. I have 3 kids, one graduated in Dec. from college, but still needs a bit of financial help until she can get a permanent job teaching, in the meantime, she has been subbing, the 2nd one will graduate in May, she is still needing help but works full time making about $8.50 and hour, the third one just started community college this past fall, with no major yet, he isn't sure what he wants to do, I am scared to quit because of $$ Dh makes a decent wage, but we have some good debt, still a mortgage and student loans, I am sure that we can make it on his income but we will be taking longer to get oe CC's paid off. etc. My meek pay puts us in another tax brack it, so I am not sure what I should do. I just know that I am burnt out.

  3. #18
    Registered User lisaflex's Avatar
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    buckeye - you are in a tough spot....but, i will refer back to what i responded to the original responder...life is short....live it. if you are tired and burnt out...maybe it is time for a break. maybe give your notice for the end of the school year. and in the meantime, start looking and applying for jobs. i am not of the school of thought that one must work. now, i do understand financial issues, but, if that is not a huge issue for you, do what is best for your sanity and well being. which will be reflected in your families home and lives. best wishes.

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  5. #19
    Registered User hippytreehugger4ever's Avatar
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    I've been a SAHW for 6 years now and don't regret any of it. Much less stressful on both of us, everything that needs to be done around the house gets done without arguments, and we actually save more because I'm here to cook meals from scratch instead of eating out and having to drive to a job.

  6. #20
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    Default just do it !!!!!!!!!

    dear bounty..
    just do it!!!!!!!!! bee happy.
    if your hubbie is ok with it, just quit the job, and do what is best for your husband and you.
    I just quit my job after 20+ yrs,I have a masters degree in chemisrty,
    yes some may say its wasted,I say I WILL always have my education.
    I left my job a few weeks ago, I love it, my house is perfect, meals are always made, I have time to go to the gym each day,I do a few hrs at the local hospitable and library, I am not stressed out, my husband has noticed a difference.
    We also do not have kids....some people have siad "oh ..must be nice , a kept women"..I say yes thankyou its very nice!!!
    I stayed hard for 20 yrs,paid off our home, no credit card bills, I felt it was ok for me to leave the job I hated!!!!!!!!!!!!
    dont feel guiltly, some people in the work place can be some nasty and just horrible,most likely jealous.
    go for it, bee happy,you only get once chance on this earth,dont waste another moment doing something you dread each day, its not worth it..TRUST ME ON THAT ONE !!!
    take care, and be happy. xxxxxxxxx

  7. #21
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    As long as you can pay the bills and you want to why not.
    We have determined that it would COST us money for me to work
    -when you stay at home you get first shot at sales and clearance
    you have time to coupon
    you save on gas,wear and tear on the car and work clothes and lunches
    you can cook and mend and repair things
    you can excercise
    you can keep the taxable income lower
    I find tons of deals at resale shop
    all because I don't work.
    Something to mull over

  8. #22
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    There are lots of opportunities to save money if you stay at home. I took a look at the lives of my friends where both couples worked, and where one stayed home. I noticed the ones where one stayed home seemed to be healthier families and better off financially. Not all of them, but a majority of them seemed to be.

    That's when I sat down and figured out what it cost for me to go to work. What I found was not pleasing. I was working for $1.50 an hour. It just wasn't worth it. Plus I was facing a special needs day care charge due to health issues with my daughter. They were going to charge double the normal cost, which meant I would actually be going in the hole each month if I stayed working! I chose not to work, thank-you.

  9. #23
    Registered User Rebookie's Avatar
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    Do it! Don't feel guilty about it!

  10. #24
    Registered User nvmommyx6's Avatar
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    ont feel guilty, if you can afford to live with the 1 income, do it and make you happy. Too much bad crap comes from a persons unhappines

  11. #25
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    I would say that unless you enjoy being in the workforce, being a SAHW is not a bad idea. If it's just a matter of really not liking this particular job, change it up! Life is too short to hate the job you go to every day.

    My advice is explain some of your issues you have to your boss. If they don't like it...Two weeks notice it is. If you and your husband can afford for you to stay home and it's something you both agree on, go for it.

    I enjoy my job personally, but I don't know if I could do it forever. I'd like more time dedicated to my household and serving the church and that may mean for me either going really part-time (15-20 hours a week) or leaving the workforce all together. Right now, my husband and I could not afford for me to work so little or not at all, so you are blessed you have that option now!

    "Contributing" doesn't necessarily mean bringing in an income, as the status quo might have you believe. The upkeep of a household is a contribution in itself and volunteering is a contribution to society. What guilt is to be had for that?

    Good luck

  12. #26
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    I did it!!!! I gave my 2 weeks notice and I am quite excited...and relieved....the stress headaches that I have been having everyday are gone and theres more peace at home because I'm not taking all my work stress home.

    Thank you all for your encouraging words and helping me make up my mind on what I thought was a difficult decision.I already feel a weight off my shoulders.

  13. #27
    Registered User Libby's Avatar
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    Bounty - Wishing you many happy days ahead!!

  14. #28
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    Quote Originally Posted by craftypam View Post
    You know what I have to say about other people's opinions of what you and your dh choose to do? NONE OF THEIR BUSINESS!! You get to choose how you live your life. I think if you are that miserable and you can afford to stay home. You should. Then if you want to get a job do that.
    The only 2 people you should care about their opinions in this situation is your dh's and yours.
    Let us know what you decide and good luck with your choice.
    This is exactly what I wanted to say.

    I would LOVE LOVE to be a stay at home wife even though my kids have left the nest. I am moving to be with new husband/fiance', he has three children, but mine have grown and gone. I want to garden! I want to clean house, run errands, have dinner on the table for him when he gets home! All those wifey things that I left years ago when I became a single parent and had to have a full time job plus raising my daughters.

    Everything for a reason but hoo boy would I love to be a stay at home wife for my new honey! (he would probably let me if I crunched the numbers to show it could be done)

  15. #29
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    well i am late to the party but congrats on your decision it is your and hubs life no ones decison but he the 2 of u.. if it is succking the life out of u well forget it...

    well buckleye no advice but hugs and prayers did I read correct not married or not enough income? man u are underpaid honey.prayers for your situation..... God Bless U both

  16. #30
    Registered User wanderlusting's Avatar
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    As long as you and your DH like you being a SAHW, I see nothing "wrong" with it. I've done a few stints as a SAHW(before kids) and DH liked it.

    I got all the errands and housework done during the day- so when DH got home from work we could just relax together and enjoy and nice home cooked meal.

    I had to go back to work though to pay for our fertility treatments.

    I did volunteer a little with my husband's squadron so I had something outside the house.

    ETA: I just saw you put in your 2 weeks notice. Enjoy being a SAHW!

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