Stay At Home Dad and My Challenges
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  1. #1
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    Default Stay At Home Dad and My Challenges

    I have always had respect for SAHMs. My wife and I chose to have two incomes and worked two shifts at the same company that allowed her to drop off our girls in the morning, and me to pick them up after with an hour of childcare paid for. Then the company switched our schedules so that we were needing childcare before and after and were spending $1600 a month in childcare alone. Then to make matter worse, we found out that our employer didn't like the idea of husbands and wives being on the same team, so the odds of either of us getting hired was low. So we made the decision that I would become a stay at home dad and would handle all of the at home issues.

    I started off by putting together a menu. I saved us quite a bit of money over eating out and packing my wife's and daughters' lunches everyday. I get up every morning and make breakfast for everyone. I have a regiment of house cleaning, bed making, and pet care.

    Every other Sunday I go to DeNios Farmer's Market in Roseville. I go there on Sunday afternoons because as they get within hours of closing, the booths drop their prices dramatically. Tomatoes go from $1 a pound to 4lbs for a dollar. 20lbs of onions, potatoes, and zucchini all go down to just a couple of dollars, and mushrooms, my personal favorite, are about a dollar a pound. On my way back I stop by a local farmer and grab a flat of eggs. If I'm willing to grab a 7 day old flat, it's $5 vs $12.50 for same day. I have no issues with this since most eggs in grocery stores are weeks old before they even hit a shelf. I hit a couple of different grocery stores, walking around the outside and going for the clearance items first. I buy cheap, I buy bulk, and if i forget anything, we will go without it until the next time I go shopping.

    When I get home, I weigh and inventory everything. I then create a two week menu based on everything I have. Luckily for my family, I am a trained chef, so I cook American, Mexican, Italian, Chinese, Japanese, Indian, and much more; so the diversity in our meals is consistent. Last week included vegetable lasagna, Tilapia Sous Vide, Stuffed bell peppers, and General Tso's Chicken. My goal is to empty as much from our pantries as possible with the exception of staples purchased in bulk like rice, pasta, grains, and spices.

    Now, on top of all of this, I have an invention that we realize is huge and so I am putting in time in it as well. I now spend 8+ hours a day working on the invention on top of my regular duties. I've never worked so hard in my life.

    Anyone else feel this load? How do you handle it? Feel free to provide tips, tricks, or just vent with me.

  2. #2
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    Your describing an everyday SAHM. Except I had a hubby that traveled all the kids lives. I'm not a chef but I did bulk/freeze cooking. Cooked dutch oven size batched w/ menu planning. Are you in Roseville,mi??
    We have a lot of good discount places but I really wish we had scratch and dent.
    Gordons foods-bulk lunchmeats much cheaper and they will cut. I just invested in a $5. electric knife from Salvation Army. Toaster ovens-so much less energy than the stove. Crockpots,bread makers.
    Other tips-sales at the grocery are both cyclical and seasonal. Ask the meat dept to markdown meats that have an impending date.

    If you have an older car-I have discovered the full service auto repair at our local junk yard. It was at least 50% cheaper and I didnt pull a part. They do it.

    Shop at church and estate sales. Go again at the final hour. They need that space back and stuff is almost given away. Esp. furniture. Make use of the local home town free papaer for info. AND sign up for Estatesales.com and just check your area and they will send emails.

    some dry cleaners do repairs on clothes as a courtesy when you have them dry cleaned. Buy a sewing machine. My army Ds just picked one up to make gilly suits.

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    Your describing an everyday SAHM. Except I had a hubby that traveled all the kids lives. I'm not a chef but I did bulk/freeze cooking. Cooked dutch oven size batched w/ menu planning.
    We have a lot of good discount places but I really wish we had scratch and dent.
    Gordons foods-bulk lunchmeats much cheaper and they will cut. I just invested in a $5. electric knife from Salvation Army. Toaster ovens-so much less energy than the stove. Crockpots,bread makers.
    Other tips-sales at the grocery are both cyclical and seasonal. Ask the meat dept to markdown meats that have an impending date.

    If you have an older car-I have discovered the full service auto repair at our local junk yard. It was at least 50% cheaper and I didnt pull a part. They do it.

    Shop at church and estate sales. Go again at the final hour. They need that space back and stuff is almost given away. Esp. furniture. Make use of the local home town free papaer for info. AND sign up for Estatesales.com and just check your area and they will send emails.

    some dry cleaners do repairs on clothes as a courtesy when you have them dry cleaned. Buy a sewing machine. My army Ds just picked one up to make gilly suits. Buy a machine from a store not used as people abuse them and repairs can be expensive. Read your reveiws. SOme of the lighter weight cheap ones are know for thread tangles. Target had some good online only deals.

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  5. #4
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    yep it is a busy life but since you are spending a lot of time with your invention then it is like working fulltime and being the sahp too

  6. #5
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    It sounds like you're doing a fantastic job. My grand-niece is a pediatric nurse practitioner and her husband is a social worker. She has had type 1 diabetes since age 2 and her doctors all thought she would never get pregnant. Well, she did and now they have two adorable kids, ages 3 and 6 months.

    My niece made nearly four times what her husband made so they decided he could stay at home. He does a great job, but he does have help from his mom who lives close by. He started a graphic design home business and devotes a lot of time to it but he found the right balance between his home business and his kids. It helps he loves to cook.

    He is teaching his toddler some simple graphic design activities so they both "work" when the baby is sleeping. My niece loves coming home to a fresh, home-cooked meal each night.

    Best wishes.
    Kim
    The Lord will provide

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