Have you ever accepted Charity?

**hollyhill** · 11-27-2004, 03:07 AM

How low do you go before you do accept charity?
My Dh is at school full time (after loosing his job last Feb) and we are living on student loans. We have $16,950 to last 10 months. We will get more next fall. It has to cover tuition $4,300 and texts etc, plus mortgage, bills etc. We often have very little left for food. I am a homeschool mom with 3 children. But on a positive note we own our home with ($550 mortgage), old cars (no loans), and have no credit bills.
I am tempted to go to a christmas charity to help with gifts for my children and for food for christmas dinner because we have no extra funds.
But part of me says if I am so desparate I should sell the house....
So here is the question do you use charity to save the house or not????
Any advise would be appreciated.

**MelinaG** · 11-27-2004, 08:31 AM

I almost did twice but never actually went through with it. Why? I don't know. I felt that I should be able to feed myself and family without assistance. But twice about 2 years ago we drove to a food bank but never went in. Maube we should have. I don't know. But we made it without.

Melina

**nodmicks** · 11-27-2004, 09:25 AM

I guess I would if there wasn't another way to get my kids enought to eat.
Any chanxce of a pt job for you or Dh?

**PrairieRose** · 11-27-2004, 10:13 AM

When I had back surgery about 11 years ago I got a staph infection and was bed ridden for about 3 months. People brought meals to our house for weeks and weeks. Does that count? I think it does. Otherwise I haven't, but I'm not above asking for help to feed my children. Do you have family that you could talk to about it? If not, and if your children are hungry I'd ask for help. Personally, I'd much rather help someone who is working very hard to help themselves.

**homesteadmamma** · 11-27-2004, 10:35 AM

I haven't but if I had to feed my kids and had no extra cash, I would ask knowing that someday I could return the favor by helping someone else out when I'm in a better situation.

I would not sell my house. Your mortgage payment is probably no higher than rent would be. In fact, where I live rent would be a couple hundred dollars higher.

You might also mention to family members and friends that your struggling right now. Could some of them help out?

**forestdale** · 11-27-2004, 03:47 PM

Hollyhill, I've never been in the position where I needed to accept charity but if I were, I'd take it and be grateful for it. Ask yourself if accepting help with christmas gifts and food will make things better for yourself and your kids. If the answer is yes, then go for it.

Don't sell your home. That would only mean more upheaval for the family. It's your biggest financial asset, keep it and take care of it.

As CJ says, some time in the future you may be in a position to repay this gift to you. In any case, open yourself to accepting help and work towards being as generous with others when you can afford to be.

Good luck.

**DaisyLady** · 11-27-2004, 04:28 PM

Accept help if you need it, offer help to others when you can.

I agree with the others. Do not sell your house. At least it is a roof over your heads.

**AmyBoz** · 11-27-2004, 05:15 PM

Originally posted by forestdale

Don't sell your home. That would only mean more upheaval for the family. It's your biggest financial asset, keep it and take care of it.

I totally agree here.

That being said, my children are dressed, on a daily basis, in other people's hand-me-downs, as am I. I believe that if I had exhausted all other options, I would accept charity in order to feed my children. When I am doing well, I try to help others who need it as often as possible, amd knowing what it means to them shows me that there is no shame in accepting help, especially when children are involved.

**slowtypinwoman** · 11-27-2004, 05:24 PM

Pay it forward.

If you need help now accept it. When you have extra to give offer it freely.

**kimmee** · 11-27-2004, 06:02 PM

Originally posted by slowtypinwoman
Pay it forward.

If you need help now accept it. When you have extra to give offer it freely.

I agree wholeheartedly - selling your home shouldn't even cross your mind - this is a temporary stumble - it is not a life upheaval like selling your home would be - paying rent will never be as inexpensive for what you have - by buying your home you are in essence paying yourself - and planning for your future - do what you need to do now but keep that financial carrot in sight - the day you are free from debt and able to 100% doit on your own - and possible help out another!! Good luck to you - and I hope you and your hubby do consider a part time position as Student loans aren't really intended to be enough to live on and when they do become due they are not the killer deal that they initially proposed to you - so much changes by the time they mature and become due - I know from experience - they will be sold - they will change hands several times - a very modest borrow (the minimum you could get by with would be the best advice...

**halo475** · 11-27-2004, 11:29 PM

Yes I have...a couple of times. No shame in it, that is what the organizations are there for...to give people a hand up.

I would def. do it to save my house

**hollyhill** · 11-28-2004, 12:35 AM

Thank-you for all your wonderful thoughts and advise.
I just needed to ask that question to get everyones perspective on it. It was actually a friend of mine who urged me to go and get help. She is an active volunteer with the organization. However, when I mentioned it to another friend she said absolutely NOT. She said I should have exhausted all other resources (inc. sell my house) before I ever considered charity.
In the past I was an active donor in these types of charities so I am indeed embarased considering the possibility of accepting their help.
I have been managing barely but managing but Christmas throws a financial curveball. Not that our Christmases are extravagent, even when my Dh is employed we only spend about 75$ per child.
My older children are very understanding but it is my youngest who looked at me with big trusting eyes and said"don't worry mommy santa will bring presents for everyone!" That broke my heart. I have been given some used items (books, clothing) that I have set aside for Christmas to give as gifts. So we may make it, we'll see.
As far as extra work goes the program my husband is in is so heavy that he couldn't possibly do part time work until summer. Because I homeschool I can't work but I am hoping to get some exchange students. That would help alot!!!!
We are also hoping for scholarships and some bursaries but all these will happen after Christmas.

**forestdale** · 11-28-2004, 01:22 AM

You will make it, Holly. Just remember the twins that go with charity - faith and hope. I hope you and your family have a very happy christmas.

**Tammy** · 11-29-2004, 10:06 PM

I would just like to say that I think you should go ahead and visit your charity. I work for a charity and we are there to help people. Your situation is not permanent and you are not trying to take advantage. I have helped many people who owned their homes. Hey, ya gotta live somewhere! Anyhow, I wouldn't recommend using charity all the time but I do think the holidays are a good time to take advantage. Many will do gifts for the children.
Tammy

**hollyhill** · 11-30-2004, 01:03 AM

Well, I went down and signed up. They were so kind. I needn't have worried they help students regularily, in fact I could have signed up at my Dh school (I didn't know that). They will provide Christmas dinner and toys for the children. I am soooooo thank-ful that I will have something for them on Christmas morning.
I also have a friend who does alot of Garage sale and thrift store shopping (I would love to but don't have the time) and she is going to be on the look out for novels my Dd likes to read and also some newish board games. I sure appreciate her help.
With these special helps we will be able to have an enjoyable Christmas.
Now my 1983 Honda needs a new carburator and is out of commision Grrrrrrr. But we will be getting an exchange student soon so I hope I will be able to get the car fixed soon.

Thank-you for all your support and encouragement..... I don't know if I would have taken the step to go and ask for help if it wasn't for reading your caring words. thank-you