SAHM guilt?
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Thread: SAHM guilt?

  1. #1

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    Default SAHM guilt?

    Has anyone else every struggled with this? And if you did, how did you get over it?

    I'm sure part of it is pregnancy hormones right now but I feel guilty that I'm not going to be bringing in any income. In the end, I know I won't regret being home with my kids. The first year or two is just going to be tight since we're still paying of CCs...and I know my income would make that tightness go away. DH is very supportive and I'll do everything I can to get the most out of his hard earned income. I guess I've just got cold feet now that it's almost here...

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    You can be a SAHM on any income, I firmly believe this. The hard part is changing your mindset to accepting a different standard of work. For months after I quit working, I felt so bad when money was tight and I couldn't pick up extra shifts or if the baby was sick and I just ended up holding him all day (and let every other piece of work slide).

    So I picked up hobbies that would help us out and learned new skills---how to cut my hubbies' hair, better cleaning skills so things would last longer, canning, gardening. I also learned how to balance a checkbook more concisely and keep records for tax purposes.

    And we live on, well let's just say if we wanted to, we could qualify for every low-income gov't program available. And we have far, far more debt than you. You can do this. Your attitude of making the most of your husband's money is exactly right on.

    I worked for 10 mo. after my first son was born and breathed a sigh of relief when dh finally got a job and I could quit. I love being home---you will too.

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    Registered User Nath.'s Avatar
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    Please don't feel guilty.

    I have 2 kids and I had to go back to work as soon as they hit 6 and 8 months old. Now they are 11 and 7 yrs old, and when I look back....I feel like I missed something very important....I didn't see them "grow"...I wasn't there when they first walk or said their first word....I know it sound sentimental, but this time is gone forever and I will never be able to "pick it up". Sure I pass LOT'S of quality time with my kids when I'm not working...but still it is NOT the same. Not staying at home with my kids was and still is my biggest regret as a mom.

    So if you can afford just a little bit to stay with the kids....do so

    Good luck,

    Nath

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    Registered User FrugalMomof3's Avatar
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    Well I had an ok job when I was pregnant with my daughter, once she was born I quit my job to stay home and be a full-time parent. I can honestly say although times were VERY hard, we made it.

    When my daughter was in kindergarden I went back to work for a company that wasnt that far from home making really good money, up until 2003 when the company was sold and I lost my job, well I've been the SAHM ever since.

    I feel guilty that we stuggle but I have vowed to cut costs at all costs! I love being home when my children get home from school, having the day to clean house and make dinner, organize, wash clothes ... etc without worrying about having to get it done before hubby gets home from work.

    I love being a SAHM and I no longer feel guilty, while things may be tight at times, we manage and hubby supports me being a SAHM and never has told me I need to find a job, we're comfortable.

    While your children are only young once, reep the benefits of watching them grow, dont feel guilty because you want to be there every step of the way... we're mothers, we should be there.

    ~Tracy~

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    I can't answer this question as a full-time SAHM- I work 15 hours a week- but even so, I can tell you that I sometimes feel guilty that DH is working so much and I'm not.

    Then I remember that DD IS a LOT of work. And there is no other way we would have it.

    It is so wonderful being able to stay home with your child. I promise you won't regret it.

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    Master Dollar Stretcher aka AmyBob AmyMCGS's Avatar
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    Originally posted by Kimberlina
    I can't answer this question as a full-time SAHM- I work 15 hours a week- but even so, I can tell you that I sometimes feel guilty that DH is working so much and I'm not.
    .
      Kimberlina took the words right out of my mouth-- I work 15 hours a week, too.  Sometimes I feel like I should work more, but other times I feel like I should work less-- it really varies with what's going on.  In the end, though, I love that DD doesn't have to go to daycare & that she's with us every day.

     

     

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    The way I see it, money can always be made or saved. You only have one shot with your children. They will never be 3 years 3 months 2 days old again, kwim? When I think of working annually for 3000.00 (that's what I'd bring home after paying for childcare, clothes, tax bracket, etc...) I think no way, my children are worth lots more than that.
    Staying home, you may not be bringing much in, but saving money is a HUGE deal and you may end up with more money just by saving then my making.

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