SAHD
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Thread: SAHD

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    Registered User kittykatstrong's Avatar
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    Default SAHD

    Does anyone work and have the dad stay at home? I ask because I work and my DH stays at home. I fell like sometimes it works for us and other times I want to cry because I want to stay home and it is just not fair.

    I feel like if I were home the house would cleaner, we would eat at home more, save more money. But in real life I know that might not be true.

    Katy

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    We are a dual income household with one kid, but one of my co-workers has the same arrangement at you. She feels the same way. She likes working, but is also jealous of the fact that her husband can just take their daughter (she's 21 months) to the zoo if he feels like it.

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    Registered User sunshine's Avatar
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    My dh stays home, only because he has ALS. I get to work, and do the housework. . . etc.

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    I have a friend who does this, she had better medical benfits and they had triplets so she went back to work so they could keep the better medical benfits and the dad stayed home.

    It works for them, she is a teacher and when she gets home she still does most of the cooking and cleaning but he was home with the kids all day.

    Eileen

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    My DH stays home due to him being disabled. But I do get jealous because he goes to the library, out to lunch, works out. He does look for work, but no one will hire him due to his speech impairment. I wish the tables were turned. But that's just not the way it's going to be and I have to face what cards I've been dealt with.

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    Registered User JustJoy's Avatar
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    My DH was a SAH for a couple of years with his daughter. His ex is a Dr. and was the one bringing home more money. DH only lasted a little over 2 years though....he said he just couldn't handle the isolation, repetition, etc.

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    Registered User BlackstoneMama's Avatar
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    My DH is now my ex-DH largely in part to his time as a stay at home dad when are kids were younger. It caused him to have deep depression. It was very tough for him to be some where and respond that he was a stay at home dad, when asked what he did for a living. People just didn't seem to respect that.

    When he wouldn't go for help, wouldn't go back to work, isolated me, and turned to drugs, the story got worse. Our marriage didn't have a happy ending.

    He now realizes its even harder out there on his own. Sometimes I want to put our family back together and at other times, its too much worry about history repeating itself. Its sad, really.

    SAHD was a failed experiment for us. Too many issues on both sides to even talk about. The interesting thing was that I thought I was a modern woman and thought I could handle it but my level of resentment rose quickly.

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    Registered User bumplett's Avatar
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    I would assume that most husbands also have a twinge of jealousy towards their wives that stay at home ~ open lines of communication are the only way any marriage can last - regardless of who stays at home

    We have one dad that will join us in our local outings - we have a very small SAHM club - he's always welcome -

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    Registered User pkellyc's Avatar
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    A friend of mine has a sahd for a husband and she just loves it. She is not much of a homebody though and not all that picky about housework as long as it's reasonably clean.

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    My husband was a SAHD when the twins were little. I actually felt sorry for him because if he wanted to do anything with the kids, it was just him. There wasn't any "DADS Clubs" like there are "MOMS Clubs". I was glad that he got to be with the kids and could do fun things with them...but I know he felt isolated. We both work now.

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    My DH is a recent SAHH (no kids yet) because he's on medical disability and it is hard. I already know that if we were to have kids, I would be majorly jealous and depressed if I were not the one to be at home with them. Maybe it's a character flaw. I'm hoping by the time kids happen he'll be back at work.

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    Registered User annymoll's Avatar
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    That arrangement would not work for us. I would not respect my husband if he did not provide financially for the family.DH would not respect himself if he did not provide financially for his family.Whatever arrangement other couples have does not really concern me.

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    Registered User sunshine's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by annymoll View Post
    That arrangement would not work for us. I would not respect my husband if he did not provide financially for the family.DH would not respect himself if he did not provide financially for his family.Whatever arrangement other couples have does not really concern me.


    And what works for others is their business for us as well. My husband would love to be able to work again, but his disease process prevents it. I'm thankful that my children at least have the memories of him at home with them and being a part of their lives. I'm also thankful that I have a career that allows me to make a decent amount of money.

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    Registered User annymoll's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by sunshine View Post
    And what works for others is their business for us as well. My husband would love to be able to work again, but his disease process prevents it. I'm thankful that my children at least have the memories of him at home with them and being a part of their lives. I'm also thankful that I have a career that allows me to make a decent amount of money.
    I think your children are very lucky to have you both.I am happy for you.

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