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06-13-2007, 02:34 AM #1
How do you decide to quit your job?
We have just recently adopted a beautiful baby and both of us work. I work part-time but must be on call always, for which I feel I am paid well. My DH works FT with mucho OT. He brings home the benefits. I know something needs to change, quickly.
I am so scared to give up my income, although we have very little debt. I like working, (not necessarily this job though!) but the on-call status at this job with the new baby is scary.
The last 2 days at work have been the worst, ending with my tears. My boss is hasseling me because one of my employees have been covering the on-call for the last 3 weeks, which is how old the baby is. My job doesn't qualify for the family medical leave act either.
How did you decide?
Please don't flame me, I really look forward to your input. Thank you.
06-13-2007, 02:59 AM #2
Congratulations on your new addition! How wonderful, scary, and completely overwhelming are those first few weeks. I imagine that your job situation is exacerbating those completely natural emotions, and I'm sorry to hear that your boss has been less than compassionate. Before you do anything rash, please take an objective look at your situation, which I know is hard when you're sleep-deprived!
What were your expectations of life after the adoption? Did you see yourself continuing to work? How does your spouse feel about the possibility of becoming sole earner? Is it even possible for you to live on your spouse's income alone?
These are all questions that deserve careful consideration. If you stop working, you'll need your spouse's complete cooperation and support to make it work, regardless of your family income.
06-13-2007, 09:10 AM #3
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IF you do decide that you cant leave the working world then at the very lest I would say it is time to find a job that doesnt require any odd hrs. The on call thing will be very difficult is not impossible somedays. My dh has a job that requires him to be on call and I am a stay at home mom but even his calls can mess up our plans. OR I willl go grocery shoping and he will have to call me to come home so he can go to work.
Best of luck and congrats on the new baby. I so greatful this child has a good home.
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06-13-2007, 09:46 AM #4
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Congrats on your new addition.
Just curious, where do you live that you aren't allowed a leave of absence for your new baby? Sorry I forgot what it is actually called. I thought it was a law now, whether you give birth or adopt.
06-13-2007, 10:38 AM #5
I do home nursing, private duty. The company has only 6 employees and I am not officially FT. DH doesn't qualify for family medical leave act because he is a few months short of one year.
06-13-2007, 10:44 AM #6
Wow. That's a tough one, and I'm sorry your job is so non-empathetic about your situation. Surely, they knew you would be adopting and that this would be the situation?
Well, I agree that you will have to find a job that doesn't require you to be on call. Could you work it out with them that you would only be on call certain hours? If not, then you will certainly just have to find another job.
I am appalled at their attitude! That's simply disgraceful, and if it was me, I wouldn't want to work for them anyway.
06-13-2007, 10:56 AM #7
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Congratulations on the new addition to your family!
I am sorry you are having a hard time at work. Maybe it is time to find a new job where you aren't on call.
06-13-2007, 11:39 AM #8
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I adopted both of my boys and my oldest ds came home quite a bit earlier than we expected. I was teaching 3 college courses at the time and when he came home, I stopped teaching one of them and took only two weeks off from the other two. I was insane. Looking back now (6 years later), I wish I would have quit all together. I was sleep deprived and frantic, but fortunately I only had 3 weeks left of the term.
Although you're on-call status is part time, I'm surprised that there was no leave worked out.
If you can quit, I would--that's just my two cents, though. Atleast quit so you can find another job. Also, if you could take a month (or more) off in between jobs, that would be helpful. I think it's extremely unreasonable for your employer to expect that you would adopt a baby and not take any time off at all. That's crazy. If you had given birth, they wouldn't expect it and adoption isn't that much different--you're not dealing with physical healing, but sleep deprivation is sleep deprivation no matter how you slice it!
If at all possible, take this time to bond with your new baby. You won't get this time back.
06-14-2007, 09:10 AM #9
Thank you for the support. Just to clarify, I work there part-time but am on call all the time. Meaning - 24/7. I am the supervisor. And that would be a resounding YES! they knew about our adoption plans.
Well, anyway, after much careful consideration, we have decided that I should quit and begin looking for another job in about a months time so I can be with the babe for a bit. We have figured that if I can find something at half the take home I currently make, then we will still be ahead.
So thank you everyone for the support and input. I really appreciate it with this heavy decision.
06-14-2007, 12:41 PM #10
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Congrats on your baby boy!
My job kind of decided I should quit. I worked for a preschool from 1996 until they closed in May 2006. I looked into other preschools, but the only one I found that I liked, wasn't hiring. So I just decided to not find another job. I wasn't making that much money anyway since it was part time, about 15-18 hours per week.
I do work on Sundays for a church nursery, that isn't a lot of money either. But it gets me out of the house and I take my kiddos with me and they go to church and Sunday school while I work.
06-14-2007, 12:58 PM #11
First congratulations to you and your husband. A new baby. That is wonderful and should be a joyful time. I hope you can find that joy all the time.
Working outside the home. This is how we did it. For appox. 8 months, we lived on H salary alone and banked the rest. We change how we ate and what we did to reflect life w/o my salary. We wanted to do this for a year, but, my DMIL became very ill and I needed to stay home immediately. At first it was a struggle. I wanted to jump in the car and go get this or that. I was bored and wanted to run to town to rent a movie. The library called and one of the books I reserved was in...so jump in the car and go. Hey, a latte sounds good...
OK, you get the drift. Unless your H make boucko bucks you will have to say no to the I wanta's. It's a fact. I said, sure I can do that, not problem. When the rubber met the road it was more difficult. My inner child was having a tantrum. After a while and getting used to staying at home. And reading sites like this one. The I wants and the inner child grew up a bit. Frugality becomes a game. Success in saving is the reward.
Good luck. I hope that you can stay home if that is what you and your husband decide is the best for your family and new baby.
06-15-2007, 05:09 PM #12
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Congratulations on the new addition. Being on call is hard with both parents working. I work weird hours so we made the decided to have my DH stay at home.
Even if you get another job if they are being mean I would not want to work there anyway.
06-15-2007, 05:45 PM #13
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Sounds like you all have a good plan and I know you're going to enjoy that new baby! Congrats!
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