Do you ever get lonely???
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    Registered User baxjul's Avatar
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    Default Do you ever get lonely???

    I seem to be getting very lonely, at home. I have a daycare in home, so it seems like the only people I talk to all the time are children and babies. With dh being gone during the week out of town for work, it just gets lonely. What do you all do when you feel like this?

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    Registered User IntlMom's Avatar
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    Julie,
    I have gone through this before. We used to live in CA, and I was horribly unhappy. I homeschooled my children at the time, so I always had them around.....but I did not have freinds, or anything to do. I was very lonely and very, very depressed. However, I have just come to a different place in my life where I don;t really feel lonely, I just enjoy the quiet and the solitude. I do occasionally feel "bored". After my house is cleaned and the laundry is caught up, and I've ironed and made cookies, and gotten dinner together....sometimes I do get a bit bored. I come to the village, and scrapbook sometimes during my daughters naptime whem my boys are at school. I actually find myself saying "no" to doing things just so I can be at home for the peace and quiet and solitude.....

    So, I think it's one of those "phases" that we go through. I can see why you would struggle right now. No family around, and "physcho freinds" (I remember the stories from previous posts).

    Ok, I am rambling now, so I will stop..............

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    I'm in no way discounting loneliness as it is real. However, in my own case, I rarely feel lonely or bored. I have always lived at a frantic rate for most of my life and found that I cherished my alone-time. It seems to me, though, that loneliness and alone-time are two different things. Loneliness seems to be more of a deep yearning or longing for relationships. Alone-time seems to be more of a retreat from the world. What do you think?
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    Registered User Marie78's Avatar
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    If I am feeling really lonely for human contact I will visit family if possible or call family or a friend. Make a plan to get together with a friend, even if it's a week from now or two it will give you something to look forward to.

    I rarely feel bored: I work outside the home 8 hours a day, and go to the gym a few evenings a week. I enjoy reading books and magazines borrowed from the library. I like to browse bookstores for book ideas. I spend lots of free time here at F.V., and I enjoy baking and organizing. I like to write in my journal too. I think most of my activities are ones I enjoy doing alone.

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    When Zac first left I was really lonely too. I didn't know many people up here in Iowa and my family is all four hours away.

    I joined a mommy's group and I have made some wonderful friends and met people that I would have otherwise wouldn't have an opportunity to meet.

    Is that an option?

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    Registered User baxjul's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by MrsMcDowell View Post
    When Zac first left I was really lonely too. I didn't know many people up here in Iowa and my family is all four hours away.

    I joined a mommy's group and I have made some wonderful friends and met people that I would have otherwise wouldn't have an opportunity to meet.

    Is that an option?
    I don't know, they all seem geared towards preschool age kids, and mine is 7 yo. I'm here everyday from 7:00 - 5:30 with the various daycare kids, and I don't take them anywhere with me.

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    Are the kids your watching old enough to take to the park? or the library for a reading day? I wouldn't see a parent objecting and it might give you a chance to meet someone that visits regularly? I use to be a total sahm I work part time now due to a divorce. At first I thought I would go stir crazy but I turned on HGTV (I know bad but) let it play and I always had a project going whether it be on the house or a personal project such as cross stitching, soap making etc are there any hobbies you can take your mind off of the fact your alone? Oh yeah I so frequented a mom's board

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    Registered User Holly's Avatar
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    Many days I am very lonely Julie.
    Maybe you and your dd could get into something at night and you'd make friends that you could do things with during the day.
    Are you in with any of the churches there?
    Maybe a class at night that your dd could attend also ( craft or something at a local Y.)

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    Registered User Momto2Boyz's Avatar
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    I swear, being a SAHM with no other SAHM friends is like being single on a Friday night when all your friends are in relationships!

    When I first decided to stay home with the kids, I was super lonely. I would take the kids to the park, but I am horrible at making small talk, so the thought of striking up a conversation with another mom paralyzed me. So, I went on a more grand scale...I started a yahoo group for local moms, then I asked the newspaper to run an announcement about the group (they did for free), and put up flyers in places like the grocery store & starbucks, etc. Within a week we had about 45 SAHM's sign up to "chat" online. And I never had to make akward small talk with any of them, becuase by the time we met, we had been chatting online for a while and we all knew a little bit about each other. Before long, we had a picnic in the park (it was summer), and wouldn't you know it, out of that group, I found some women that I got along with really well, and we became friends.

    Now, this may or may not be a possibility, but you could check out some groups or even story times. I've found that MOST of the other SAHM's are just as lonely as you are. Many of them would love to set up playdates, or even hang out in the evening for some company! You just need to get yourself out there in places where you might meet some other moms!

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    I am a SAHM and I get lonely sometimes to. It seems to be in phases to. But when I get lonely it seems like I then get depressed and then I don't want to be around anyone. It will last for a week or so then it will get better for a while. All my friends work except for one but we really don't do much together. She is just a little different as in she basically schedules her whole life. Phone calls to friends are scheduled to. I want a friend that if I happen to be feeling lonely will stop what there doing and chat for a little while, I'm not talking about them dropping doing something really important, just stuff like stop cleaning the house for 30 min to chat. I feel like my day is brightened when I talk to a friend. Even just getting an email from them is wonderful, but most of my friend don't have time to write an e-mail but they have the time to FWD me all those joke emails. Ok think I have gotton a little of track. I deffintly know how you feel. It always seems worse in the winter to so just hang in there and keep comming to the FV. The internet is what keeps me from going crazy and of coarse FV.
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    Quote Originally Posted by baxjul View Post
    I seem to be getting very lonely, at home. I have a daycare in home, so it seems like the only people I talk to all the time are children and babies. With dh being gone during the week out of town for work, it just gets lonely. What do you all do when you feel like this?
    Go to yahoo groups or meetup.com and look for local playgroups. I found a playgroup on meetup and made a couple of friends. How many are in your daycare? It is so important to get out of the house when you are a SAHM.

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    (hugs) I hear ya!

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    Registered User momofslg's Avatar
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    I was soooo in the same boat a few years ago. We just moved to this neighborhood and knew NO ONE. My daughter was signed up for Girl Scouts and I am her leader. I have met so many wonderful women through Scouts it's amazing. I can truly say that these women are friends (not just acquaintances)
    Even if you don't have time to be a leader you can always volunteer with a troop ( I never turn away help)

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    Daycare is hard--I did it when my kids were little, too, and it really makes it hard to get out of the house. I didn't like taking a bunch of other kids out with me, either. :-/ The only thing that helped was being involved at my church...still didn't get out much during the day, but at least there were things to do an evening or two a week. Is there something you could do with your kid at night after the "extras" are gone?

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    Registered User FrugalWitch's Avatar
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    I'm not a mom, but I'm a 24/7 caregiver to my Momma who is totally bedridden. I get so lonesome for contact unrelated to caregiving that I could just scream sometimes. The only people I see are nurses, hha, and physical therapists. They aren't here to chat with me, they come to do their job with Momma. I understand that, but all my so-called "friends" (except one) have written me off during the past six years.

    When you can't go anywhere it tends to make keeping friends difficult. I only get out of the house to drive DH back and forth to work, do grocery shopping (have to be quick and do it while Mom naps) and taking Momma back and forth to the doctor.

    Supposedly I should be getting some sort of grant in the next month or two which will pay for some respite care.

    I empathize with you, loneliness can be tough! Thank goodness for FV, it keeps me sane.

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