Stay-at-Home by Choice question...

**leezza** · 03-23-2008, 02:26 PM

Well, first thing I would like to say is, it sounds like you chose well.....and that you have a wonderful man that loves you and wants you to be happy.

I became a SAHW last summer after a layoff and at first I was very nervous and worried about money......but I settled in and really enjoy it now. beyond the keeping of the house, and cooking most items......I have found that I am able to devote a lot of time to saving money and getting financial items taken care of....It is kinda cute that my husband tells people with pride that I am a coupon queen, (even though I am not able to get the deals some of the others here get, YET).

Myself I really enjoy reading and have done alot of that.

Be happy and make the best decision for you : )

Best Wishes,
leezza

**Ms.** · 03-23-2008, 02:34 PM

I had no idea I would get such fabulous--and varied--points of view here. Many of you pointed out things I hadn't considered, and others reinforced what I had already presumed. Thanks so much! Although I haven't decided what to do yet, I certainly have a lot more angles from which to work and make the right decision for my hubby and myself.

And yes, my hubby is that supportive and smart. He draws people to him instantly because of his abilty to "be" while others are busy "doing." (I just wish I could get him to put his dirty laundry in the hamper and not on the floor) :-)

03-23-2008, 09:18 PM

I just wanted to add that in addition to possibly becoming a SAHW, you're also moving out of state. We moved out of state once for DH's job, and when I was home by myself I was very lonely and depressed - I ended up working part-time mostly for my sanity and to make some friends (it wasn't for the money or anything close to my career or work skills). I don't think it was being at home as much as being far away from my friends and family that really made me want to work.

**M55FF** · 03-23-2008, 09:25 PM

Originally Posted by Ms.

I had no idea I would get such fabulous--and varied--points of view here. Many of you pointed out things I hadn't considered, and others reinforced what I had already presumed. Thanks so much! Although I haven't decided what to do yet, I certainly have a lot more angles from which to work and make the right decision for my hubby and myself.

And yes, my hubby is that supportive and smart. He draws people to him instantly because of his abilty to "be" while others are busy "doing." (I just wish I could get him to put his dirty laundry in the hamper and not on the floor) :-)

You can shop for a hamper that looks like a basketball hoop...
just for him... he'll have hard time passing it up.......

give you something to shop for.

if you really get into the stay at home, you'll be able to make out of of
coat hangers and fabric, thats portable, fold up, that doubles as a hammock
and sun shade...
lol

oh how lucky you are, don't tell any of your friends, they will start to hate you beacsue your just too lucky to have a guy like that

**magaka** · 03-24-2008, 06:13 PM

I think if it were me, and I was going to be moving away-I think I would give it a try!! I would stay home for a while and see what I thought of the whole thing. If you decide that you love it-GREAT. And if not, then you can take your time and find something that you think you would enjoy doing.

Besides, even if you are staying home, you can always frind some sort of work you can do from home helping an organization that you believe in or something, and get that "feel good" feeling going!

**angelbumpkin** · 03-24-2008, 06:58 PM

I think you should do what your heart leads you too do. It really is your choice.
Wishing postive thoughts on your decision.

**CookieLee** · 10-12-2015, 07:57 PM

I'd quit in a heartbeat!

When we moved from CA to ID we both went into "early semi-retirement". I quit working all together and hubby worked part-time just enough to keep us qualified for healthcare benefits. We were in our 40's. It was wonderful!

Everyone I have ever know who 'retired' said they were so busy they never knew how they ever found time to work.

All that said, DO expect an adjustment period. You will have times where you wander around the house wondering what you should do. You'll most likely go through a period of depression and an adjustment to your identity. You'll explore your sense of self worth and both of you will re-evaluate your position in the marriage. (Some of my husband's long held biases surfaced and I was shocked but we worked through them.) It isn't all roses, but it is far better than feeling like you HAVE to work. I work full time now (wish I didn't) and have significantly benefited from the experience.

I will say, after you've recovered from always working and you've settled from the hustle/bustle of moving and setting up the house, you might want to work as a temp or volunteer at a few places. As an adult in a new town, it'll be difficult to meet people and make friends, especially because you don't have young children. Working a little bit and volunteering helps get you into situations where you can make connections with like minded people.

Shhhhhhh ... it is a well kept secret that there are TONS of independently wealthy younger people out there who don't have to work! You'll discover them when you quit working.

**daylily** · 10-13-2015, 02:13 PM

I wonder what the OP decided to do? This thread is from 2008.

I've been a SAHW/M for most of 43 years and boredom is definitely not one of the things that was a problem for me! There are too many things I love to do!

**Buckeye5** · 10-15-2015, 11:12 AM

daylilly, could share some of the things you do? I am a new stay at home wife, and since summer has ended I am a bit lonely and lost some days. I live in the country, no neighbors, etc. I hate driving into town so I don't do it often. Any tips would be appreciated. Also we are on a tight budget.

**mndtrp** · 10-15-2015, 11:45 AM

Provide some of your interests and dislikes, that would probably help people suggest something. I could spend all day tinkering on projects in the garage and playing video games. If you despise both of those things, what good would it do to suggest them?

**Izzybeff** · 10-18-2015, 11:23 PM

I recently became a stay at home wife. I do work 5-10 hours a week for my previous company, but it's all from home. We have three dogs and between them, taking care of my husband, cooking and cleaning, I never seem to get bored. I do knit a lot and read a lot so that fills my time. My husband has a lot of allergies so I cook about 95% of our food. DH has his own business so I occasionally help him with that also. I'm really enjoying it and DH loves that I take care of everything and he really only needs to worry about work. I also go to the YMCA 5 days a week to water walk. Gives me some socializing. I still hate grocery shopping though.

**Buckeye5** · 10-19-2015, 01:35 PM

I thought about joining the Y, but it is a 27 mile round trip since I live in a rural area. I really hate the thought of driving into town especially with winter and bad snowy roads about to happen, however, I may consider something less than that. I have been bored lately, trying to find my way.

**peanut** · 10-19-2015, 03:48 PM

I've been a stay at home wife/mom for 22 years now. Some of that was forced due to health issues, both mine and my children's. But looking back, I wouldn't change a thing. I've been able to explore multiple hobbies, volunteer in community organizations, engage in more time consuming frugal activities, take online courses to further my education, read, and cook. Cleaning was cut short for me when I wrecked my back. Hubby, unfortunately, does most of that.

Hubby had a period of being angry with me for my inability to work, but that was when I was seriously ill and he was angry with the whole world more or less. We've talked about it lately. He's 63 and due to retire next spring. I'm 56 and wondering what to do to help ends meet until I turn 65 and receive Canada Pension, etc. Which won't be much for me. In response I've started a small business selling my artwork. It doesn't bring in much, but it's a good start.

So while we'll be living on a reduced income in retirement, I think we will manage just fine due to the frugal training I've been in these past 22 years.

**daylily** · 02-25-2016, 02:09 PM

Originally Posted by Buckeye5

daylilly, could share some of the things you do? I am a new stay at home wife, and since summer has ended I am a bit lonely and lost some days. I live in the country, no neighbors, etc. I hate driving into town so I don't do it often. Any tips would be appreciated. Also we are on a tight budget.

Buckeye, I'm so sorry I missed this post! I live in the country too, about 25 miles from everything in all directions. I also hate driving into town and only go once a month for grocery shopping unless I have to go for some other reason.

I like to learn so I'm always studying something or more likely several things. Things I'm currently studying include Bible, Spanish, ancient history, health issues, natural remedies, wild edible plants.

I cook from scratch due to several family allergies and intolerances. We grow much of our food including fruits.

When the weather is good, I do lots of things outside, gardening, both food and flowers, I enjoy propagating my own plants by seed, cuttings, etc. I take long walks with my dog and shorter walks with my mom and her dog. I'm a birder. There is a whole world of birders out there all ages and from all walks of life. I love going on day trips with other birders and birding on my own as well.

I'm not much of a crafty person although I do knit and do cross stitch mostly in winter. Our family works jigsaw puzzles together as we discuss current events, Biblical topics and other topics. We also work on projects together around the homestead.

I read a lot and have several books going at the same time. We are a musical family and take time to sing and play instruments together several times a week.

I'm not a really social person, more of an introvert. I could cheerfully go for weeks and never see another person other than my family. I do interact at church twice a week and enjoy it. I just don't seem to need it right now. If I didn't have my family I'm sure that would be very different but right now, they fulfill my social needs.

I hold a few volunteer church offices that add to my busyness. I'm church treasurer, assistant health ministries leader and teach an adult Bible class. a friend and I are also teaching a monthly class on natural remedies.

Some things I don't do are watch TV, play video games. I'm not being judgmental of those who do. It's not something I enjoy. I don't feel edified by those those things. I hope that makes sense!

Forgot to add genealogy, one of my favorite hobbies!

**peanut** · 02-25-2016, 06:07 PM

Too funny this should pop up again now. I just had a church acquaintance ask me last night what I do all day! I told her I was the Queen of Hobbies. I knit, sew, embroider, rug hook, stamp collect, do art journaling, sketching, journaling period, and, when I have time, I work on de-cluttering the house! Lately I've been doing needlepoint too.

Then there's my church activities and my business activities. Plus company. And when I get too lonely we take in boarders. This winter is the first winter in four years I've been home alone all day. We're thinking of getting in another boarder.

Somehow I don't feel too bored. If I am I get online to connect up with the various online communities I'm on, or I pick up the phone and talk to someone.