His exwife called him today
Results 1 to 12 of 12
  1. #1

    Join Date
    May 2008
    Posts
    7
    Post Thanks / WTG / Hug
    Rep Power
    0

    Default His exwife called him today

    I just posted that she wanted to be a good friend with me, well she called him today. DH told me she had just called, and he was civil to her, but that was it. He said I didn't need to worry. I am a little upset by this phone call.

  2. #2
    Banned
    Join Date
    Dec 2008
    Location
    E.Panhandle of WV
    Posts
    952
    Post Thanks / WTG / Hug
    Rep Power
    19

    Default

    Just put your sensors on yellow alert and keep an eye on her. sounds like she's up to something. couldn't tell you what exactly, but......
    now, if she was in therapy and was trying to work thru some things, then wouldn't she be encouraged by the therapist to inform you both , that that is whats going on? I think so.
    So, I'd just keep an eye on her. this whole thing out of the blue is just weird.IMO.

  3. #3
    Registered User Milly's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2008
    Posts
    141
    Post Thanks / WTG / Hug
    Rep Power
    14

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by auntbkaraoke View Post
    I just posted that she wanted to be a good friend with me, well she called him today. DH told me she had just called, and he was civil to her, but that was it. He said I didn't need to worry. I am a little upset by this phone call.
    What on earth is this woman thinking? Did he say what the reason for her call was?

  4. Remove Advertisements
    FrugalVillage.com
    Advertisements
     

  5. #4
    Registered User NewLeaf's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2009
    Location
    Virginia
    Age
    54
    Posts
    1,157
    Post Thanks / WTG / Hug
    Rep Power
    19

    Default

    Oh no no no. They broke ties for a good reason, and now his new life is w/you. Unless there are children from the previous marriage there is no good reason for contact.

    My ex wanted to "be friends". But dh and I said no because we need our life to be our own.

    Just tell her you do not think it is a good idea to mix the old and new relationships. Tell dh no good can come of it.

    Good luck.

  6. #5
    Member Darlene's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2002
    Location
    Upstate NY
    Posts
    27,948
    Post Thanks / WTG / Hug
    Rep Power
    71

    Default

    I'd just let the whole thing go, it's not worth getting all worked up about. Not even a tiny bit. You got the guy, you are happy, just get on enjoying your life. She can only be part of your day to day life if you let her. Just my 2




  7. #6
    Registered User MomToTwoBoys's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2008
    Location
    Edmonton, AB Canada
    Age
    43
    Posts
    3,972
    Post Thanks / WTG / Hug
    Blog Entries
    23
    Rep Power
    30

    Default

    EXs wanting to be friends after the divorce = bad things

    Trust me: I went through it. I had all sorts of exs who wanted to be friends that, in the end, wanted something (it was usually the guy I was with). Unless there's something that's still connecting them that's physical in nature (meaning material items), then I would tell him to stop talking to her. Tell him it makes you uncomfortable and if he can't afford you that respect, perhaps he needs to re-weigh his priorities.

  8. #7
    Registered User Debbie-cat's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2008
    Location
    British Columbia
    Age
    55
    Posts
    26,302
    Post Thanks / WTG / Hug
    Blog Entries
    166
    Rep Power
    158

    Default

    Try not to let it bother you but be on alert. She might be up to something.




  9. #8
    lgw
    lgw is offline
    Registered User
    Join Date
    Jan 2008
    Location
    New Hampshire
    Posts
    193
    Post Thanks / WTG / Hug
    Rep Power
    14

    Default

    This does sound strange, particularly because she wanted to outreach to you initially. Was your DH and ex's marriage a contentious divorce?

    That said, my ex-DH and I still talk occasionally and are friends. Our divorce was mutual and amicable, though, and there were no kids or property involved. Each of us is happily married to other people now. Being friend with an ex-spouse can be pleasant and rewarding, but it requires moving on to a different stage in the adult relationship. If that's not possible, it's probably best to cut off ties.

  10. #9

    Join Date
    Sep 2002
    Posts
    1,401
    Post Thanks / WTG / Hug
    Rep Power
    0

    Default

    My Dh's ex used to call and write all the time. All it did was upset my DH because all she did (he said) was whine how miserable her life was. Finally I told him to tell her to stop calling and writing unless it had something to do with his son. She was just trying to make him feel guilty for being happy. He did tell her and now she no longer writes and calls maybe once a year. I don't really care cause he's all mine LOL

  11. #10
    Registered User FrugalWitch's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2005
    Location
    Alabama
    Age
    56
    Posts
    1,184
    Post Thanks / WTG / Hug
    Rep Power
    19

    Default

    I remained friends with my ex-husband until he died on March 12, 2009. His sister chose me and my husband to write and deliver the eulogy at the memorial service.

    My ex's family gave me his ashes to scatter in his favorite place. My ex and I had no problems remaining friends. My husband and ex grew to love each other like brothers.

    There was nothing weird, funny or sexual going on between us. We started as friends and ended as friends.

  12. #11
    Registered User frugalnana's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2005
    Location
    ohio
    Age
    57
    Posts
    1,102
    Post Thanks / WTG / Hug
    Rep Power
    18

    Default

    I would just be on alert and listen. Maybe she's trying to make a change for the better. My ex and I had allot of issues when we divorced, we also had two children. Through years of talking and overcoming the abuse that happened we are now friends and I'm glad. My current dh is friends with Mike and they talk if he calls. My dh's ex passed away on March 26 2009 of cancer, they were never able to be friends, not because of him but her. We tried but to no avail.
    Maybe I'm wrong here, but I feel if ones relationship is secure then you have no real threats. My dh is friends with ex girlfriends and woman he grew up with and I don't feel like they are on the move or he is. To this date he hasn't given me a reason to feel like he would do the unthinkable.

  13. #12
    Registered User
    Join Date
    Aug 2007
    Location
    U.S.
    Posts
    3,479
    Post Thanks / WTG / Hug
    Blog Entries
    56
    Rep Power
    34

    Default

    If my ex-DH showed up and wanted to be friends, I'd flat tell him no. But I think a lot of this has to do with HOW the divorce went down and why. Divorce is a horrible thing and a terrible blow to your ego. I can understand wanting to get some kind of closure, but it isn't always reasonable for the other people involved. If you're uncomfortable with it, then that's enough. It doesn't matter if she wants to be friends, your DH is ok with it, or not. If one person in the marriage thinks it's a bad idea, it's a bad idea. My .02!

    Judi
    Last edited by Judi Dial; 04-12-2009 at 09:01 PM.

Similar Threads

  1. Replies: 21
    Last Post: 05-22-2011, 11:47 AM
  2. Called the hospital today..
    By pop goes the weasel in forum General Chat
    Replies: 18
    Last Post: 02-09-2011, 02:43 AM
  3. Exwife wants to be 'good' friends with me!
    By auntbkaraoke in forum Stepmoms and Second Wives
    Replies: 26
    Last Post: 02-21-2009, 03:21 PM
  4. doctor called today
    By McD in forum Health and beauty
    Replies: 9
    Last Post: 10-23-2006, 09:51 PM
  5. I called the local gym today
    By heaven in forum Health and beauty
    Replies: 14
    Last Post: 03-12-2003, 12:59 PM

Tags for this Thread

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •