Been gone for awhile
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  1. #1
    Registered User patra's Avatar
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    Default Been gone for awhile

    I had been unable to log in, then I reset my password (finally figured it out!). I am "sober" almost six years. I have abstained from drinking and drugs, but have had food binges and worse, shopping binges. I am the trustee of my fathers house, and it is so hard. Along with addiction issues, I am bipolar and have lupus. This nasty combination has brought me to my metaphorical knees. I live with my fiancee he is older than me, and his son an ex marine with PTSD and a beautiful soul, though he is very troubled and drinks. My children still reside with their father in another town. I miss them but am actually relieved that they are in good hands and I have time to work on my issues.My sponser told me that when I shop it's because unconciously I want to drink. She has been tougher on me as late but it doesn't seem to do any good. She has cancer and is undergoing chemo, she is elderly(between 78 and 80) and is a very strong woman. I wake up to early nearly every morning( either dog or cat wakes me).Ive maxed out three credit cards mostly with needs for the house(eg chainsaw to get rid of a dead tree limb that took out my wires)and gutters. But then I gave myself free reign to use it on little things 20 here 30 there.....

    My sister is executor of the estate and I've told her of my issues but she doesn't seem to find it pressing.

    I'm working part time at Michaels and am very happy there. I also paint draw do tai chi and yoga, all at home.I feel like I'm blocked from my higher power and have reached a spiritual bottom when last time it was emotional. I was raised Catholic and am trying to practice it, but am not sure what I believe,all I know is that God doesn't have a religion.I know I have come here before and probably sound like a broken record. But I do have some achievements. I've been out of the hospital six months( I'm a chronic relapser of mental illness)Ive held a job for three months,(Long time for me)I have stabilized my mood is level. I have a good doctor. Unfortunately I screwed up my insurance, thought I was going to lose medicaid and signed up for the NY health market, paid 500$ and found I still qualify for medicaid, because it is based on income.

    I cancelled a few cards I have paid off and will cancel the others when I pay them down a bit( or maybe I should cancel them now!) my credit is poor again I had fixed it.

    I do own my car it's a little beat up but runs great and will serve me a few more years I think. The house has no mortgage eventually I will be responsible for the taxes.

    we need a new roof over part of the house, my boyfriends son's half brother will do it probably for a lot less than the quotes Ive gotten. God has been good to me but I disrespect that goodness by my behavior, and don't feel the light of His spirit. I hope I haven't gone on too much and will end here....


    Patty

  2. #2
    Registered User ilovechocolate's Avatar
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    Hi patra, I remember you! Congratulations on your sobriety. That is awesome. Can you find another sponsor or perhaps a co-sponsor? Your current sponsor has a lot going on in her life and it might be easier on her, even though I don't really know how sponsorship works.

    Since you've been here before you know there're a lot of posts on curbing your spending. Start rereading them and post when you need to.

  3. #3
    Registered User Contrary Housewife's Avatar
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    Hugs, and welcome back.
    Stop trying to organize all of your family’s crap. If organization worked for you, you’d have rocked it by now. It’s time to ditch stuff and de-crapify your world.

    If you're not using the stuff in your home, get rid of it. You're not going to start using it more by shoving it into a closet.

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  5. #4
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    Hey Patra,welcome back. Sounds like you have done well w/ the sobriety for sure. I agree time to find a second sponser so the transition doesnt set you off. As for the cards you know to cancel them now. I thought boyfriend was going to handle the finances and give you an allowance. We cant help who we are but we can pull in other to assist. I hope you have continued success w/ the not drinking.

  6. #5
    Registered User pinetree's Avatar
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    Congratulations on your 6 months! WTG!! That is fantastic, I hope you keep adding on the months, days to it. I know how hard it is for you, and you are winning!!
    Make sure you have a sponsor, I think you know how important it is to have one.. maybe yours now can help you find a new one for later on...is need be...this one may be with you for years to come!
    Sounds like you are doing alot better, hugs to you... one step at a time....
    Pine trees, with their needles pointing up to heaven, represent everlasting light and life.

  7. #6
    Registered User pinetree's Avatar
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    Sorry Patty, I meant 5 years I couldn't edit..
    Pine trees, with their needles pointing up to heaven, represent everlasting light and life.

  8. #7
    Registered User patra's Avatar
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    Thanks guys...I will look over my old posts about my being irresponsible with money. I am always able to pay the bills and put food on the table,that always comes first; not really able to save. I am intending to put 15% of my income away.I had to come to a bottom again I think, in order to surrender. I can't really concentrate so its hard to read or watch tv. I mostly draw paint and do yoga and walk. Also work now, but I think a lot of it has to do with boredom.

  9. #8
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    I found in the past I was easily able to let money slip away and use the CC to fill the diff. I started that Dave Ramsey course at a church. He said make every dollar have a name. Even right now 7 years later I label each dollar=van fund,savings,car ins. even if those things are far off. It helps w/ all the BS advertising throws at it. I go in nature and havent been to a proper clothing store,shoe store or even mall in 8 yrs?. I rarely go to the theater but switched to the one sitting alone NOT attached to the mall. I have blown away every Black Friday ad specifically so I wont get tempted. Out of Sight helps. My mantra is "Look at this place,I dont need that crap". I used to go to S.A.,goodwill and a few other local resale places. I realized a shopping addiction can be resale too. Took a good look around and went=enough. Now I am going about eliminating a lot of stuff. I was waiting on newspaper and boxes but thats taking too long so hubby and I decided buying them is ok. Making changes. As soon as the holiday is over I am attacking the kitchen in as big a way as I can. Good luck w/ your journey.

  10. #9
    Registered User NikoSan999's Avatar
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    Congratulations on the 6 months!! Agree with the getting a second/new sponsor now so you don't have a lapse in between when/if something happens to her.
    Maybe try coming on here more often even if all you do is read. Gives you something positive to do.
    Wish you the best of luck.
    Bank of America is THE godfather of Hell with Wells Fargo running neck and neck. When the world ends the only things that will be left are cockroaches, Walmart, Wells Fargo and Bank of America. Not necessarily in that order. The order remains to be seen.

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  11. #10
    Registered User nodmicks's Avatar
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    Hugs! Big cheers on 6 months!!!!

  12. #11
    Registered User patra's Avatar
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    its six years actually,thank you though for the well wishes

  13. #12
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    wow that's an interesting thread

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