How do I empower my little "Victim"
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  1. #1

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    Default How do I empower my little "Victim"

    I started to put this under family but I have something rather graphic to share.

    Damon is my youngest - he is in 4th Grade and he is 9 (July 31st birthday) so he is almost a year younger thn the kids in his grade. He is so intelligent that he tested the highest scores for a 4th grader in the state of Colorado and is in the top 2% of the nation on national testing scores. He has always had a problem making friends and would do nearly anything for them to keep them - Including loaning a big bully kid two Gameboy Games which the kid stole and the Mom won't give back - the kid says his mom told him to steal them - she told me he flat didn't have them. Anyway - when Damon was in preschool he was playing at a nother little boys house and this little boty told Damon he would be his friend if Damon let him "suck his penis" (now where the hell did a preschooler learn that??) and Damon consented. I have always worried about this victim thing and had hoped Damon would grow out of it but it is getting worse. His breathe is bad - he breathes through his mouth - I have to fight him to brush his teeth - he has allergies and his nose is always runny in the spring with sinus infections. I don't want him to be the "gross" kid. He is whiny and refuses to do things withthe other kids and says noone likes him. (Yes, I have complained about this before) He is also the Baby that Bob and grandma (Bob's mom) wanted me to abort and they have always been very hard on him cuz he looks like Kip (red hair). I have tried with the teacher and she says he gets bullied all the time and he just backs down. I have tried getting him to say "if you have nothing nice to say then don't talk to me" He won't. I am flat out of ideas and Bob is worthless in the helping department. I have been on the phone with Bob and Damon's teacher and the bus driver and this other kid's mom all morning. I am tired of my kids being bullied by these other little jerks but Damon is going to have to stand up for him self and I just don't have a clue what to try...

    PLEASE --- ANY IDEAS WILL BE APPRECIATED!!!

  2. #2
    Registered User paelthom's Avatar
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    Kimmee,
    I have no advise but I do understand. He needs something to build his own personal self esteem but as I have hardly any myself, I don't know what to tell you. But as one mom to another, I'm sending you a hug. BTW he has the same birthdate as my dd - July 31 but she's a bit older and I will say it's been hard on her always being the youngest in her grade. She's also small in size and that has made her a target. I hope some of the others on here have some good advise for you. In the meantime, here is another hug.



  3. #3

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    Pat - did you know that it is also Harry Potter's birthday??

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  5. #4
    Registered User paelthom's Avatar
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    Nope didn't know. We aren't big Harry Potter fans and I just had never heard that.

  6. #5

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    Maybe he is having self esteem issues due to a budding depression. Sometimes it's hard to look at our kids with our Mommy Hearts and see the signs.

    You could try involving him in Cub Scouts, Tae-Kwon-Do or a church youth group. He might have more luck learning to develop relationships in a smaller group setting. IMO church youth groups can be very good.

    His hygeine issues will probably resolve themselves as he becomes more interested in girls over the next couple of years.

  7. #6
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    Kimmee, I don't have any advice here, but I do like Karen's idea of maybe getting Damon involved in a nonschool recreation activity. I hope things will resolve themselves over time. Kids are cruel....don't we all know... and I know I have forgotten at times how hard it really was sometimes!

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    Registered User Katybird's Avatar
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    Aww Kimmee, I am so sorry Damon is going through all this . I know it breaks your heart too to have to watch him endure this. I think Karen had a wonderful idea of the tai-kwon-do or actually any martial art. They teach are great for teaching and building self esteem and it would be a Godsend for Damon to be able to protect himself if he ever needed too. They teach using violence as a very last resort but he would have the skills to protect himself. It is also wonderful to watch a child bloom as he achieves the degrees of the belts, they are so proud of themselves as they achieve them.

    and to you both.

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