No please just bring yourself

**StartingOver** · 10-26-2011, 08:36 PM

It seems every holiday we are always invited to dinner at my SIL home, and I ask everytime "We'd love to, what can I bring." To which the reply is: "Nothing, just bring yourself & your family."

So when we arrive, I find out that everyone else brought a dish or dessert of some sort and then I feel bad. I was talking to a co-worker about this and she said she ALWAYS brings something, even when she's told "No need to bring anything."

So now with the holiday coming up again. Do I just plan on bringing something? Even when I'm told not to?

What do you all do when you are guests at the home of a family member for a holiday dinner?

**Russ** · 10-26-2011, 08:41 PM

The wife says: never show up empty handed. So we take a dessert or bottle of wine.

**HappyMama** · 10-26-2011, 08:41 PM

I always bring a hostess gift, whether it is homemade fudge, a bottle of wine or flowers. Usually something I made on a pretty platter. Then I bring a dessert, or veggie platter, or side dish whatever would fit in the theme.

Enjoy your dinner.

**mndtrp** · 10-26-2011, 08:55 PM

I've noticed that people typically go the dessert route. At almost every event I go to, there are always plenty of desserts left over that no one eats. Therefore, I try to go with a crunchy snack that can be munched on here and there.

Unless it's a boozin' party, in which case I bring booze.

**ubumartin** · 10-26-2011, 09:28 PM

I host a lot of family holidays with my in-laws and a lot of the time I say the same thing. It is just easier to know for sure you have something rather than to depend on someone else to bring it.

One of my SIL always tells me she is going to bring something anyway and she will make suggestions of what she would like to contribute and that is helpful. Then another one of my SIL's always brings chips and salsa and ben & jerry's ice cream that I am too cheap to buy! Always a favorite!!! Then I have 2 others who never bring anything or even offer, and that is fine, I don't expect them to.

**MaggieMoo** · 10-26-2011, 09:31 PM

Like the others have said, I would bring dessert or a bottle of wine.

QM · 10-26-2011, 09:44 PM

You could bake a batch of brownies. Everybody loves chocolate, and it's a pretty frugal (and delicious) dessert!

**McD** · 10-26-2011, 09:47 PM

I always take something, I'd feel bad showing up empty-handed.

I usually take an appetizer of some sort.

**brennasmom** · 10-26-2011, 10:14 PM

I would also bring a small gift... flowers, candle, or something along those lines

**zakity** · 10-26-2011, 11:35 PM

I always bring something. I have too many teen boys to not bring something. And, we usually feed the guys beforehand.

**Contrary Housewife** · 10-26-2011, 11:42 PM

If they insist we not bring something, then I go empty handed and I don't feel guilty about it.

The only time I take things when told not to is when I visit family or close friends overnight, because I need my lactaid milk and I don't expect others to buy it for me.

**dancemommy** · 10-27-2011, 12:21 AM

I think you could go either way. Honestly, when I say don't bring anything I mean it. I have relatives that take the place over if I allow them to bring things- seriously- they'd bring the whole meal if I'd let them! Don't feel bad. I don't think bringing nothing is wrong.

**ml2620** · 10-27-2011, 07:14 AM

What about making a pan of muffins for the host family to enjoy the morning after thanksgiving? If she has some food plan or style she's trying to stick to, you won't disrupt it, but they will have something fresh and new and easy to wake up to the next morning.

**NicJean** · 10-27-2011, 07:18 AM

We aren't ever invited anywhere (now that's got me thinking. . .) I'm the one who plans and asks people to bring themselves, and mean it. A bottle of wine or dessert or something is always a nice gesture, but I really mean it when I ask people to just come.