Do you find Hosting to be more of a chore...

[brenda67]

then not? I was thinking how in my family the women do it all..I found that I really dont like hosting! I hate the fact that Im doing most of the cooking (my mil is 81yrs old and for the past few years my BIL & SiL havent been joining us during the Holidays anymore..which we have been together on the Holidays for 18-yrs!) (my father always brings his famous stuffed mushrooms)so I end up with all the work while everyone else gets to visit with each other..I never feel relaxed nor do I enjoy the meal because Im burnt out from cooking and normally tired..then after the meal is eaten in less than a hour then comes the cleanup..

Yes,Im venting! I think back on the past several years where my SIL hosted because we lived in our small trailer (for many years) and there wasnt enough room for my own hubby and kids to eat at the table..or I always ended up working and didnt get home until 2:30 in the afternoon...I now remember how tired my SIL looked when we arrived at her house..When my MIL hosted she acted like she was on speed all hyper and crap..but her dh would help her do everything including putting the leftovers away and doing the dishes..

I just think it sucks for the women! I guess if there are a lot of wiomen in the family to all share the work it probably wouldnt be so bad..at least in my eyes anyway.

I just found out my Dad whom I havent seen in 4-months is coming home for a week he will be here for Thanksgiving..

Im really considering going to the restaurant literally 1-mile down the road to have our Thanksgiving meal ..but then again my son works there and is also working on Thanksgiving and it wouldnt be fair to him because he wouldnt be able to join us!

I would never buy any grocery store Thanksgiving meals either..

So I guess Im SOL!

Thanks for listening to me rant.

[Nadders11]

My MIL and dh cook at our house and then I clean up. I would not do it at my house if I was in charge of cooking, and clean up. Not fair. Why are the men not cleaning up? Start a new tradition. Who ever cooks doesn't clean. That would be a nice way of saying "thanks" to you.

My brother and sil ordered their Christmas dinner last year from a nice restaurant. The whole dinner plus dessert was ready for pickup in the afternoon. They have a week of birthdays before Xmas and did not want to spend a day with cooking and clean up.

Sorry you have to do it all...that doesn't seem very fun or fair to me.

[citrine]

I am lucky...DH does all the cooking and I clean before and after. He will also help me clean up after and put away the leftovers. If I had to cook, it would be at a nice restaurant

[brenda67]

I agree the men should help! However, no way is that gonna happen here in my house..I will prep ahead of time so that all I have to do is cook the Turkey..make the gravy & rolls and heat up the other food..I going to use styrofoam plates.. Im not gonna stress it this year no matter what...Kody will be leaving for bootcamp so this will be the last Thanksgiving for us to have as a family for a long time..

You ladies are pretty lucky having your dh's help.

[Contrary Housewife]

No reason you should have to do everything. Make it known to guests that side dishes they want to share are very welcome. Take advantage of some things in the grocery store, like a cheese or veggie platter, or a fruit tray for afterward. Or put out a big bowl of nuts to crack.

Yes! Use paper plates. I buy the fall themed ones on clearance and use them every year because it saves on washing up. I think the paper napkins are so festive.

There are a lot of recipes you can make in advance, even 2-3 days ahead of time and refrigerate, then you can be visiting with guests while dinner warms up. Also, if the children are old enough to "help" don't be afraid to recruit them and get them involved, even if it is simple stuff like getting the green bean casserole out of the fridge and putting the onions on top.

I bet if you ask just as dinner is wrapping up (in front of the guests) "Darling, will you help me clear the table" you will get some assistance.

[Spirit Deer]

KISS. Don't make such an elaborate meal. Keep it simple.

Make some of the sides and desserts ahead and freeze them.

Do some of the prep work such as chopping, slicing, etc. ahead if you can.

If you're having a crowd, assign different dishes to different people to bring. You provide the meat and sides for the meat such as gravy and stuffing.

Have you considered grilling? Sometimes guys who wouldn't touch a stove with a ten foot spatula just love cooking on the grill. It's perfectly doable in New York, unless the weather is really icky. If you want to get him involved for next year, buy him a smoker or turkey fryer for Christmas.

If clean-up is a problem, use disposables as much as possible.

Get the kids involved. There's no reason they can't help, unless they're little. Our oldest son and oldest daughter informed me when they were fourteen they were going to take care of the holiday meals from then on, and they did. They planned the menu and assigned tasks to the younger kids and supervised so things got done right and on time. It was amazing. They would ask for advice but didn't allow me to do anything. And they did the whole elaborate thing including cooking turkey for ten or twelve people and all the sides, setting the table, all of it including cleaning up.

[bonnotsm9]

I prep ahead of time to make it easier and dh does the clean up. Maybe your sons or dh would do the turkey if you had one of those fryer things? My dad would never lift a finger to help with dishes or cooking (macho ex-military guy) but if it was bbq-ish he'd do it.

[CookieLee]

I like to host. I like being in my own house and able to change clothes or turn down the heat if it gets too stuffy, etc. I like nothing having to be anywhere at a specific time or dealing with crazy people on the road to-and-from. I also know I'll be preparing food I like and can eat. I usually have a glass of wine while guests are arriving just to slow me down so I can relax and enjoy everyone. I do prepare as far ahead as possible. I also assign hubby to make sure everyone has drinks and nibbles. We eat on real plates since plates are easy to put in the dishwasher but dessert is served with disposables and we use disposables for the rest of the day too. If I'm feeling lonely in the kitchen, I will usually drag someone in there to visit with me. I like being able to talk to people one on one.

I have been known to flop on the couch at the end of a meal and ask in a loud voice, "Okay, I cooked who is cleaning?" However, if it is my kitchen, I prefer to clean. That way I can find stuff again.

[mauimagic]

So glad that you vented early as the ideas that are shared here may help you and others too. Shame on your family members for not even offering....sounds as if they have gotten in to some rotten habits which should no longer be supported.

Love the idea of assigning side dishes. What are they going to say- no? Especially if you offer them a choice .....such as......."I just cannot manage Thanksgiving on my own and I want your help. What would you rather bring - pie or hashed potatoes?"

Please let us know how it goes!

[jess11]

This will be the second year I haven't invited people over for a holiday meal. Was getting to burned out with all the cooking. Now I am more into the out to dinner mode since I am always cooking 95% every day. Having a nice meal at a restaurant just seems more special to me right now.

I do know of some good catering or restaurants that will deliver fully cooked meals but most of the meal I can't eat anyway.

I hope you can figure something out that will work for you.

[onencgirl]

I hosted, cooked and cleaned up holiday meals for well over 20 years. Then, one day I realized I was tired of it all. The next year I announced we were going out to a restaurant and have done so ever since. I think my dil cooked once and saw all the work involved.

Of course the males hollered about going out. It cut into their do nothing time and then football time. Waa. Now it's the norm and no one thinks any different. The best part my ds buys my dinner.

Cooking and hosting sounds wonderful but in reality it's a big pain in the a$$.

I do make a couple pies and desserts (ahead of time) to have later with coffee. Perfect.

Oh, it's timed so no football is missed. lol

[TDN]

I like hosting though I am not this year. I do most everything the day before including last year cooking the turkey! Check out heavenly homemakers blog for reheating the already carved turkey, everyone thought it was great and moister this way. I do the mashed potatoes ahead, the recipe that calls for cream cheese, usually do the garlic variety. The stuffing is all prepped and in a casserole to cook just before. Rolls are made a week or two before and frozen until the morning of. Pumpkin pie made the night before. If it is hubbys family I do canned gravy if mine my mom makes it cause my family is picky. Sometimes I do a green salad. Everyone else brings the other sides....whatever they want I don't care. I used to get all fancy but now do a simpler but fall inspired table scape and I use chinet dinner plates sometimes now to make it easier and cute disposable dessert plates. Real silverware though. Hubby carves the turkey and usually helps with clean up though I don't mind doing cleanup because the way I do it there isn't much to clean up! The older I get the more I simplify....and realize we don't need 100 side dishes....the basics are what people are really after on Turkey day.

[mauimagic]

Love all these great ideas. I shudder when I think of all the work my DGM created with from scratch everything - and I also remember those holidays fondly with everyone getting together. Simpler is better inmy opinion!

[Rosebudget1]

I did all the cooking but DH would help me set up and he did the clean up so I had time to visit with everyone. This year my DD will be hosting Thanksgiving at her house! I am making a pie! Looking forward to the next generation doing all the cooking!

[lisaflex]

definitely do anyting and everything you can in advance!

that's how its done here. all in advance. anyway, imho, who wants to come to someone elses house on a holiday or sunday or whatever when tere kitchen is a mess and they are mashing potatoes??? not me.

definitely make the mashed potatoes a day or two in advance. same with stuffing. make sure on the day to take them out a few hrs prior so they are room temp.

good luck to you