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Thread: Dear Ladies

  1. #1

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    Smile Dear Ladies

    I hope you do not mind me joining in here. I am not 40 yet, still 2 years to go but I am having a .. well not a problem I just feel strange.
    I mean, I look around and all my neighbors are either almost elderly, or 20 somethings. I am 38, I have 2 teenage sons, and I just feel like I do not fit in any place.
    Does that make any sense?
    I feel like I should be an older person, but I also feel younger. I guess its like a preteen, your not a little kid anymore but the teens do not want you yet either.
    I do not have grey hair yet, my skin still looks young, although it does get dry faster than it used to. I do have minor arthritis pain, its genetic and I expect it. (My neice developed hers at age 10 in her knees and eyes)
    I feel so antsy, like I am waiting for something to happen, but I do not want to miss what is happening. I just cannot feel settled no matter what i do at any given time.
    Its so hard to describe!
    Does anyone have a clue what I mean?
    Help!

  2. #2
    Registered User captclearance's Avatar
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    NO GREY HAIR OR WRINKLES !!!!!!!! Well I guess you can be here anyway...LOL.... As long as you don't rub it in.......

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    Spendthrift Guru aka KarlaBob Karla's Avatar
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    Yes I understand what you are going thru MJsLady, I think we have all been there before, some of us myself included are still there. This month will be 42, my youngest is almost 16, I found when I worked (I quit 2 1/2 yrs ago) I didn't fit in I was no longer in that age group everyone else was, How it happened I'll never know but I passed them. Now i'm dealing with a lot of body changes as well as emotional changes and most the time not sure whats happening there. But if you want you can claim some of my grey hair and wrinkles.....I'll share.....

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    LOL no, I will get my own in time!
    My kids are another area I feel so odd in. My oldest is 17, his brother 15. (I married at 19 had the first at 21)
    Its ncie to know I am not alone though.
    I feel so ansty all hte time sitting still and concentrating seem beyond my capabilities lately.

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    You can join us any time, just don't remind us you have no wrinkles or grey hair.

    My hair isn't grey, its -- never mind what color it is.

    My wrinkles are from laughter -- I hope. At least the ones on my face are. The other wrinkles, well you don't need to know.


    I think we all get antsy at different times in our lives. When that happens to me, I look at things I want to do before I get over the hill and then try doing one thing. I didn't start quilting until I was 41 but it was something I wanted to learn. Start looking at something you've dreamt of doing (quilting ) and then learn how to do it. I'm using quilting because its my passion, but there are so many things to learn before you get so old you can't remember what you want to learn.

    I think we all go through it, it just happens at different stages of our lives!!

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    Spendthrift Guru aka KarlaBob Karla's Avatar
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    Homestead Mamma gives great advice, and I also believe as our kids become adults or older things start to really hit us, my oldest is 22, then 19, then 15 and I notice changes in me. I think I might have to learn something new...remember we are never to old to learn..

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    It is a different stage alright! some fun things. Like when I turned 40 or around there, I stopped caring so much what other people thought and I started having a lot more fun.

    Then there is the perimenopausal memory thing, can't remember what it's called

    ahem, perimentalpause maybe????

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    LOL dozy! I never have cared what folks thought of me (its why I am considered a witch). I was actually voted as a class leader in HS cuz I went my own way!
    I have noticed. umm what i think are hormonal things, mostly i get really irritated by dh being..... stupid!

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    OK, here's a rant to add to this! WHY are DHs always "too tired" for "fun" (you know the kind I mean) ? Mine went to bed at 10:20, yawning, saying, "Maybe tomorrow night." TOMORROW NIGHT????????? I have always been more interested than him, but now that my hormones are revved up, his are apparently shutting down! Am I being a or is this justified? Snarrrrl...

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    Oh boy! Think about being 40 and pregnant! I had a real hard time after dd was born. Having to start over with the baby thing and all! Ds is half grown and pretty independent! There goes my freedom, I thought. No more taking off in the middle of the day to goof off or whatever, having to maintain a schedule again.... I'll be 58 when my youngest graduates high school. That still bothers me, "How nice of your grandparents to host your Open House!" What if I don't live long enough to see my grandkids grow up? That would break my heart. My dad died at 66. He's going to have 2 grandbabies he never met, and no grandpa for these 2 either. Mom's got a mild dementia, and dh's parents are almost 70.... I'm depressing myself again I'll be OK, pregnancy hormones

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    FV Buddy aka KathiBob KathiS's Avatar
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    I think some of what you are going through has something to do with menopause. I find I can't concentrate on anything these days. My three-year-old granddaughter and I have about the same attention span! I also think it does have to do with being at the beginning of a new phase in your life. As your children get older, you have to redefine you role in life. I married really young and had my first child at an early age as well. It was kind of strange because most of my friends still had teenagers when my children were already grown and out of the house. It takes time to find new purpose to your life. Every phase in my life, so far, has had some wonderful opportunities. Yours will too. Just takes some time to get used to.

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    Lori, my dh doesn't have that problem. I almost wish he did!
    With mine, he waits until I am super busy then wants to have fun!
    He knows with my limited mind span and energy that if i stop what i am doing, it won't get done! My best bet is to do my stuff when he's gone, but since that is at night, and I am just home from work, I am tired then too!
    If by chance he is gone during daylight, I clean like mad and then he gets "funny" when he gets home, after I am ready to crash!
    UGH! and he wonders why I say there wont be a 2nd if something happens to him!

  14. #13
    Spendthrift Guru aka KarlaBob Karla's Avatar
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    Aw ladies, I thought I was going crazy here I am almost 42 and going thru hormonal overdrive. Now anyone figure out how to make him go thru it with me?

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    (sung to We're Off to See the Wizard)

    Ohhhh, we're off to see the adult store,
    the wonderful store for allll!
    Etc....

    No, I don't go to those stores, but I am tempted when I go through this! My DH doesn't care for lingerie, so that's out. Maybe Spanish Fly, purchased (of course) in bulk! ROFLMAO!!!

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    Registered User i.m.cheap's Avatar
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    My way of coping with the empty nest syndrome was to have another baby!

    Deb (mom of a 6 year old, and a 24 year old, grandma to 2 boys)

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