The Sandwich Generation - Argh! The Bread!

**daughter of pearl** · 08-22-2008, 10:46 PM

So sorry to do this but please let me rant for just a bit...

Tonight I went to may father's house where my ds26 is also living (2 extremely stubborn men!!)...so I arrived with a dvd that I had talked to my dad about (related to his growing up years in Liverpool, UK) and some food goodies for him from a local fresh food market...before I arrived, I went for an early dinner with a friend from work who is leaving for another job...we have a back-and-forth thing with going out and this was her turn (the whole thing cost me $5.00)...get to my dad's and he is cold-shouldering me for a solid hour because apparently I am frivolously spending money on going out (I'm guessing this is what his issue was 'cos he wouldn't actually tell me words)...my son is there and keeps saying "Don.t put me in the middle of this" as though there is some gigantic deal...anyhow I stay for about an hour and then leave because me dad has said a total of about 5 words to me, and my son is cautious about speaking to me...the bloody bullies...anyhow I am at home now and have switched my phone off...I am completely sick of their bs...they are the only 2 family members I have in North America and I am soooo over both of them right now!!!!

Thanks for listening...trying to calm down in Canada,
Janet

**dcompton** · 08-22-2008, 11:50 PM

I would be very annoyed too, to be treated that way when you were trying to do something nice for them. They're both adults -- well, at least chronologically adults. I wouldn't go out of my way to drop off any goodie baskets for while!

**ladykemma2** · 08-23-2008, 09:38 AM

Originally Posted by daughter of pearl

I went for an early dinner with a friend from work who is leaving for another job...we have a back-and-forth thing with going out and this was her turn (the whole thing cost me $5.00)...get to my dad's and he is cold-shouldering me for a solid hour because apparently I am frivolously spending money on going out
Janet

wow...wow. from a debtor's anonymous perspective-- be on the lookout for an uncontrollable urge to go shopping or compulsive debting, which may strike anytime in the next two weeks (psychological "jet lag") your inner kid has been abused by a scary, shaming father and she may retaliate or act out. might want to treat her to an ice cream or something. sit her on the chair and tell her she doesn't have to listen to the mean, nasty man and that she's OK.

forewarned is forearmed.

**elphie** · 08-23-2008, 10:32 AM

Wow, an hour is way more than I'd have stayed... and I'd have taken my goodies with me when I left!

I am just wondering why your dad has chosen to make it his business how you spend your money? And is his being unreasonable about such things causing ds to be afraid to disagree with him for some reason? (such as being kicked out) Being old (or young in ds's case) is not a free pass for being nosy and rude... and I would speak and say as much.

**daughter of pearl** · 08-23-2008, 01:10 PM

Holy crap, is that ever accurate!! I have been my self all day about how happy a shopping trip would make me, and how it would be nice just cut into a bit of the savings...argh!!

**EmilyD** · 08-23-2008, 02:56 PM

Horrible way to be treated.

I agree ... I wouldn't be taking any trips their way or answering any phone calls for quite a while.

**angelbumpkin** · 08-23-2008, 11:09 PM

Horrible way to be treated. Just remember its your money and you can spend it as you please.

**rosey7415** · 08-24-2008, 04:20 AM

do yourself a favor. lay low for a while and take care of yourself. pamper YOU! (there are many cheap ways to do this.) take a physical and mental vacation from them. it will eventually blow over.

i hope that helps....that is what works for me!

**Clutterbug Jen** · 08-24-2008, 11:03 PM

Just dropping by with some ((Hugs)) for ya.

**Texasgirl** · 08-27-2008, 09:28 PM

What difference is it to them if you spend your own money on something for yourself?

Must be the males time of month.

**Droppedonmyhead** · 08-29-2008, 11:44 AM

Sounds to me like they were having their "monthlys". . lol. It will blow over (no doubt) if it hasn't already.

**peanut** · 08-30-2008, 07:12 PM

They're upset over you spending $5?! Oh come on... Get a grip. You're all adults. You can do what you want...within reason. I'd be pouring myself a nice bath by candlelight with chocolate or yummy dessert that is on my diet (yep, gotta have dessert even on diets), with soothing music. Maybe even treat myself to a homegrown paraffin spa for my feet and hands, followed by a homegrown manicure and pedicure. To "you know where" with the boys... We women have to have our little luxuries to make us feel nurtured. We nurture others so much, we forget about nurturing ourselves. Find a frugal luxury or two and do it!

{{{Hugs}}}

Jean

**madhen** · 08-30-2008, 07:47 PM

Isn't family wonderful? My mother's first question is always, "How much did it cost?" There is frugal and then there is stingy.

**cissylu** · 08-30-2008, 07:47 PM

wow that was wrong. the rude cold shoulder. First off it`s none of there business. If there going to be that way ,I wouldn`t tell them.
treat your self special. and yes I`d lay low for awhile also.