What do you DO when the kids leave??
Page 1 of 4 1234 LastLast
Results 1 to 15 of 50
  1. #1
    Registered User Thevail's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2009
    Location
    Bellingham, WA
    Posts
    1,147
    Post Thanks / WTG / Hug
    Blog Entries
    10
    Rep Power
    23

    Default What do you DO when the kids leave??

    I know this question may sound simple minded, but honestly..DH and I have always had a kid, literally since we got married.

    Our lives, our schedules, our meal planning, our shopping, our vacations, our daily routine..all revolve around our child. I don't regret it for a minute, she's turning out to be a wonderful person, but..

    I don't think either DH or I have any kind of life that doesn't absolutely revolve around her..

    So what on earth do people actually DO when you're not organizing everything around the kids, and the kid's friends, and the kid's activities anymore?
    Last edited by Thevail; 03-16-2009 at 05:15 PM.

  2. #2
    Registered User redeme's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2009
    Location
    WA
    Posts
    419
    Post Thanks / WTG / Hug
    Rep Power
    14

    Default

    I'm not sure. My youngest DD18 is probably off to college this fall and I'm going to find out then. I'm hoping for more time to complete some things I'd like to do. It's hard to imagine really, the impact until they are gone.

  3. #3
    Registered User Thevail's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2009
    Location
    Bellingham, WA
    Posts
    1,147
    Post Thanks / WTG / Hug
    Blog Entries
    10
    Rep Power
    23

    Default

    I keep thinking about how much LESS time everything is going to take..

    I mean less laundry, less shopping, less dentist/doctor appointments, less mess to clean up.

    That's a lot of extra time to fill. I worry that I'll get bored and start shopping for fun, or picking up expensive hobbies just to have something to do..

  4. Remove Advertisements
    FrugalVillage.com
    Advertisements
     

  5. #4
    Banned
    Join Date
    Dec 2008
    Location
    E.Panhandle of WV
    Posts
    952
    Post Thanks / WTG / Hug
    Rep Power
    19

    Default

    what do you DO? well.....you date again!! *wink* *wink* LOL you get to know each other ALL over again. you go on dates and do things that you like to do. You participate in each others hobbies and not somebody elses ( kids). It's fun! The #1 requirement I had for a guy to marry him, was the fact that I'd like to just hang out with him. My hubby fits that bill. I LIKE him. And love him even more after 29yrs of marriage.
    Have fun!!

  6. #5

    Join Date
    Sep 2008
    Posts
    48
    Post Thanks / WTG / Hug
    Rep Power
    0

    Default what to do when kids move out

    I dont know but I am already feeling this and my daughter had 1 year of high school. She is gone all the time now. She works, has friends, is in a bunch of school groups, has a boyfriend so me and DH are left here alone. I mean it was nice at first but you know THAT does not take up that much time as she is gone (hee hee). Also, her friends opinions mean more to her than ours so she asks them things. We are really close but it is different now. I remember the days driving her around to a million things and now she is of driving age and all her friends drive. We are planning to just take off during many weekends and fly to Florida. DH is doing that alone in May but in a year I will be able to go too. Yes it is nice to see them grow up so responsible but sad at the same time. Nice to hear I am not the only one thinking about this. I mean, I still get sad walking through a toy isle because I remember getting them their xmas gifts and how happy they were on xmas morning.

  7. #6
    Registered User joyofsix's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2005
    Location
    IN
    Age
    58
    Posts
    2,018
    Post Thanks / WTG / Hug
    Rep Power
    27

    Default

    My mind boggles. I'll probably have to volunteer or work or something.

  8. #7
    Registered User
    Join Date
    Mar 2002
    Location
    No. California
    Age
    58
    Posts
    388
    Post Thanks / WTG / Hug
    Rep Power
    20

    Default

    First, you will be amazed at all the time you have. My dd is married and lives about an hour away. My ds is 21 next month and still lives at home, but we don't see him a whole lot. He's basically on his own. So, what do dh and I do?

    We eat all of our meals together. It's different than eating with the whole family. Something about just the two of you sharing a meal........

    We run all of our errands together. Whether it's going to the hardware or auto store for a part, grocery shopping, getting gas in the car, big things, little things, we do them together.......

    We take our dogs for a walk. We stroll along and chat about whatever there is to chat about at the moment.

    We plan our vacations, and then take them! Living in California we spend a lot of time at the ocean.

    We talk a LOT more than we ever used to.

    He has hobbies, I have hobbies, we combine our hobbies. He wants to go fishing? I pack up a quilt project I'm working on and go with him. He fishes, I quilt. We're out in the fresh air, we're together and we're both enjoying ourselves.

    You will find TONS of things to do together, you will fall in love all over again, you will enjoy each others company more than you ever have.

  9. #8
    Registered User Early Bird's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2004
    Posts
    2,679
    Post Thanks / WTG / Hug
    Blog Entries
    22
    Rep Power
    22

    Default

    We were married for 9 years before we had kids. Those were terrific years; and I anticipate having more terrific years after the kids move out.

  10. #9
    Registered User
    Join Date
    Jul 2002
    Posts
    23,290
    Post Thanks / WTG / Hug
    Blog Entries
    15
    Rep Power
    49

    Default

    -I plan on having way more uninterrupted s*x

    -we pan on travelling

    -we'll be able to hear each other talk

    -we won't have to stand in line for the bathroom

    Although I can't imagine them not being here, I think I'm going to enjoy it somewhat. We've had kids for 41 years.

  11. #10
    pip
    pip is offline
    Registered User pip's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2002
    Location
    U.S.A.
    Posts
    3,281
    Post Thanks / WTG / Hug
    Rep Power
    23

    Default

    I can't even imagine. I do hope that dh and I can get close again and enjoy each others company. My second is off to college in the fall, my oldest is already in college and living in a house with other friends. That leaves my soon to be 15 year old, who starts high school this fall. I started a part time job this winter, and I think that will be a good thing as the kids start to move on. I don't have many hobbies other than kids these days, and I feel like I have let many friendships go by the wayside, too. I like to think that I can finally clean out and organize my house, maybe try some scrap-booking. Might be nice to get away with my dh once in awhile, too.

  12. #11
    Registered User pop goes the weasel's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2008
    Location
    Pa
    Posts
    557
    Post Thanks / WTG / Hug
    Rep Power
    14

    Default

    Enjot the solitude

  13. #12
    Super Moderator Spirit Deer's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2009
    Location
    Boundary Waters, Minnesota
    Posts
    19,537
    Post Thanks / WTG / Hug
    Rep Power
    88

    Default

    The best thing we've found about not having kids is we no longer have to plan around their school and other activity schedules. We hate summer camping, and it's nice to be able to go in the spring and fall for a couple weeks or a month at a time.

  14. #13
    Registered User cab54's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2007
    Location
    NW Ohio
    Age
    66
    Posts
    4,367
    Post Thanks / WTG / Hug
    Rep Power
    31

    Default

    Let me preface this by saying that I really, really, REALLY enjoyed raising my 2 sons. I enjoyed the football, hockey, soccer, crew, rugby, school mandatory meetings, taking them to dances and school activities (and sports practice--always) and 6am algebra, till they could drive......it was truly a labor of love.

    BUT---now that they are grown and dh retired last year......

    We get up to our inner alarm, rather than blaring music or a loud BEEP, BEEP, BEEP!!

    We drink coffee and listen to the birds in the morning, instead of signing papers, and making breakfast, and racing around.

    We have a nice leisurely dinner that is not interrupted or very late, due to a practice or school event, and we eat what WE like.

    I knit. DH welds and putters in his garage.

    I read all the books I never had time to read--uninterrupted. I sit more. I breathe more. I am a homebody, so non-interfacing with people agrees with me.

    I quilt. I take walks. And I don't have to 'work it around' anything.

    I really enjoyed THAT part of my life (raising kids) but I enjoy this too. When the time comes for you to be childless, just try to embrace it, not fight it. Look for the GOOD parts.

  15. #14

    Join Date
    Mar 2009
    Posts
    178
    Post Thanks / WTG / Hug
    Rep Power
    0

    Default

    Ilovesewing and Cab54 said everything I would have said, only better.

    Once we were done paying for college tuitions and helped with wedding expenses, we enjoyed the money that was ours then to keep.

    We learned to live for ourselves as well as for them.

    We shared in their accomplishments and triumphs just as before.

    We learned to share the mantle of worry with their respective spouses once they were married. I tried to pass it off totally, but that doesn't happen. I still worry about them, no matter how old they are.

    We enjoy and spoil the heck out of the grandchildren.

    I married my best friend. We became parents and grandparents together. After all that, we are still best friends and lovers, ending up the way we started out. It took us very little time to get used to that.

  16. #15
    Registered User Thevail's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2009
    Location
    Bellingham, WA
    Posts
    1,147
    Post Thanks / WTG / Hug
    Blog Entries
    10
    Rep Power
    23

    Default

    DH and I have a great relationship, we were friends for years before we even started dating.

    I'm glad to hear all the positive sides of the days to come. You read so much about people who end up divorced, or miserable after the kids are gone. It's scary.

Page 1 of 4 1234 LastLast

Similar Threads

  1. I will never leave again!
    By VanVivCam in forum General Chat
    Replies: 19
    Last Post: 06-03-2011, 12:18 AM
  2. Do you ever have to leave FV...
    By Thevail in forum General Chat
    Replies: 22
    Last Post: 03-27-2009, 07:41 PM
  3. What do your kids leave out for Santa?
    By Scattymum in forum Holidays-Special Occasions-Celebrations
    Replies: 7
    Last Post: 12-16-2005, 01:03 AM
  4. Leave me alone!!!
    By voodidit in forum Pets
    Replies: 14
    Last Post: 01-06-2004, 07:22 PM
  5. Where do you leave yourself notes
    By paelthom in forum General Chat
    Replies: 11
    Last Post: 10-25-2003, 08:48 PM

Tags for this Thread

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •