would you send a gift?
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  1. #1
    Registered User Contrary Housewife's Avatar
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    Default would you send a gift?

    I found out yesterday that my ex boyfriend is getting married to an old friend. Am I out of place sending a wedding gift?

    The ex and I were together 5 years and when he didn't propose I moved on. We parted on amicable, if strained terms. He wasn't happy, but then he'd had his chance and then some. I've seen him a couple times since I married (12 years ago)but he has stayed understandably distant.

    The friend I don't see much any more since she moved out of state, maybe once a year.

    The 3 of us are on a mailing list of college buddies, which is how I found out about it. I sent a congratulatory email. I don't expect to be invited to the ceremony, but I do wish them well. I would like to send a gift (probably a gift card, as they are both adult householders) but I am wondering if I should just butt out.

    What would you do?
    Stop trying to organize all of your family’s crap. If organization worked for you, you’d have rocked it by now. It’s time to ditch stuff and de-crapify your world.

    If you're not using the stuff in your home, get rid of it. You're not going to start using it more by shoving it into a closet.

    Use it up, Wear it out,
    Make it do, Or do without. ~unknown

    Because we, the people, have the power to build a better future. KH

  2. #2
    Master Dollar Stretcher madhen's Avatar
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    If they didn't respond to the email, I'd leave it alone. If they did, I'd probably send a card only. If they invite you to the wedding, THEN I'd send a gift.
    DH aka Mad Hen
    (http://mad-hen-creations.blogspot.com/)

    Every time you spend money, you're casting a vote for the kind of world you want. Anna Lappe

  3. #3
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    no, absolutely not.

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  5. #4
    Registered User BlissMommy's Avatar
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    No, I wouldn't. It feels a bit intrusive to me.

  6. #5
    Registered User T8er St8er's Avatar
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    If my EX sent a wedding gift when I got re-married my current wife would have probably "accidentally" dropped it. I wouldn't recommend sending a gift. JMHO

  7. #6
    Registered User Contrary Housewife's Avatar
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    Ok, thanks for the reality check. I guess I will butt out.
    Stop trying to organize all of your family’s crap. If organization worked for you, you’d have rocked it by now. It’s time to ditch stuff and de-crapify your world.

    If you're not using the stuff in your home, get rid of it. You're not going to start using it more by shoving it into a closet.

    Use it up, Wear it out,
    Make it do, Or do without. ~unknown

    Because we, the people, have the power to build a better future. KH

  8. #7
    Super Moderator Spirit Deer's Avatar
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    I wouldn't.

  9. #8
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    I would take the $$ you'd spend & go out to dinner or lunch with my DH and have a great time. Let the past stay the past.

  10. #9
    Registered User The Muse's Avatar
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    Unless I was invited to the wedding, I wouldn't send a gift.

  11. #10
    Registered User nodmicks's Avatar
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    I wouldn't unless they invited me to the wedding.

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    I wouldn't send a gift (since it seems too intrusive) but I don't think sending a card to "Mr and Mrs X" after the wedding saying congratulations would be out of line.

  13. #12
    Registered User TigerGirl1226's Avatar
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    I think the email was enough. Not that a gift would be intrusive, but I just don't feel it's necessary.

  14. #13
    Registered User Libby's Avatar
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    You've already sent a congratulatory email. I'd leave it at that. If you really feel compelled to send something, a card would be it. No gift card, no gift. Just a card.

    The stars clearly show you're not meant to be 'friends' (right now?) otherwise you'd all be reaching out and in touch with each other directly. (no offense)

  15. #14
    Registered User ellebee's Avatar
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    No I wouldn't unless invited to wedding.

  16. #15
    Registered User Megareader's Avatar
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    I'm with everyone else, I'd skip the gift.

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