When my friend had her second (her first was 14 when she had #2), she had an unexpected c-section and she had some complications from it (something to do with the epidural). She was down for about a month to six weeks (like could barely get up to go to the bathroom sort of down,something to do with her back). Her mom had came to help out for a few weeks when the baby was born. Since she had so many problems, her mom stayed for like two months (or more).
One of the things that totally impressed me was that her mom asked her if she could change the baby's diaper. Everyone knew it was ok because there was no way my friend was going to be able to, but still, her mom asked if it was ok. And, her mom would ask how she wanted things done. I was so totally flabbergasted! She actually asked how my friend wanted things done.
My family would do things how they thought was best, even if I had determined that I didn't want it done that way or that it needed to be my way for some reason. Like to the point that I told them not to give my guys soda pop or candy (except one or two pieces of chocolate - Grandma has to "sneak" them some sort of treats, right?) and my family would anyway. My guys were on a special diet (technically a "modified Feingold"). The dyes, corn syrup, and preservatives caused my guys to misbehave and be massively bratty. One son is diagnosed as ADHD except he isn't when he is on diet. The other two don't have such extreme reactions, but they did behave better on diet. And, you know, I couldn't put one child on a special "no fun" diet and not have the other two on it especially since my guys are so close in age and the one with "ADHD" is one of the twins.
Geesh, my family even repeatedly told me, even after the twin was tested by the professionals and they had put him in special speech and OT classes, that he just didn't want to talk and that he would eventually. He was non-verbal at 3 (said "wowwee", "mmmm" which meant "you adult person", and would point and grunt). He has a central processing disorder.
Sorry this turned into a vent, I didn't mean it to. But, my friend's mom is how I want to be as a Grandma. And, my family definately serves as a "don't do this" example.