First Grand child on the way
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  1. #1
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    Default First Grand child on the way

    Hello everyone.. Looking for some advice i guess..lol not really sure, My daughter is having her first child in just a few weeks. Im so excided.. Her and her husband are both living with us as they begin their new journey.. I can see myself trying to do to much.. how to be " just the grandpartent" thats my question :-)

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    Registered User 3tomboys's Avatar
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    I don't have any advise, but just wanted to say contests.

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    Registered User 3tomboys's Avatar
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    That was suppose to be congratulations!

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    Registered User piney's Avatar
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    on the first grandchild.

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    Registered User pinetree's Avatar
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    Congratulations!

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    Registered User Trishagirl's Avatar
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    Congrats & enjoy the blessing!

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    Registered User Frugal Nurse's Avatar
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    Congrats!!

    Well.. today DD2 and her baby (12 months) move out after being here since conception. I am so sad.

    But being a grandparent comes naturally, just like being a parent. You will still be the mother of your daughter and she will look to you for baby advice, but do not give advice unless asked. Word things like this - 'when you were that age, I found it helpful to do this" rather than saying.. 'you should do this"

    Then retreat to your room frequently to give the young parents some alone time to bond with the baby and deal with the little nuances of babyhood.

    Offer yourself to be available for babysitting, but set limits. "I can babysit 3 nights per week, but I need at least 3 to myself" gives daughter guidance and help.

    Love that baby as much as you can. Enjoy every blessed moment because they are fleeting moments in the sense of a lifetime.

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    Thank you so much, This was great advice!
    Quote Originally Posted by Frugal Nurse View Post
    Congrats!!

    Well.. today DD2 and her baby (12 months) move out after being here since conception. I am so sad.

    But being a grandparent comes naturally, just like being a parent. You will still be the mother of your daughter and she will look to you for baby advice, but do not give advice unless asked. Word things like this - 'when you were that age, I found it helpful to do this" rather than saying.. 'you should do this"

    Then retreat to your room frequently to give the young parents some alone time to bond with the baby and deal with the little nuances of babyhood.

    Offer yourself to be available for babysitting, but set limits. "I can babysit 3 nights per week, but I need at least 3 to myself" gives daughter guidance and help.

    Love that baby as much as you can. Enjoy every blessed moment because they are fleeting moments in the sense of a lifetime.

  10. #9
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    Congratulations! A new mom can always use help. It is brand new for her and she is experiencing all these wonderful things with her little one for the first time. It is very precious to her. Offer to help do whatever she needs. Realize that she may want to do most of it on her own at first. Be patient and when she is really tired and overwhelmed she will let you help her out. Remember what it was like for you with your first baby!

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    Registered User krbshappy71's Avatar
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    My grandbaby lived with me for the first six months. I tried to help in ways that gave them baby-time. Dishes, cleaning up, and also offering to watch the baby so they could go out as a couple. I picked up things like formula on sale for them and cute outfits but tried very hard not to take over and buy everything the baby could possibly need because there's fun in that as a new parent as well so let them enjoy that part of it. I would also "retire to bed" at around 8 p.m so they had the main part of the house to themselves with the tv, kitchen, etc. without me sitting on the sofa with them all the time. I also made sure that I still went out with my friends so they had the house completely to themselves for chunks of time, telling them the nights I'd be popping out. I felt this helped us all to know a general schedule of when I would be available/around.

    Be careful with the advice, I tried to phrase things as if I was "wondering" them myself instead of dictating. "Hm, she's still fussy, dirty diaper maybe?" instead of "DEAR GOD CAN'T YOU SMELL THAT?? DUH!" HA! No really you'd be surprised how naive new parents are and I know I was so clueless with my first baby but you don't want someone rattling off to you like they're an expert. (even though us grannies are!) Don't be afraid to say something, just try to be gentle, new moms are sooooo sensitive!
    Ok I'll stop now, I could go on forever, they lived with me for 6 months and now we are on opposite coasts so I miss the baby sooo much and relish in the memories. IT WAS SO FUN!! ENJOY!! Lots of snuggles and rocking chair moments are in store for you.

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    Registered User frugalfranny's Avatar
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    CONGRATS.................enjoy.............just remember, you are ONLY the grandparent..........not the parent, and they need this learning time and experience.

    You get the good part..................spoil the kid, then hand/send it back to them!!!

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    Registered User cab54's Avatar
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    Congratulations!

    (and......I'm so jealous! Heehee!)

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    Registered User zakity's Avatar
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    When my friend had her second (her first was 14 when she had #2), she had an unexpected c-section and she had some complications from it (something to do with the epidural). She was down for about a month to six weeks (like could barely get up to go to the bathroom sort of down,something to do with her back). Her mom had came to help out for a few weeks when the baby was born. Since she had so many problems, her mom stayed for like two months (or more).

    One of the things that totally impressed me was that her mom asked her if she could change the baby's diaper. Everyone knew it was ok because there was no way my friend was going to be able to, but still, her mom asked if it was ok. And, her mom would ask how she wanted things done. I was so totally flabbergasted! She actually asked how my friend wanted things done.

    My family would do things how they thought was best, even if I had determined that I didn't want it done that way or that it needed to be my way for some reason. Like to the point that I told them not to give my guys soda pop or candy (except one or two pieces of chocolate - Grandma has to "sneak" them some sort of treats, right?) and my family would anyway. My guys were on a special diet (technically a "modified Feingold"). The dyes, corn syrup, and preservatives caused my guys to misbehave and be massively bratty. One son is diagnosed as ADHD except he isn't when he is on diet. The other two don't have such extreme reactions, but they did behave better on diet. And, you know, I couldn't put one child on a special "no fun" diet and not have the other two on it especially since my guys are so close in age and the one with "ADHD" is one of the twins.

    Geesh, my family even repeatedly told me, even after the twin was tested by the professionals and they had put him in special speech and OT classes, that he just didn't want to talk and that he would eventually. He was non-verbal at 3 (said "wowwee", "mmmm" which meant "you adult person", and would point and grunt). He has a central processing disorder.

    Sorry this turned into a vent, I didn't mean it to. But, my friend's mom is how I want to be as a Grandma. And, my family definately serves as a "don't do this" example.

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