Living comfortably
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  1. #1
    Registered User ScrapStitching's Avatar
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    Red face Living comfortably

    No, not talking about money. I'm talking relationship/lifestyle.

    Short story - husband and I were married 25 years, then divorced for 4, remarried, and have been married 14 years now. We're not going anywhere. All expectations were already known when we remarried.

    We spend dinner together, watch the news together, and go out together once in a while. We're pretty much into being homebodies, so it takes dynamite to get us to go out after work is done and the evening comes.

    Last night, he said to me, "How did we get lucky enough to be this comfortable together?" He's 64, I just turned 59, and we're thinking about the future. Both of us still work. Our house is paid off. We have three great kids and one great dog. We live very simply and have all we need. And we talk to each other (that's what killed our marriage the first time - non-communication). We sit out on the deck and laugh at hummingbirds together.

    I am very happy to know that he's as aware of our comfortableness as I am. I wish that for everyone zipping into or through their 60s+

  2. #2
    Registered User Zoolook's Avatar
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    Very inspiring - it's so nice to share the journey!

  3. #3
    Registered User larabelle's Avatar
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    How wonderful!!
    Blessed and Highly Favored!!!!
    From $78K in debt to debt free and purchased a house and used car with 100% cash...God is sooo Good!!!

    Goals:
    New to me vehicle

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  5. #4
    Registered User photogal06's Avatar
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    Aw, that totally put a smile on my face this morning

    Thanks for sharing!

  6. #5
    Super Moderator Spirit Deer's Avatar
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    I know exactly what you mean. We've had similar experiences, minus the divorce, and our kids are estranged. But I don't know how we could be more comfortable with each other after 39 years of marriage. We're looking at retirement and planning for the future, too.

    Sometimes you just get lucky, and IMO, the most important way to get lucky, assuming you want to be with someone at all, is to be lucky in choosing the right life partner.

  7. #6
    Registered User SallyC's Avatar
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    Did you get married at 16 or is my math messed up?

    In any case, Way To Go!!!!!

  8. #7
    Registered User ScrapStitching's Avatar
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    I got married at 17 in 1972. He robbed the cradle. There are long stories behind the why, but it was the right thing to do. In 1972, I was going to join the army; army nurses went straight to Vietnam and I was a wimp about it. (Looking back, I think it might have been a wonderful career starter and I could have done some good for our troops.) My parents couldn't afford college. I already knew that. I came from a fairly odd background and when we found one another, we decided to eek out a life as best we could. There's no surprise that we separated and divorced; the surprise for us was reconnecting

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    Registered User SallyC's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by ScrapStitching View Post
    when we found one another, we decided to eek out a life as best we could.
    I just love the thought of two people doing their best to start a life together despite the difficulties. So lovely!

    Respectfully,

    Sally

  10. #9
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    I think that it is wonderful that you we able to re-connect and make it work the second time round. Awesome job going out to you both!

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    Registered User KathyB's Avatar
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    I overhear so many things about people complaining about their husband or wife, this is really refreshing to hear.

    I get along great with my husband my husband. We have been together 28 years.

    I think that the people who are unhappy tend to go on about it. The people with happy marriages tend not to talk about it as much.

    Maybe we should be more vocal. But it somehow seems rude or insensitive to bring it up when someone is being critical of their husband. “Your husband won’t pick up his socks. How sad. My husband does the laundry and he bakes chocolate cake for me.” But why is it not rude or insensitive to tell other people about bad things about your spouse?
    KathyB

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    Wonderful story.

  13. #12
    Hard Rock Mama NYC Girl's Avatar
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    I know what you mean. My husband and I just celebrated 22 years!

  14. #13
    Registered User FrugalMomof3's Avatar
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    I know what you mean as well. My hubby and I have been together 25 years, married for 18 and we've had our ups and downs where we split for a little and that's when we realized that we both needed each other in our lives, everything changed and now we live comfortably as you put it, we don't hide secrets, we tell each other everything no matter how nervous we are and I feel like you it has brought us closer.

    Sometimes, the key to a happy and "comfortable" relationship is communication (and trust), it may be hard because well, sometimes our significant other doesn't get our point of view or like the things we do but it goes both ways, just being supportive and listening makes a big world of difference.

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