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  1. #16
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    That was my thinking Kathy, and what I pitched to DH for the bungalow option, but he is hesitant. He really is concerned we won't have the money to hire people. His income drops 40% when he retires, but then his expenses drop 39% (work deductions etc.), so we will see a net drop of 1% in income, which will be more than made up by my inheritance, the boarder, and any income we produce otherwise. The inheritance isn't much, but it will top up income the first few years. But actually, the boarder is what makes the difference. Her rent will pay our income taxes every year. I actually think we're going to be better off in retirement than we are now, especially if we continue to house boarders. But DH is worried.

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    Quote Originally Posted by peanut View Post
    He really is concerned we won't have the money to hire people. .
    I drove myself nuts trying to work full time, raise two kids as a single mom and keep up with housework. I never in a million years thought I'd pay for help. I quickly realized in the Northeast, shoveling out with no one to help you really stinks and it hurt my back a lot. So I looked around town at places with bulletin boards where people would advertise what they do. Found a very reasonable snow plow guy, way cheaper than the guy many of my town house neighbors used. In the long run, he never really came all that much that it was a financial burden. Years later, someone said something along the lines of work smarter not harder when I was saying having time for house and kids was a lot. She recommended a cleaning lady, never in my life did I ever think I would have a cleaning lady. But met her, loved her and she came every other week for $30 and did an excellent job. And knowing she was coming, I could lay down the law to the kids and myself, "Tammy is coming and she cannot clean if all this clutter is in her way." I told myself if it affected my bills too much, I would get rid of cable to keep her. Didn't need to. I gave her so many referrals, she never raised her rate, did extra things, etc. When I got my mom to see that everything in their life had landed on my dad's plate once she got worse, $60 a month was a small price to pay for the man trying to hold all of it together. She is so sweet that she now is a family friend, comes for dinner a few times a week and she provides so much comfort and solace to my mom, I can never repay her.

    so that's my 2 cents. Can you show DH a way to fit it in the budget? And maybe try someone now, before you move so he can see if he appreciates it and gets on board. It's sad to think you won't be able to get the bungalow because DH finds it too expensive to hire help. Because your other choice would be a condo, right? They mow your lawn and do other things but it comes with a hefty price tag. Could you raise the rent to make up the difference?

  3. #18
    Registered User Buckeye5's Avatar
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    I would downsize in an instant but DH would never do it, cuz of family farm he helps with, but gets zero $ from and it irritates the crud out of me.

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  5. #19
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    Lots of leases and HOA do state no businesses can be run from their housing. However, I found no problems working around this as long as few clients visited the house. We used Starbucks or libraries for meetings. If you try hair salon, for example, this will usually get you fined for violating code because of all the extra cars parked there...In home daycare has a little more flexibility as long as you know your state's rules well. Dog breeding is a business that is also banned in lots of areas due to noise.

    I do like the twin homes with HOA-provided yard work. Only problem I saw was owning 1/2 of a building you could not maintain yourself can be a disaster. A friend's family bought a twin home and it started to show some severe settling and cracks on walls so badly you could not shut the doors. You know it would be almost impossible to get this fixed unless you could sue the builder because the other side of the unit never kept resident for even 2 years...

    Condo on ground level can be nice if you choose a senior's community which does start at age 55 sometimes. Some church charities in my area are running all kinds of projects to benefit the communities poor - clothing sorting, rehabing furniture/appliances, fixing cars/bicycles, community garden, caring for sick senior's pets, sewing almost anything, Meals on Wheels, anything to do with area's kids...Your husband may be able to find a fulfilling retirement job even shared housing. Work at the library, travel tour guide or free classes at the university are also neat options.

    The rural sections of the state have so many 30% sliding fee apartments for seniors, you could move anywhere you want without a wait for housing. The state (Kansas) worked hard to build up senior transportation services in all counties to provide rides to doctor, senior center, groceries, pharmacy, etc. Most communities have a senior center with low-cost noon meals. Many of the thriving communities are home to hospital, all doctors you may need, dentist, eye doctor, pharmacy, grocery, gas, car repair and variety (Dollar General) store which could meet almost all your needs. You could fill in with Amazon.com or BestBuy.com whatever else you desire.

    Some of the city nursing care/assisted living places also have adjacent senior apartments with opportunities to take your meals in the dining room, use transportation to doctors appointments/shopping, assistance with cleaning and laundry. Plus emergency services are offered by nursing home staff at the touch of a button. While some of these communities are really expensive, the senior apartments right next to nursing homes tend to be reasonably priced. These senior apartment almost always have their own cooking facilities so you can cook if you wish, just store snacks or use the dining hall. Sterling House is a nice one too when you desire more care...It is assisted living with very nice little home-like setting.
    Last edited by miss_cas; 07-10-2015 at 04:14 PM.

  6. #20
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    Thanks miss-cas and Bernice. Hugs Buckeye5. DH is now (today) saying his timeline is 5 years for selling the house. I've heard that before. Five years means never. We'll see. First order of business is to downsize.

    Received an email from our financial planner today. She said she talked to another client that lives near us and who has their house on the market. They were told by the realtor to expect to wait 6 months for a sale. Nothing is moving here right now. The FP really wants us to hang onto the house until the market improves. I'll agree to that.

  7. #21
    Registered User CookieLee's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by peanut View Post

    DH has money issues. He is very insecure in that area. So my paying my friend must have bothered him ...
    I think I get that. My hubby has money issues, too.

    #1 - My hubby hates to move. One time he admitted that he was reluctant to sell our house because he truly believed the house we had was the pinnacle of all we'd ever had (it was a starter house!) We've had a couple of houses since that one but I am still reminded that what we own represents something to my husband - all the hard work he has done to provide for us.

    #2 - My hubby was raised very poor in a large family. He started working when he was 12 and didn't really stop working since then. Being able to provide for his family is a huge point of pride for him. Working and earning money is tightly tied into his sense of self-worth. We HAVE hired help around the house and he likes it because he perceives that makes life easier on me, but it also spurs him onto work harder - more hours, more overtime. If my husband was just a year or two away from retirement, I predict he'd react exactly the same way as yours.

    All I can recommend is you concentrate on building the life you and hubby envision for your retirement. That is going to take a lot of talking. What do you value the most? How do you want to spend your time? What would you like to do that you're not doing now because you're working? Your husband apparently does not envision spending his time taking care of a yard. However, I wonder if he actually enjoys the yard but doesn't want to deal with a BIG yard. So suggest an experiment. Hire a mow-and-blow guy to see if that eases hubby's pressure and frees up more time so he can do the parts of the yard he enjoys. Experiments are short term commitments. Nothing has to be a long-term, never changing decision.

  8. #22
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    How do you think your hobby activities will change in retirement? I've thought about this for myself because I keep thinking I'm somehow going to have more time in retirement, but lately I'm trying to understand why I think that. I'm home full time now and 'retirement' for me is probably going to be about the same thing as I'm doing now. In fact, when Husby is home all the time I'll probably have less time because we're known to get up in the morning with no plans to go anywhere and then suddenly find ourselves on the road for a day trip. Once he's not working, I expect it'll be the same thing only we'll wake up in the morning and decide to take off for Wyoming or somewhere we'll be gone a couple weeks or more. The only way I see myself having more time is paring down my interests and stop taking on more projects all the time, especially projects that require an ongoing time commitment, like the greenhouse we just bought that will add to the workload as long as we own and use it. (That, however, should provide a return on our investment of time/money and therefore be worth the trade-off.) The only other way I'll have more time is if we downsize and that amounts to paring down my active interests, too. So I've almost concluded the real key for me is to get rid of any hobbies I'm not actually interested in now, or have a reasonable expectation of becoming interested in, or that I could replace the needed supplies for easily and cheaply if I end up renewing an interest in it.

    All of this thinking just makes me want to purge more stuff, so I guess in my case it's a positive.

    The only way I'll have more time after his retirement is if he starts helping with the housework and cooking. He's been informed this is my expectation, because fair is fair, after all. He seems amenable to that now so maybe it'll actually happen.

    What does your husband plan to do with his time after he retires? If he'd start looking at yard work as an opportunity for light exercise, which is very important for his mental and physical health, and quit looking at it as a horrible unwanted obligation, maybe he'd feel differently about it.

  9. #23
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    Cookie Lee: Your DH and mine are similar. DH comes from a large family and loves this home because it reminds him of his grandparents' house. It's about as old too! Built in 1928 he keeps telling me the parging on the foundation is falling off because it's old, and the foundation is not in trouble. Hmm... Most of the homes here have problem basements that need to be replaced over time. But to DH, this is our ultimate home. I would agree...if it were finished inside. But the perpetual renovations, or undone renovations, drive me crazy.

    I think he is coming to terms with the yard work, now he's had a talk with the Financial Planner. He won't listen to me, but she has a way with him. I think she's starting to see the issues I have with him. She's a bit concerned about what will happen to me if he should die first. I will definitely have to sell or take in roommates if that should happen. Personally I'd sell. But that depends how old I am if that should happen. I don't want to start paying rent any sooner than I absolutely have to!

    We have been talking about our future life. He wants to write a family history book and make a trip to Denmark. I don't want to travel at all. I'm trying to convince him to go with one of his brothers. But none of them want to be hanging around while he does research. I don't blame them. Other than the book, he wants to bike a lot. I cannot bike due to health issues.

    I'm trying hard to think of interests we could share together, or things we could do together, and I am coming up blank. The truth is he is not interested in my fibre hobbies, my stamps, walking, or birding. I thought I found some things to do together, but they all cost money - cafes, movies... He doesn't like spending money.

    I'm going to see if I can get him to go to art openings. But honestly, last time I took him to one he hid behind a pillar all night avoiding me and everyone else. He occasionally wandered over to the snack table. When I asked him what he was doing, he said he was "soaking up the atmosphere". Huh? Every time I turned around to introduce him, he was gone! It was so frustrating.

    And yes, Cookie Lee, you hit the nail on the head when you said your hubby doesn't like change. Neither does mine. I had a chat with him last night before bed about him worrying himself into a kidney infection. He's done that twice in our marriage so far, and it's been major. Once on our honeymoon, and again when DD#1 got married. He doesn't handle change well. A major amount of emotional upheaval and he gets physically ill. I thoroughly expect a round of it when he retires.

    Other than bike and write a family history book, he plans to read, watch TV, and play on the computer.

  10. #24
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    Well we stopped on a whim at an open house about 3 blocks away from us. The house was about 7 years older than ours, called a 1 3/4 storey home. Ours is a full 2 storey. Is 900 sq. ft on 2 levels. Ours is 1549 sq. ft. on 2 levels. It had an unfinished basement with serious issues - heaved floor, 2x8" joists, old electrical panel... But...it was staged beautifully. A full deck with fire pit. A large 2 car garage with what looked like a small office in one corner, and a long workbench. Our garage is a tear down. They were asking $337,500 CAD for it.

    We chatted with the realtor. She was saying houses are staying on the market a long time now. Easily 6 months. The asking price is just a guess because they have to put something on the listing. Anyone making a quasi-serious offer is considered. She also said there are over 1600 units (houses/condos) on the market right now in our community. That's a lot for the size community we live in. She said there's some pretty crappy condos on the market right now.

    So I guess that confirms what the Financial Planner told us.

  11. #25
    Registered User CookieLee's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by peanut View Post
    She also said there are over 1600 units (houses/condos) on the market right now in our community. That's a lot for the size community we live in.
    We sold our last house in 2010 in a bad economy. We were surrounded by three foreclosures - literally one across the street and one next door. Everyone was telling us our house wouldn't sell for a very long time. We sold it in 3 months.

    No, we didn't get the most ideal price but we did get a good price. Had we waited to sell, we might have gotten more but we were anxious to move across country because hubby had already left for his new job. We wanted to be a family again. In short, houses taking six months to sell isn't all that bad.

    And buying a new house in a buyer's market isn't a bad idea, either. You're on a retirement budget so you want to find a great deal.

    In a buyer's market you have two types of houses: #1 - houses where the seller is desperate to sell usually because if they don't they are going to get foreclosed on; #2 - houses where the seller has to sell because they are relocating or snapping up another house on a good deal.

    You want to find the houses on the market that fall under the second category. They are out there!

    It might be worth your while to keep looking WHILE you're also decluttering and seeing how people stage their houses.

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    Quote Originally Posted by CookieLee View Post
    It might be worth your while to keep looking WHILE you're also decluttering and seeing how people stage their houses.
    Yep, that's what we're thinking! I also made a point of mentioning to DH how nice our home could look if it were finished. He grumbled a bit and asked "what's finished?" I told him refinishing the floors and putting up baseboards would be a big help. He was not happy. Oh well...

    I talked to him about some of the furniture I wanted to de-clutter eventually. I think our boarder will be moving out soon and then we can really move on some stuff. Or I can. I don't think DH is moving fast on anything!

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    Quote Originally Posted by peanut View Post
    That was my thinking Kathy, and what I pitched to DH for the bungalow option, but he is hesitant. He really is concerned we won't have the money to hire people. His income drops 40% when he retires, but then his expenses drop 39% (work deductions etc.), so we will see a net drop of 1% in income, which will be more than made up by my inheritance, the boarder, and any income we produce otherwise. The inheritance isn't much, but it will top up income the first few years. But actually, the boarder is what makes the difference. Her rent will pay our income taxes every year. I actually think we're going to be better off in retirement than we are now, especially if we continue to house boarders. But DH is worried.
    But if you move into a condo or townhome are you still going to be able to house boarders .. legally or otherwise?
    When considering also what she pays you ... without her you have a much lesser food bill and lot less utility bill. Probably other considerations in there too. But legally can you have a boarder in a condo or townhome?
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    I had the idea that they need the boarder to pay for the extra expenses because of the size of the house taxes and such, but wouldn't need a boarder if they moved to something smaller. Is that right Peanut?

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    Quote Originally Posted by CookieLee View Post

    No, we didn't get the most ideal price but we did get a good price. In short, houses taking six months to sell isn't all that bad.
    it's so hard with all the real estate ups and downs. 6-8 yrs ago, memory fuzzy, identical town houses to mine were gong for 286k and they were getting that! That was so overly inflated, I wanted to sell, but where would we go? another way overpriced home in the same school district? when I sold 2 yrs ago, it was for almost 100k cheaper than 286k, no one was getting a sale even when prices were so low. I finally took an offer, it had been over 6 months, I needed to get rid of it.

    so since home sales were down so much, we hoped for a good deal on the handicapped accessible home we wanted, new construction that a lady bailed on. But prices of new construction were not down at all. So weird and so much for you to think about. That's great to have a financial planner to help you decide when to pull the trigger

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    Super Moderator Spirit Deer's Avatar
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    The nice thing about not being forced to move in a given time period is you can list your house and then just wait for the right buyer. If it takes a year to sell, so what? And you never know, either. If it's the right house at the right time, you might get an offer right away. When we bought our lake property, the seller expected to wait to sell that, too, but we signed a purchase agreement less than a week after it was listed because it was exactly what we needed when we needed it and it was at the right price in a prime location.

    When you're paying a mortgage, every month you wait costs you a lot of money. If you can cash out and use your equity to pay cash for the next place, you would save all you would be spending on payments if you wait for better selling prices. You're probably not going to gain much equity while you wait. And of course, if you're waiting to sell in a seller's market, then you'll also be buying in a seller's market if you plan to stay in the same town, so there goes anything you're likely to gain by waiting because you'll be paying more for the next house. Plus you will have lost the thousands of dollars you'll be paying for all those extra mortgage payments you're making while you wait.

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