the nest is empty

**forestdale** · 06-21-2005, 04:57 PM

On friday my youngest son will leave home to live in Canada for a year. When he comes back he'll be living in an apartment. My older son moved out to his own apartment about 18 months ago. They are soon to be 24 and 25. I'm feeling a strange mixture of sadness and excitment. I know I'm going to enjoy this stage of my life, what's not to enjoy, but the transition period will be a bit awkward I think.

We are a very close family. My sons have given me more pure joy than I ever thought I was capable of feeling. I know Kerry will email me daily when he first moves and I won't be surprised by occasional phone calls but I know they won't last and that the ties that bind us will stretch longer and longer. I'm not saying that we won't still have our special bond but that the physical day-to-day stuff, constant communication, sharing things and the feeling of us all being safely in the same space is over for good.

What a great ride it's been. From those first days of being a new mum to watching them grow and encouraging them to be intelligent, caring and loving young men has been a constant challenge. But surprise, surprise! I think they turned out really well. I'm so proud of the men they became.

Now I just have to survive Friday and next week when I'm here alone wondering why we have a four bedroom home and no kids.

**Darlene** · 06-21-2005, 05:13 PM

Aww Rhonda, ya got me crying. So many good things to think back on and look forward to. I can't imagine how I'm going to get through but all of us will with a little help from our friends.
How do you get by without such an important person close by for you to love? Day by day I guess.
I've been really good about this so far but I'm going to be a big ole pile of bittersweet tears when they leave. Big hug Rhonda. You did good, real good.

**Dixie** · 06-21-2005, 05:26 PM

**Prairiemom** · 06-21-2005, 06:46 PM

Rhoda your post made me cry. This is my dd's last year of HS then she'll be off to college. Ds is 21 in college and living on his own. I know what you mean about the physical day to day stuff being over, that's the hard part for me to think about.

Every once in a while ds comes home and spends the night. These are the best times, I love knowing that we're all together and safe.

It's so hard watching them grow up and leave but I guess that's what their supposed to do if we've done our jobs right.

You have so much to be proud of.

**Mom23boys** · 06-21-2005, 08:25 PM

Rhonda, you have me crying too. I have been thinking alot about my boys growing up and leaving home lately. I know I will be lonely. Today Richard turned 17 and instead of being joyful, I am kind of sad because I know this is his last year in high school and I don't know when he will leave home. It is emotional for me. I don't really ever want them to leave, but I know they must.

**cau** · 06-21-2005, 09:54 PM

It is so exciting to see your children become what they can be. It hurts as you are so proud. I loved tha part of becoming their friend instead of their parents, cau

**forestdale** · 06-22-2005, 05:16 PM

We all had a wonderful family dinner last night. Today is packing day and tomorrow at this time he will be gone. DH is taking him to the airport.

**jlxian** · 06-22-2005, 05:53 PM

Geez Rhonda --- very eloquently put! You have a beautiful way of putting these emotions into words. Well done! And good luck with the empty house.

The other night when my daughter was creating a ruckus and I could not get to sleep because of her racket, I told myself, in 6 years she will be GONE. That stopped my grumpy mood, immediately.

**pkellyc** · 06-22-2005, 08:26 PM

I am right behind you. By fall both my girls will be in college. I also like my girls as well as love them. It's exciting in some ways but, I just loved being a mother especially the day to day things. We just need to remember we are not alone and someday there will be granchildren. Not to mention Christmas breaks, spring breaks, and summer vacations.

**forestdale** · 06-22-2005, 09:30 PM

You're right pkelly, it's just the start of a whole new stage of life. Like you, I'm looking forward to all those future get-togethers. I hope your transition to your empty nest is a smooth one.

**PrairieRose** · 06-23-2005, 12:35 AM

Aaaww Rhonda.....

I know exactly everything you're feeling. I felt it all myself when my baby (last of 3) left home about 4 1/2 yrs. ago. I was excited/happy/sad/confused/lonely/so very proud/scared too. It's an odd combination of feelings that wash over you in the months ahead but I know you'll do fine. You've done your life's work and now you get to reap the rewards. Savor every moment of the silence in the house (that's a tough one at first) and really, really savor not having to do so much laundry

**forestdale** · 10-24-2005, 08:31 PM

Just a quick update in this.

It's been four months now since Kerry left home. I had a bit of a chuckle when I read "I know Kerry will email me daily when he first moves and I won't be surprised by occasional phone calls ..." Well, his emails have been as scarce as hen's teeth but he phones home twice a week. He's given our email address to his friends and I've been helping a few canadians get jobs here for their working holidays. No doubt I'll be picking them up at the airport and providing beds, support and food for a while when they first arrive. I think it's nice that my son wants to share DH and I with his friends. And they all sound like lovely polite young people, which is a real bonus.

Kerry loves his job and living in Canada. He says he's having the time of his life. He has a girlfriend and is living in an apartment at the Jasper Park Lodge. He told me he won't be home for at least 2 years.

His brother will be joining him this time next year.

DH and I are loving our solitary simple life. We miss the boys but we know they are both doing well and we have developed a kind of long distance closeness that is different to what we had before. It's all good and DH and I are moving slowly towards a simple self-sufficient life on our acre of paradise.

**jlxian** · 10-25-2005, 04:32 PM

Great update Rhonda.

It sounds like your sons have been given a wonderful start in life. You two have been good parents!

And the added benefit of getting to know a few Canadian friends is a real plus, isn't it?

**bee9984** · 11-18-2005, 10:10 AM

I really enjoyed reading your thread

My oldest moved out on his own 3 years ago. We moved to the province of Quebec and he had just graduated from high school in the province in which we had just moved from so he didn't speak the language here and he had no friends, it was really hard on him so he decided to move to another province.

I went through a really hard time trying to adjust.....even my then 11 year old dd said to me "Mom, what are you going to do when it is my turn to leave and then it will be Samanthas turn.....it will happen and we don't want you to be so sad" Needless to say I snapped out of it but gee, I felt like my heat was broken when I should have been so proud that we had raised such a fine son

I enjoyed your post Rhonda, thank-you