Bridesmaid Shoe dilema
Page 1 of 2 12 LastLast
Results 1 to 15 of 29
  1. #1
    Registered User
    Join Date
    Nov 2009
    Posts
    132
    Post Thanks / WTG / Hug
    Rep Power
    11

    Default Bridesmaid Shoe dilema

    Ok I try to work things out in most situations, but I just kind of snapped at my sister today. I had a 20% off coupon for payless shoes. I was going to see if I could find some cheap, but nice looking flats for the two weddings I am in coming up. So I called her and asked if one of the two colors I found would work better than the other. She said you are going to wear either one to my wedding? I said well don't you think silver or black would look ok with brown? She said no it has to be brown, because the dresses are brown. I said really that is really asking alot since my feet went up a size after having my son and well paying for all this is putting some stress on me. I have some time for her wedding, but didn't want to have to buy two pairs.

    I am so done being in weddings after this. I hate being in them and can't wait to be done. There I said it. I know that I should be more understanding it just really made me mad for some reason. I don't really have a question just venting.

    Thanks

  2. #2
    Registered User dcompton's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2006
    Location
    Louisiana
    Posts
    7,467
    Post Thanks / WTG / Hug
    Blog Entries
    12
    Rep Power
    42

    Default

    Well, you do know of course that everyone is only attending the wedding for a chance to stare at your feet! At least, it's what your sister thinks! LOL!

    No advice. I always feel for everyone involved in a wedding party.

  3. #3
    Registered User Daisygirl's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2006
    Location
    Welland, Ontario, Canada
    Age
    51
    Posts
    2,506
    Post Thanks / WTG / Hug
    Blog Entries
    1
    Rep Power
    24

    Default

    I narrowly avoided being in a wedding recently. I really feel for you. The brides are so focused on every detail being perfect that sometimes they have blinders on to everything else.

    Personally, I think the silver shoes would be lovely with a brown dress. What colour is the other dress you are wearing? I suppose it is too much to wish for that it would be brown too!

  4. Remove Advertisements
    FrugalVillage.com
    Advertisements
     

  5. #4
    Registered User FrabjousDay's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2011
    Posts
    489
    Post Thanks / WTG / Hug
    Rep Power
    13

    Default

    She hasn't picked out shoes for the bridesmaids? I would ask her to be specific about what she has envisioned so you can keep your eyes open for an inexpensive option.

  6. #5
    Registered User Debbie-cat's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2008
    Location
    British Columbia
    Age
    55
    Posts
    26,302
    Post Thanks / WTG / Hug
    Blog Entries
    166
    Rep Power
    157

    Default

    I think silver would look lovely with brown. You should talk to her kindly and tell her that the expense is stressing you out. I hate being in wedding parties so I feel for you.




  7. #6
    Registered User Contrary Housewife's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2007
    Location
    Kansas City
    Posts
    8,940
    Post Thanks / WTG / Hug
    Blog Entries
    75
    Rep Power
    60

    Default

    Get the black shoes. The bride will be too busy to notice on the day of the wedding.
    Stop trying to organize all of your family’s crap. If organization worked for you, you’d have rocked it by now. It’s time to ditch stuff and de-crapify your world.

    If you're not using the stuff in your home, get rid of it. You're not going to start using it more by shoving it into a closet.

    Use it up, Wear it out,
    Make it do, Or do without. ~unknown

    A clean house is a sign of a wasted life. ~unknown

  8. #7
    Moderator nuisance26's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2006
    Location
    Colorado
    Posts
    8,714
    Post Thanks / WTG / Hug
    Rep Power
    57

    Default

    ~I sympathize with you. Being a bridesmaid can be an expensive burden. My attendants wore whatever dress and shoes they wanted. I truly didn't care.
    BUT please please please don't wear silver or black shoes with a brown dress. I'm cringing just thinking about it.
    Think of your new brown shoes as your gift to the bride. ~

  9. #8
    Registered User NikoSan999's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2009
    Location
    Florida
    Posts
    9,909
    Post Thanks / WTG / Hug
    Blog Entries
    1
    Rep Power
    59

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Contrary Housewife View Post
    Get the black shoes. The bride will be too busy to notice on the day of the wedding.
    Second that. And don't even bring it up again. By the time she notices ( if she even does ) it's to late. Whichever pair that will go with both dresses. Black would be most "not outstanding" tho.
    Daughter has been in a couple and what her friend or relative picks out for them is always something that she hates and will never wear again, shoes or dress. And these are not overly fancy weddings. If it had been something wearable again I wouldn't have minded paying a few dollars more for the ability to wear over and over. Just seems like a waste to me unless you're hitting the multi thousands of dollars for the wedding and everyone has the ability to buy the one time only stuff. Not everyone does.
    Bank of America is THE godfather of Hell with Wells Fargo running neck and neck. When the world ends the only things that will be left are cockroaches, Walmart, Wells Fargo and Bank of America. Not necessarily in that order. The order remains to be seen.

    Challenges
    Coupon/Sales Challenge Feb
    $8.00

    Grocery Challenge/Feb
    Goal $250.00
    Total $33.55

    Eat Out No More Feb
    Goal 20
    Accomp/8

    No Spend Challenge/Feb
    Goal 20
    Accomp 4

    Change Jar 2020
    $

    Christmas Fund 2020
    $

  10. #9
    Registered User FrabjousDay's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2011
    Posts
    489
    Post Thanks / WTG / Hug
    Rep Power
    13

    Default

    This bride would have noticed, especially black or silver with brown, sorry. However, I also paid for my attendants' clothing, shoes and hair, partly to make sure everything looked just how I wanted it to look, and partly so they wouldn't have to assume the cost of my wishes.

  11. #10
    Registered User LynnLC's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2007
    Posts
    1,009
    Post Thanks / WTG / Hug
    Rep Power
    23

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by FrabjousDay View Post
    This bride would have noticed, especially black or silver with brown, sorry. However, I also paid for my attendants' clothing, shoes and hair, partly to make sure everything looked just how I wanted it to look, and partly so they wouldn't have to assume the cost of my wishes.
    Agree. No black or silver with brown. I would be paying as well if I wanted specific things...Being a bridesmaid el suckos sometimes.

  12. #11
    Registered User
    Join Date
    Oct 2007
    Posts
    4,525
    Post Thanks / WTG / Hug
    Rep Power
    0

    Default

    Do you have any friends with the same size shoe you might be able to borrow a pair from?

    You could do a search over the internet to see if you can catch any clearance sales on shoes since brown tends to be worn more in winter.

  13. #12
    Registered User
    Join Date
    Nov 2009
    Posts
    132
    Post Thanks / WTG / Hug
    Rep Power
    11

    Default

    Ok so I thought about it and really vented. I went ahead and bought the black shoes. Please don't hate me. (cringe) Now I am wishing that I had gotten the silver ones as the other bridesmaid dress is plum. Maybe I will just wear the black ones with the plum dress and really look for a deal on these brown shoes. I don't think I can say it enough times that I am not going to ever be in a wedding again.

    If this wasn't for my sister and cousin I would have politely declined these last two.

    Oh, by the way my mother thinks the black will be just fine with both dresses. Although I can see everyone's point on the black on brown debate. I made a decision to quickly I think.

  14. #13
    Moderator mauimagic's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2009
    Location
    Maui, Hawaii
    Posts
    19,119
    Post Thanks / WTG / Hug
    Blog Entries
    57
    Rep Power
    119

    Default

    Are these long dresses? If so it really won't matter a bit!!

  15. #14
    Registered User
    Join Date
    Jul 2002
    Location
    Tucson, AZ
    Age
    37
    Posts
    1,014
    Post Thanks / WTG / Hug
    Blog Entries
    1
    Rep Power
    21

    Default

    I wouldn't wear black or silver shoes with the brown dress. But that's jmo! I would keep an eye out for inexpensive brown shoes.

  16. #15
    Registered User The Muse's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2008
    Posts
    1,293
    Post Thanks / WTG / Hug
    Rep Power
    21

    Default

    Neither black nor silver will look nice with brown. I understand your frustration with the situation, but unfortuantely, it comes with the territory when you agree to be a bridesmaid.

    I disagree with hoping the bride is too busy to notice. It's her wedding and she will live with those photos for a very long time.

    IMO, if you can't or are not willing to pay for what the bride requests, you should discuss it immediately upon being asked to be in the wedding. If you can't come to an agreement, then you should politely decline the "honor".

Page 1 of 2 12 LastLast

Similar Threads

  1. So, I am a bridesmaid, and I don't want to be!
    By AnW819 in forum Relationships
    Replies: 60
    Last Post: 12-08-2010, 07:58 PM
  2. Bridesmaid Gift For A Wife Whose Husband Is Away
    By Nada.Leona in forum Military Families
    Replies: 8
    Last Post: 08-02-2009, 06:43 PM
  3. Question about bridesmaid dresses...
    By Momto2Boyz in forum Frugal Living
    Replies: 14
    Last Post: 06-28-2008, 11:51 PM
  4. Keep Your Eyes Open For Bridesmaid Dresses
    By dolphin in forum Secondhand Shopping
    Replies: 6
    Last Post: 09-05-2004, 09:21 PM
  5. My Bridesmaid Dress
    By Michelle in forum Holidays-Special Occasions-Celebrations
    Replies: 24
    Last Post: 05-05-2004, 10:07 AM

Tags for this Thread

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •