widow again

**sinopa27** · 06-04-2013, 09:13 PM

Hello FV family,
It has been awhile since I have been here. So much has been going on. Everyone here helped me when my first husband of 23 years passed away. I was blessed to find love again and now my 2nd husband has passed. We would have been married 2 years the end of June.
I am not looking for sympathy for posting this. I just know that I have special people here at FV that I have never seen that will treat me better than some of the people I know. I just need to vent.
First of all, I am an ER nurse. I have to care for others but my job, of 9+ years, didn't help me with adjusting my schedule so I could care for my husband. He had Congestive Heart failure. I begged for 9 months to change from night shift to days. Finally, I get to work dayshift but 1 week after my husband passed. Plus, we have a system of communication for when a coworker has death in the family. No card. No flowers. In fact, very few knew about it and none of the Doctors knew. So I was out of work for the 3 days that I was permitted and when I return, a couple of Doctors felt horrible when I informed them of my husband's passing. Wow!!
Why does this bother me? Well, I make sure I sign a card, contribute money to the card and express my condolences when others have death in the family or when a family member is sick. I always do something.
Second of all, when my first husband passed, he was in Mexico building our house. My job said that they didn't believe he was deceased until they saw a death certificate. Um.......who lies about a death of a spouse????
Third of all, I went to human resources today to turn in the death certificate to file the insurance. The lady just took the certificate and rudely said, "i will get to it whenever."
Wow!! I guess she was having a bad day.
Thanks FV family.
Sinopa

**daylily** · 06-04-2013, 09:38 PM

I'm sorry for your loss and for the lack of caring and sympathy those folks showed. Hugs to you!

**Debbie-cat** · 06-04-2013, 09:45 PM

Oh Sinopa, I am so very sorry! Sending my sincere condolences.

**Spirit Deer** · 06-04-2013, 09:46 PM

I'm so sorry to hear of this loss, and how you're being treated. Take care.

**BeachBaby** · 06-04-2013, 09:49 PM

I am so sorry for your loss! Hugs and prayers being sent your way.

**Nadders11** · 06-04-2013, 09:51 PM

People can be jerks.

Sorry you had to deal with so many inconsiderate people.

**larabelle** · 06-04-2013, 10:00 PM

WHAT A MEAN ATTITUDE that woman had...
I am soooo sorry for your loss.

**Brat** · 06-04-2013, 10:07 PM

So sorry for your loss...Some times Jobs can be a pain when you need a shoulder to lean on...We're all here any time you want to vent..

**TDN** · 06-04-2013, 10:08 PM

So sorry for your loss. Also sorry for the way you were treated....that is crummy.

**Libby** · 06-04-2013, 10:25 PM

Sorry for your loss Sinopa *hugs* Vent away as needed. As for the HR person, who do you complain to about HR. Its not like you were handing over a dr's note. HR is the one dept that SHOULD have compassion and understanding. I'm sorry she was a cow to you.

**onencgirl** · 06-04-2013, 10:32 PM

I am so sorry for your loss...

The way you've been treated is horrible. The insensitivity of your peers is beyond words.

**Mrs K** · 06-04-2013, 11:13 PM

Veru sorry for your loss. I'm an HR counsellor myself and wouldn't dream of treating someone like that! Does your work place offer an employee help program? That might be a way for you to get some support. It's usually an independant firm that you call and will refer you to proper resources for help. It's confidential and usually free.
Again , hugs to you and sorry for your loss.