[rosey7415]

hello all my dh is 68 and i am going on 61. we both have health issues. so assuming we live another 10-15 or so years.....guessing of course....we have too many medical issues to believe that we would ever make it to 90 or more....and they say if you are overweight you should shave 10 years off your life.....

so anyways....what is the tipping point?

we are by no means rich. we have a modest nest egg. our house and car are paid off we are paying off a mastercard debt that we should be done with by june or july. we did everything we wanted to our house...so all that is done. just maintaining left. so we are at a good point. we worked hard to get here but it feels good.

okey....my problem.....i don't want to leave any money to my children. we have a nice house that will be left to them. we feel that is enough. i need to save money for our prearranged burials. i would also like to save enough for a new vehicle if necessary.

i want to spend down most/some of our money while we are still healthy to enjoy it....ex: vacations, etc. i have seen to many of the previous generation that saved and pinched every nickel and did without to save for a rainy day. some money was left to nieces and nephews. some used it all on their nursing homes. i don't want to lose all we worked for to not enjoy it and just saved it all for a nursing home.

but i am also too frugal and spending money is such a struggle for me. what do you do? please help.

 

[rosebudget]

There is a saying to die broke but live weathly. I think that is hard to do with so many unknows.
I really have no advice.

 

[frugalwarrior2]

We are still in the 50's working to get there where you are but I had thought small trips first. Like we have lots of little ones w/ the senior center. they go to casinos and Shipshewanna amish country stuff. We had joked about a ridiculous landmark trip(like biggest balls of string things),tour of the last surviving diners etc. We camp a bit. Really depends how you feel.

 

[mauimagic]

Good topic. - I shallbefollowing along to see what others say. Congrats are being on secure grounds!

 

[frugalfranny]

I would...first........make sure all my papers are in order so that the above stated is KNOWN........including will, living will, durable POA, etc. If you don't work/word it right the house will be going through probate.............and then there won't be much to leave.

Then...........travel to the places you want to go........but you can still travel frugally....then it doesn't "hurt" so much to be spending.....just enjoy!

Won't part of the decision you make depend on your "philosophy" on what happens when one of you gets sick?

 

[wjcalderon]

Won't part of the decision you make depend on your "philosophy" on what happens when one of you gets sick?

Do you have long term care insurance? If not, your nest egg could go pretty quickly if one of you needs a nursing home or at-home care.

 

[frugalfranny]

Do you have long term care insurance? If not, your nest egg could go pretty quickly if one of you needs a nursing home or at-home care.

This is part of what I meant about the "philosophy" thing............what is to be done when this happens.....not only verbally stated wishes but durable health care POA........living will........etc. Different people have different feelings about what is to be done, but EVERYONE needs to have 'their ducks in a row' so there will be no
questions during what can be an emotional time. As hard as it is to face and talk about, this should be done before starting to spend the hard earned money.

 

[rosey7415]

thank you all for responding....anyone else?

i wanted to add that we have term insurance on each other (had for many years) but a certain age and that will be gone. we had a will done and if there is anything the kids will get 1/3 of everything.

if one of us needs to go in a nursing home or need home care that will wipe us out totally. just as it would for anyone else in our bracket in that situation. life and death is all a crap shoot..........no one knows what will happen.....do i even have enough to save for medical emergencies.....probably not. still confused.....................

how prepared can one be?

 

[mzpepper]

This is such a difficult question. I also don't want to leave much to my kids. I tell them I hope the last check I write bounces. LOL.

My husband and I had many plans for trips, etc but unfortunately he passed away from cancer at 54 after being sick just a short while. Don't put off your plans too long. I still want to travel and do some of the things we had talked about while I am still healthy enough to do so and enjoy it. So I am in the position of still wanting to have a life but needing to be sure that I save enough to take care of myself in the future.

I don't know what the tipping point is, but I do worry about it. If anybody has answers please clue me in too.

 

[nodmicks]

Do you have long term care insurance? If not, your nest egg could go pretty quickly if one of you needs a nursing home or at-home care.

One may find with health problems that one can't get long term care insurance. My mom has a major hip issue and has been denied several times. I told her to relax as she has enough to make it through a lot of nursing home care and I'm a big girl that does NOT need to inherit her savings. I wish I could get the OP to get my mom too see things the way you do! I don't want to inherit I want my mom to have tons of fun while she still can with her $. So I am in my lower 40's and following your conversation.

 

[rosey7415]

bumping......hoping fot more input...

 

[tnkyfrugalgal]

My hubby, who will be 69 in a couple of days and I will be 62 next month, "retired" in 2008. I say "retired" because his position was eliminated but he had enough time with the company to take early retirement. In the first weeks of his retirement we were getting advice of how to handle things. His retirement caught us by surprise and we are really not as prepared for it as we should have been. We met with some financial planners through our bank. I asked about "Long term care insurance" but was told because I walked with a cane I could not get it. We too have health problems. Not sure if what we have saved will run out before we die so I am putting the worry into God's hands. We have no children so don't have to be concerned whether to leave them anything or not. We are pretty frugal. Do most of our grocery shopping at Aldi. Since we stay home most of the time we have casual clothes and we really don't need a lot. We do go to church each Sunday but even there we can wear casual clothes. We don't have to have "Sunday go to meeting" clothes. We have an older car and it is paid for. Still have a few years left on our mortgage but the payment is very reasonable. Not sure how long we will live as we are both heavy and have some health issues. I am recuperating from a bout with breast cancer but everything looks good. Hubby has diabetes and high blood pressure and arthritis in one of his knee. I guess we will make it.

 

[rosey7415]

UPDATE: what the plan is: going to hawaii in the spring of next year. husband quitting his part time job and will be fully retired in sept. the reason for his quitting is his back. he recently went into the hospital again for his back. this is like the 5th time so they finally gave him an mri to see exactly what the problem is. they said he just had old man's disease..a degenerative back. when it goes out he is in massive pain and can't do anything for about a week and a half. he is going to a chiropractor and that is helping. we have just today hired a lawn care service. he just can't do what he used to do anymore. things can happen fast. i also have leg problems and spinal stenosis. so hoping that we can physically go to hawaii...in god's hands there. we had our nest egg just in the bank and was only getting 1 percent or something very low so our bank suggested we invest modestly...not striving for risky high percentage back.....my husband wanted to do it and i was afraid at this age as there is no making back if we lose. i gave in. hope that is the right choice. the rest will be on a wing and a prayer......still appreciating all comments or ideas...... thanks!

 

[Charro]

I guess the people that don't want to leave anything to their children , don't expect any help as they age and might possibly be disabled. I'm sure the kids would call this an equitable agreement. They were taken care of by you , but they didn't get you pregnant or decide to be born. Works for me. Every man for himself.LoL.

 

[peanut]

We are looking at early retirement here, but the situation is different in Canada. Health care is paid for, and we have a pension from DH's work as well as the government (like the US Social Security). Still, we'll be short income the first few years of retirement. We have RRSPs (like US 401K) we will be drawing from early in our retirement. Once I turn 67 I get the government pension. Right now DH is 61 and I'm 53.

Still there are things that are not paid for - dental, glasses... that sort of thing. We've built our emergency fund up to cover those, plus burial costs for both of us. Plus we have a car and house account for repairs, maintenance, and replacement. And another account with two years worth of taxes and insurance in it. We'll need about five years worth in there.

The big thing is to think about the kind of retirement you want. I'm not a fan of traveling, and I don't play golf, so we won't be saving money for that kind of activity. I like being frugal, visiting with friends and family, and doing my hobbies. So that's what I'm saving money for. I'm trying to make the hobbies self-sustaining by selling them professionally.

Health wise, I hear it is now $2500-3000/mth. for long term care locally. If you want private long term care it's over $3500/mth. Long term care is mostly private here. The government buildings are well, let's say, less than desirable. The ones I've been in stink like urine and are old and unclean. I would not want to have to live in one of them! Long term health care insurance is very expensive here and not worth it.

 

[frugalfranny]

we had a will done and if there is anything the kids will get 1/3 of everything.

if one of us needs to go in a nursing home or need home care that will wipe us out totally. just as it would for anyone else in our bracket in that situation. life and death is all a crap shoot..........no one knows what will happen.....do i even have enough to save for medical emergencies.....probably not. still confused.....................

how prepared can one be?

If you only had a will done.........and didn't do any reading on your own, then you probably didn't set up the paperwork to work for your benefit.
You can do what is called a "lady bird deed" on your house...........still maintain control of it while alive, but it goes to the kids upon your death WITHOUT going through probate. If you have to go through probate for more than just the 'very mundane' things............your kids won't get anything anyway.........but an attorney will certainly appreciate his vacation that you have paid for..................

There are some great "Nolo Law books' out there.........................plus others..........that will help with the education. Your library will have lots of them..........I read all the Nolo ones from my library............easy to read, well written and gives "blurbs" about each state on some laws. Not a bunch of 'legal mumbo jumbo' that bores you to death!! CHECK YOUR LIBRARY!

Lawyers, Legal Forms, Law Books & Software, Free Legal Information - Nolo.com

 

[ScrapStitching]

RoadTrip America - Road Trip Planning for North America - they have amazing kitschy ideas and would know about surviving diners (you know every one of them has pie! There's still one in Winchester, VA), and of course, the giant ball of twine. I was reading about road trips the other day. I think we'd like to do some of that. Along the lines of the original poster's comments, the best bumper sticker I've seen in on a camper: "We're spending our children's inheritance."