[peanut]

We've been one income since 1993. Sometimes it seems family and friends just don't 'get it'. I work as hard as any of my working relatives and friends, but I sure get the impression 'something's wrong' with me because I don't work. Do any of you get this? I'd have thought that attitude would have disappeared in this day and age.

My frustrations with being a SAHM focus around planning and organizing my day in such a way as to get all the frugal household things done to make dh's salary stretch further. Seems like I'm always having to make choices about what would be the most cost efficient thing to do at any given point in time. Even as a SAHM there are not enough hours in the day!

Jean

 

[Darlene]

I've been a sahm since my kids were born and the oldest is going to be 21 in March. Some people wonder what I "do" all day but I keep busy and also enjoy myself. Keeping house and family is a job and doesn't mean my brain is all mush because I'm not"out there earning a paycheck" I read, listen to the news am up on things. Know how to stretch a buck and make things last. Yep, I'm a well rounded person with all kinds of mad skills, lol.

It's not luck that I stay at home. Dh works hard and we scrimp and save and do without some things so I can keep house. Works for us and glad we did it our way. I know there are many reasons some of you can't or don't want to stay home and wish you well doing what you have or want to do. :heartsm:

 

[pammy]

One income family here, too. A lot of my friends and family members don't get it (or me), either. I'm not even staying home to be with young children, mine is older, so that really confuses them. But I do feel like I'm 'working' none the less. I honestly feel that we, as a family, are doing oh so much better now that I'm here. I sure wish I had been so very fortunate to stay home when my daughter was young, I missed out on so much.

Nope, they don't understand. They really don't understand that we do give up things or do without things for me to be here. And ya know, I'm not sure that some of them would be willing to sacrifie some , as I'm told they wish they could stay home, too. Some (not all) like to complain that they can't survive without two incomes, while they're hauling in shopping bags from high priced department stores.

And yeah, the days seem to fly by. I hear a lot of 'I would get so bored staying at home'. Hmm... have only been at it for 2 months now, haven't been bored yet!

 

[i.m.cheap]

We are a "one income" family, but it takes both of us working to make $20,000 a year.

 

[Jeanna]

We are a one income family again. We have been off and on for 17 years now. However now it is for good, because of my health. We do ok although I do feel that my husband has to work to hard and that society as a whole has become so backwards in their thinking that it is hard to find someone close to you to really understand or even try.

 

[canadian gardener]

me too. My kids are grown and gone now as of this summer, and I'm not budging.

I do a lot around here, LOL dd is suffering, living with 2 other girls, and they are all pretty clean, but she and the others get tired easily.

She thought it was some weird fatigue thing, till I started listing what she is doing now, that I used to do for her.

The laundry fairy doesn't make house calls.

And her rusty car died last spring, so a 10 minute drive is taking an hour on the bus each way to work.

It all adds up.

But you should have seen the penny drop when I cracked that comment about the laundry fairy not making house calls.

That was a big part of it.

The laundry fairy, the dusting, cleaning and vacuuming fairy, the fairy that takes out the garbage and compost, the ever important dejunking fairy, the baking fairy, the cooking fairy, the menu planning and grocery shopping fairy, the driving fairy (back before the kids had their licenses), the mending fairy, the comfort and repair broken hearts fairy.

Hmmmm

Takes a fair bit of time and energy to keep all these fairies up in the air and flying around!

More than one figures, certainly a lot more than dd ever suspected.

heheheheheheheheheh

 

[canadian gardener]

And just for the SAHMS of teens heres a thought for you!

Did you know that most teenage conceptions happen AFTER SCHOOL at home, BEFORE MUM GETS HOME FROM WORK?????

People presume that teens are more independant, and almost adults so why be there?

Drugs and little surprise bundles of joy are why mums need to be there.

That usually corks anyone bold enough to question a woman who chooses to stay home when her kids are "way too old to need their mother at home anymore so why aren't you out working???"

Try it at your next dinner party or Christmas do.

Oh and the other kicker is volunteering.

Nobody can figure out why there aren't enough volunteers now for the different charities.

Well, the demographics tell you why. You have a lot of overworked mothers who do the second shift at home, and their free time is almost non existant. Many try to fit in volunteering but it can't be the same length of time that Sahms of teens used to be able to give to it. So with the mothers all at work, there just isnt' the labour pool of experienced, wise and energetic mothers of almost grown kids, who can give it their all.

Ask the rude person who thinks you do nothing, whether volunteers do nothing.

 

[Michelle]

We are now...but won't be for long. I need to return to work to help out our finances. We've hit hard times in the past few years, and especially in the last few months. I am currently looking for a job, and I'm heartbroken because I won't be able to be here for the kids when they come home from school.

 

[djs]

I worked harder when I was a SAHM before my divorce then when I went back to work full time after it, and I still was raising the kids

 

[baronmom]

We have been a one income family since 1998. Some people still give me crap about staying home. I get the "why don't you go and get a job" crack all the time. I don't want to work outside the home, and as long as we make it without a major struggle, who cares. I like being home when my kids get home from school. Not too mention, I don't have to take off of work when the kids need to go to the doctor or dentist. I don't get bored staying home at all. I love it

 

[midwestgal]

I've pretty much always been a SAHM since we first started having our 4 children. (They're grown now.) Sometimes I had little odd jobs for a few hours each week while they were in school to pay for some little extras, but for the most part, I was at home full time. It took a lot of work to stay on top of things and manage the household well, saving money all along the way. I remember I was so astounded about my long-time neighbor, who worked full time. Her family of four went out to eat every single night except for a couple times a year when they cooked at home. That was the exact opposite of our family. I cooked every night, and we ate out a couple times a year. I often wondered if she was really seeing any of her paycheck! I am going to get back to teaching adult ESL soon, though. I now have the time and inclination to do this, and it is very rewarding!

 

[Lylac]

CG,
LOL, funny how kids never realize these things until they are out on their own.

I empathize with anyone who wants to be home and can't - not everyone can (especially single moms). I do believe though there are some out there who could if they just got rid of a few extras in life. I would not be very empathetic to the person who states that but dresses in designer clothes, eats out all the time, has an expensive car, etc. etc. etc.

BTW, I, like yourself, am home and happy for it. Besides, sometimes women are at home for other reasons (like health) that don't need explaining to anyone. In my early SAHM years, those responses bothered me more - now I could care less really. I figure that is their issue, not mine.

 

[Lylac]

In response to Jean, the original poster, yes, it sure does take a lot of work to manage a tight budget. I'm not always as successful as I'd like, but I think I do pretty well. I am grateful I have the opportunity to have this challenge - and we are managing in the middle 20K range in expensive New England. I have a great dh who is appreciative of all I do, and that helps a whole lot. (Had a former dh who wasn't - so I've lived both lives - been there and done that.)

 

[sixfreds]

We were but I recently started working so we are not any more.
I only work 3.5 hours a day and it is when the kids are in school so if they are here so am I.
I don't really make a lot of money but I have a feel good job I am a meals on wheels delivery person so I deliver meals to the elderly and disabled so it makes me feel like I am doing something good pluse I get a bit of money in the meantime.

Eileen

 

[sarathom]

I have been a SAHM since 1999 when my first child was born. And I would not change a thing. Cuddle times with my babies has a value that money could never bring. My dh makes a great wage but I have friends who are in the same wage bracket and work because they can't make ends meet. Yes, we are on a budget but we live very comfortably. And yes, we don't get what we want when we want it. We have to budget for things but we are so much more appreciative when we do get material goods.

Being with my kids has been the best. And I am ALWAYS busy!

I love what I do. I also have a dh that is my equal all the way. That makes our home run very well.

 

[QuilterMom]

One income family since 1997.

 

[Pepper]

One income family here too!

Got married when we were 18 and we are both very old fashioned.

Whenever someone asks me what I do all day I just smile and say "What I want to". I find that most people who ask are really just jealous that they cannot stay home themselves, including family members!!

 

[MOMMYDEAREST]

this is a very good topic to talk to me about. i've been a sahm for 11yrs & i love it. but nobody understands what kind of job it is until they have done it. i ahve a few friends that work fulltime 7 htye hvae kids & they always say "i don't know how you do it". and my reply is "i don't know how you drop your kids off at daycare...i couldn't do that". i understand that some families need 2 incomes. it would be nice to have the extra income but raising my kids is very important to me right now. my kids are only young once. there ae some things that we have to cut back on so that i can be a sahm, but tis all worth it to me. just my opinion. keep up the good work...being a sahm is the hardest job in the world

 

[peanut]

Thanks for the support everyone. I guess this is all coming home to me because my baby is 18 years old, turning 19. I have no reason to stay home, according to some. I know dh expected I would go back to work before this point. So did I. But I have health issues and I doubt I could do it.

On an more sombre note, I crunched numbers for retirement the other day and discovered, if anything happened to dh, I'd be living in the poor house...$1500/mth. max. and that's with government subsidies included. I'm going to need long term care in the future. We may need to reassess things here. I may take out an insurance policy of some sort on dh, other than term, whether he likes it or not. He's not a big fan of insurance.

Jean

 

[auntiali]

Pepper I love your answer!

Been home for 14 years and loving it.