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Discussion Starter #1
C'mon, I know I can't be the only one!
My story:
8 years of fertillity treatments
4 failed IVFs
3 Laparoscopies for severe endometriosis
1 TOTAL hysterectomy (at age 34)
My kiddos:
#1 - adopted from Russia at10 mos - he will be 10 in May, ADHD and SMART!!
#2 - adopted from Russia at 9 mos - he will be 10 in May - he has FAS
#3 - adopted from China at 11 mos - she turned 2 in Dec
#4 - ? Still contemplating this possibility

I wouldn't trade a thing!

I am barren, but not childless!!!
 

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I am not sure I am so much unable to conceive as much as unable to get past the first few weeks....

I have 8 angels waiting to meet their sister.
 

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37 & childless

I'm 37 as well & My babies are all in Heaven , atleast they are with the greatest Father of them all!

From the bottom of my heart I feel your struggle!
I know I haven't been through exactly what you have & I can only imagine your challenges you have been through. But what ever you decide on, I pray that God blesses you as I see he already has with the loving babies you already have.

~Michelle
 

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We tried since the day we got married to get pregnant.

17 years of trying
2 years of treatments, we did not do IVF, just everything else, ex.
artificial insemenation, donor sperm, etc.

Now we have been waiting 2 years to adopt a baby boy, through our local social services, we are currently #5
 

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Only because I had my tubes tied due to having lupus. My last birth was miserable. I was started two weeks early and he was "sunny side up" (face up). They found out too late for a c-section. My drugs had worn off. I thought I would die. I knew I never wanted to go through that ever again.

Not to mention complications of pregnancy that lupus causes. And vice versa.
 

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Discussion Starter #7
I'm 37 as well & My babies are all in Heaven , atleast they are with the greatest Father of them all!

From the bottom of my heart I feel your struggle!
I know I haven't been through exactly what you have & I can only imagine your challenges you have been through. But what ever you decide on, I pray that God blesses you as I see he already has with the loving babies you already have.

~Michelle
You sound like you have great faith in Christ as well. Isn't it great to know that our lives are in His hands, and nothing, not even these struggles are a suprise to God?

After 4 failed IVFs, I have babies waiting for me too!! (oooh, GOOSEBUMPS!!) As I believe that life began in that sterile petri dish..........sometimes I am not even sure what I think about that....
 

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Discussion Starter #8
We tried since the day we got married to get pregnant.

17 years of trying
2 years of treatments, we did not do IVF, just everything else, ex.
artificial insemenation, donor sperm, etc.

Now we have been waiting 2 years to adopt a baby boy, through our local social services, we are currently #5

Oh, yea, I know your struggle for sure!!! One thing I will say to you as an encouragement...is when you have your son, you will feel like he has been there forever, and the years waiting somehow melt away.

really
 

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We started trying in August 2006. We're currently taking a break due to an injury DH sustained at work in June. It's a bummer, but he's having surgery next week, so hopefully we can get back on track after that.

I go back and forth ... to keep trying or to stop dealing myself heartbreak and throw in the towel. It's a hard spot to be in. Kudos to everyone here who has triumphed.
 

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I'm single and started ttcing at 42.10 (yes, late I know - I was waiting for Mr. Right to come along), 7 tries with my own eggs - two at home insems, three IUIs, two attempted IVFs converted to IUI due to poor response (low quantity of eggs); went to donor egg, three tries, three pgs, three m/cs. I have an immune issue and can't carry. Last mc was in July. Went to adoption and am on adoption waiting list for domestic adoption of a baby girl - I'm now 45.9.

Mostly I've come to term with it, but sometimes I still feel envy when I see other women get pg so easily or friends have babies. I belong to Single Mothers by Choice and I get a lot of support there. But it's hard to feel like I'm outside the "norm" - I just wanted to get married and have kids like so many others. To not have found a husband AND to then not be able to have biological kids - it was a double whammy that took me a long time to grieve/get over. But now I just want to be a mom and I know I'll love the child I end up with. I'm adopted by my dad and my sis has adopted a couple of kids. My aunt and uncle also adopted my cousin. I've very pro adoption, but like many others, wanted to have biological kids - I thought it would be easier/happen more quickly than adoption. But 3 years later here I am. Well, what's meant to be is meant to be, and I'm glad that adoption is an option.
 

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Hi Ladies!!

This is the gang for me ;) We have been trying for 2 years come April 2010, with nothing. Am currently getting ready to start my 8th round of clomid..now that my thyroid disease has been diagnosed and is nearly normal, I agreed to give it one more try. I also have endometriosis and likely PCOS as well. After this, my next step is to be sent to the reproductive endocrinologist, and likely injectables combined with IUI.

It's definitly been a rollercoaster, and and being pumped with hormones doesn't make it any easier that's for sure. Nor does having to pay everything out of pocket....or being surrounded by other people's children. For the most part, we're ok. Every once in a while it creeps up on me though...often occurs after insensitive comments from nosy people. Ive become very open about my infertility now...since it seemed worse to get upset and have no one know why. Of course, with the clomid..it's not always easy to stay zen LOL.

I don't know how it is in the US, but due to the cost, IVF, private adoption, and international adoption are not options for us. We simply don't have $20,000-$30,000 lying around, even with being frugal. I hate that money is the barrier between us and a child. I also have very strong feelings about people who are opposed to fertility treatments and feel that having children is a "choice". The inability to conceive is NOT a choice..it's a medical condition, and should be treated as such. So very frustrating.

While private and international adoption may not be a possibility for us, we have started looking at adoption thru our local children's services, and are currently at the beginning of the journey. There are no infants or newborns available thru child services, but we are hoping for a child under 3.

One particularly insensitive accquanitance said, "you know, some people just aren't meant to have kids..maybe you're just supposed to have dogs and a horse instead." I personally feel the amount of restraint I used to keep from kicking her in the shin was award-worthy :p However, I know I was meant to be a mother...Ive been ready for that for so many years now.

After years and years of teaching and taking care of other people's children, I know it's going to happen someday, somehow..because there simply isn't any other option.
 

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For any of you who might not have seen it yet..I came across this on another message board Im on, and think it's really sweet:

Once upon a time, there was a girl who lived on an Island. And The Girl dreamed of going to the Mainland. The Girl had watched many of her friends go over to the Mainland. They climbed aboard the plane and took off to the land of her dreams. And they'd send postcards with pictures on the front of all of the cute things on the Mainland and on the back telling her how wonderful the Mainland was. She really wanted to experience the Mainland so after a time The Girl started making preparations and plans for the trip.

Now, unlike her friends, The Girl had problems getting to the Mainland. Sometimes there was a problem with the booking service, or the travel agent, or the flights were full. She sighed and chalked that up to "bad timing". But it was ok. She had her plan. She would be on her way to the Mainland soon. But she wasn't.

Even once she had a reservation, her flights always seemed to be canceled. And she always seemed to be the "random" target of security which subjected her to many invasive and embarrassing cavity searches- which wasn't fair, really. Didn't they see the strung out crack-head who hadn't showered in weeks standing next to her? Surely the crack-[censored] should be in security rather than breezing onto the plane. But, The Girl remained hopeful. The dignity robbing probes were OK if they got her to the Mainland. But, alas, they didn't.

Sometimes she actually made it on the plane, but it wouldn't take off. Sometimes the plane even left the ground, only to have to land back at the Island because of mechanical difficulties. The Girl was really getting heart broken. Other people were still managing to get on different flights over to the Mainland. Nearly all of her friends were over there. She felt stranded, and cursed, and like she was being punished for something- though she couldn't imagine what.

And through it all, well meaning people would tell her, "Maybe you aren't meant to leave the Island." And The Girl tried very hard not to hit them over the head with the nearest coconut.

After a time, The Girl started thinking about the Mainland. She really wanted to get there. And while she wanted to fly there... everyone flew there, it was the most direct route, and- on the face of it- seemed the easiest way to get there, though clearly not for The Girl. She started to think that the person who said "It's not the destination, it's the journey" was full of crap. She wanted the destination. So she started thinking about taking the boat.

Now, while The Girl was in the midst of trying to fly over to the mainland, those same well-meaning people would tell her, "Why don't you just take the boat?". Which bristled The Girl. She wasn't opposed to taking the boat- she was a beach girl after all- but there was no "just" about it. The boat required a lot of preparation. A lot of paperwork. A lot of time. And the schedule was unpredictable. Not only that, but people ask a lot of rude questions and say a lot of rude things about the boat. "Why are you taking the boat- how come you didn't fly?" Or, "You didn't fly? Oh. Then you haven't REALLY gotten to the Mainland." Which The Girl knew was ridiculous, but it would sting just the same. But The Girl was a smart girl and knew that deciding to take the boat was a big step. Again, there was no "just" about it. If she were to take the boat, that decision would come in it's own time.

Because, really, it was a little hard to give up on the idea of the flight. The Girl had dreamed of experiencing the flight. She had never flown before- she really wanted that experience. But after a time, she realized that she really wanted to experience the Mainland more. How she got there may be different from how she had originally hoped, but she was sure it would be just as wonderful. (Heck, you can drink while you are on the boat- PG Airlines doesn't serve alcohol. Nyah, Nyah.)

So The Girl filled out the paperwork. And had background checks. (Apparently they are worried about crazy people getting stuck out in open water). And she was frustrated at this, because no one asked these things if you boarded the plane. But finally she was cleared to come aboard. And the ship set sail.

The boat was nice. But the sea was vast. Would they have fair winds and following seas? Or would it be rough, tough going? When would they arrive? Sometimes The Girl was able to just enjoy the trip. Other times she stared, straining her eyes towards the horizon hoping to see a glimpse of the Mainland. And a few times, The Girl really thought they were sailing in circles and were hopelessly lost at sea.

But then, one unexpected day, she glanced over the bow and saw it. LAND! They were nearly there! She was still a few weeks off, but she was nearly there! This was so exciting. And scary. Was she ready? Would they actually get there, or would they run aground at the reef? The Girl had waited for so long it seemed that this could scarcely be happening. And though the journey had already been so long, these last few weeks seemed the longest.

And then she pulled into port. The Girl was there! Her friends and family were excitedly waiting at the dock, beside themselves with excitement that The Girl was finally on the Mainland. There were happy tears and hugs and overwhelming joy. And The Girl knew that this was exactly how she was supposed to get to the Mainland. And she lived happily- mostly*- ever after.

*The Girl had long ago given up her fairy tale notion of life in exchange for a more realistic one. She knew she would encounter rude, insensitive people sometime after she settled into the Mainland. But The Girl was prepared... she had packed some coconuts.
 
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I can feel everyones pain here too. I have had serveral miscarriages(8) and one baby girl I carried to 6 months that is waiting for me in heaven. It's so hard. I am the youngest of three sibling who both have kids. I have nine neices and nephews so I feel like sad that I am always a aunt and never a mommy. It hurts when you have some that it seems like if they just look at each other they become prego. I makes it hard to have faith and believe some times. I have been married for 12 years and we have always been trying. The doctors can not find any medical reason why I miscarry and just say stuff like your body just doesn't like carrying a baby and want me to keep trying. We are wanting to adopt but don't have the funds. We have talked and foster to adopt. We would even be open to a sibling group but I still just want to have a somewhat little baby too so I could get rid of this baby fever.

Jenny.....aka always a aunt and never a mommy :(

Oh yea and don't you just hate it when everyone you see says "so when are you going to have babies?"
 

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I feel your pain...we are currently going through the adoption process because we have tried everything in our 4 years of trying!!
2 IVF's
1 Frozen Embryo Transfer
3 IUI's
3 Donor sperm IUI's

All failed except one donor sperm IUI last June. I was pregnant for 6 weeks before I miscarried! The best time of my life followed by the worst time of my life. You are definantely not alone!
 

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Love The Girl story....so, so, true. I see other women in my support groups that I've known online for three years and some not only have their first child, they're trying for their second...I'm 8 mos on adoption waiting list and now 46. ARGH.
 

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I am fortunate to have one child. A 14 year old daughter. When she was three my obgyn told me that my uterus was backwards and that I might have a hard time conceiving. It was kind of ironic because my daughter was with me. Right now I have been trying to get pregnant almost three years. Part of me fears that I waited too long. Is it my fault? The hardest part has been taking pregnancy tests thinking you are pregnant and feeling like I let down my husband who does not have children when the test is negative. I am truly grateful for the child I have. There is a part of me that just yearns for a baby.
 

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I have one child, but I conceived when I didn't even have my period. I couldn't tell ya when I conceived or anything. It's been seven years since his birth and we haven't prevented pregnancy. I think I've had maybe 5 periods.
 

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Well, I've now been on the waiting list one year, 11 months. Very frustrating. It's harder to adopt when you're single. The good news is that I've met someone and we've been dating for almost a year - but he has two grown kids and is still working through the idea of starting over with a baby - we'll see how it works out. Fingers crossed. When I hit the 24 month mark, I go onto an "expedite" list, which means that I am more likely to be matched.

Someone said they were concerned they couldn't afford adoption - I am single and yes it's hard, but there are tax credits. I am paying for adoption with some savings, a home equity loan - then the tax credit.
 

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I want to send all you ladies huge hugs. For those who have children that were grown in your hearts and for those waiting for a child to enter your life.
 

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I have two friends who were married 18 years trying to get pg and when they were around 40 and 44 they got pg. Dh also had an aunt who was married for close to 30 years and had many miscarriages and one still birth before she finally had her son.

We were different in that our son was born 9 months after we married when I was 18. After that I had 3 miscarriages and was told it was unlikely we could have another child. This was in the 1960's and options were pretty much non-existent. So we started adoption proceedings but before they had a child for us I was (surprise) pg. I was never pg again and at 30 I had surgery. We adopted our third dd who will be 40 later this month.

I was blessed to have my son without problems but even so it was painful watching friends having babies while I longed for a second child.
 
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