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Discussion Starter #1
I have two cats - Bobbins (neutered male) and Sable (spayed female). I've had Bobbins for about two years and I got Sable two months ago. They are both fluffy and adorable and perfect...on their own. Unfortunately, put them together and the fur starts flying. I thought for sure they would get used to each other in time, but it's been two MONTHS and they still fight.

Does anyone have any ideas to help them get along? If this continues, I'm going to have to get rid of Sable, and I really don't want to do that.
 

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Well since you only got Sable 2 months ago, it seems that Bobbins is showing his authority around the house, give it some more time, eventually (We hope) they will come around. They are just like us, we dont like change (most times) so it takes us a while to adapt. Let us know what you decide.
 

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Did you keep them separated for a while and introduce them slowly? If not, you might try that. If you did, maybe go back to step one for a while? Can you tell what triggers the fights? Food? Perches? Attention? Just the sight of each other? Time may cure it, but it seems to me that two months is a long time for them not to sort it out and come to some kind of compromise about sharing the territory. But I'm no expert. There are some vets in the Village; maybe one of them will see this and give you some better advice.
 

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Are they actually physically fighting or just bitching and moaning? I have 8 indoor cats of all ages and every once in a while somebody gets cranky and it's bitch and moan time.

If it's physical it could just be establishing dominance, (as long as neither one is being physically hurt) they'll sort it out. If the new cat is much younger, active and playful her energy may just rankle the older cat's nerves.

I treat it like a passle of kids, so long as no one's being bitten or bleeding, they will sort out their differences.

FrugalWitch

(PS) If it's any comfort in all my long years of owning cats, none of them have ever actually injured each other
 

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We have a similar situation. We have had Jack since he was two weeks old and he was our only pet at the time (besides a rabbit). Then we found Mocha in our yard around the time Jack turned one. Mocha was a couple of years older and very "to her self". We kept them totally seperated for a while. Slowly we introduced them, then we began to feed them treats in the same room. Fast forward a year and a half later. They are by no means best buddies, but they tolerate each other most of the time. They both will sleep on me within a foot or two of each other. Jack wants to play with Mocha, and she wants to be left alone. They will hiss and paw each other at times, but no real biting or clawing each other up. It is mainly Mocha pawing at Jack (and the dog for that matter) for no real reason at all. She will go out of her way to "slap" him. It took a good bit of time before I was completely comfortable in letting them be together without us around.

Point, of my story? Give them some time. It takes a while for them to set their boundries with each other. Everyone has given you some really good ideas on how to help them out. Good luck.
 

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I guess i am no help. My first idea was to rub each one with a little cat nip, making each one...happy to see the other. if all else fails they'd be happy by them selves...until the catnip wore off. I suppose that isnt such a hot idea.

How about starting from stage one...take the new one and put her in a carrier evrey time they are in the same room. She'll feel safe inside it and he can go check her out at his leisure, and he'll get used to the smell of her in the room, her noises her etc. Does she have a seperate litter container? If so take a shovel of her litter and put it in his box...again making normal routine cat life include reminders that she belongs there in the house too...
 

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when my friend got another cat here is what she did and it did work. Like others have said, the two cats are not best friends but they tolerate eachother and dont really fight anymore.

She introduced them slowly over a period of a couple of weeks. First she got a towel and rubbed the new cat with it. She then put it near her first cat, she did the same thing in reverse for the new cat. she did that so the cats
would get used to the scent of eachother.
She than introduced them slowly usually for only a short time at first slowly adding more time. She never left them alone together while she was at work for around 2 months. Like I said it did work, but it took time. good luck
 

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I'm also in a similar spot. Careful observation, however, has let me see that the "fighting" is not very serious (claws stay sheathed, no hard biting, mostly noise and bops) and that they bathe each other several times a day (not something that occurs with 2 that can't stand each other). I am just trying to ignore it and let them work it out since it seems friendly some of the time. If my long-term cat (Scamper) had seemed truly to dislike the idea of the new one (LuLu), I would have made other arrangements for her so that I could maintain my commitment to him. Incidentally, I talk to them, so I reminded him that when he was a kitten and was hurt and I brought him in, Betty (my old cat) wasn't very happy about it either, but that she got better about him and that I am VERY glad I have him and love him dearly. Then I pointed out that this kitten has also been hurt, and needs someplace safe to grow up, and that he might have fun playing with her while I'm at work since he seems a little bored since Betty died. That evening was the first time I saw them bathe each other, and it seems to slowly be getting better. Ok, so now you think I'm a nutcase who talks to her cat - well, there are worse social disorders I could have instead, huh :)
 

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enda i think it's sweet you talk to your cats :)
i talk to my dog like he's one of the kids. he even acts like one of them when he's sick and only wants momma.
amy, no advice as you've gotten some good advice already. but i do hope the kitties work it out :)
 

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I recently had a similar situation. I had my female (spade) cat for 4 years and then found a male 2 month old kitten. He's been neutered and he's now 9 months old. For the first month or two it seemed awful, my older cat seemed to hate the new intruder. She was so happy when he was gone for a couple of days to be neutered. Then she was unhappy again when he came back home. It took some time for them to get used to each other. My female still growls at the young male cat when he gets too playful. They also bat each other with their paws. There is some biting sometimes, but I haven't found either to be injured afterwards. Now that we have had the new cat for 9 months they still have their moments of play/fighting usually in the early morning and evening when they are both wide awake. They eat nicely together though and I give them treats together a few times a day. They both sleep on the bed with me now and I have even seen the little guy lick my female cat on the head and she lets him. I think they are about as adjusted now to each other as they ever will be. I think giving them time is the best thing to do. I thought many times about getting rid of my little boy cat the first few months, but I love him too much to do that and I kept the faith that they would get used to each other.
 

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Discussion Starter #11
Thanks for all the replies and advice. It's not fighting like with claws and blood and stuff, but growling and screaming and hissing and slapping at each other. They have both lived with other cats before and been fine, but the other cat was always of the same sex as them. I think the fact that they are male and female is causing a lot of the trouble...both my best friend and my parents have had problems trying to mix a female and male, even when they were both neutered. I'm going to give them more time to work things out and try to make sure they both get a lot of attention from me at the same time.
 

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Actually, it is best to have cats or dogs of the opposite sex. Since there is a lot of posturing going on (rather than drawing of blood) I wouldn't worry about it too much. My two current cats took several months to be comfortable with each other. They still aren't the sort who will curl up with each other, but they bath eeach other off and on and seem to get along ok. They fight--every day. They have yet to draw blood.
 
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