[WigWamChic]

I didnt where exactly to post , I am not single , i am married , but not to my sons father , I have a 4 month old son and will begin to persue childsupport next month , i would like to hear from people who are dealing with or have dealt with this type of thing , I know the father who has completley disconnected since i became preg last feb , he is a transient and i am wondering how exactly the entire child support thing works , how long it may take or may have taken you and what the hassel level is.

I have real anxiety about it , about everything having to do with it.

as many responses as you can spare would help.

Thanks
W

 

[FrugalMomof3]

Well applying for child support is actually quite simple it's getting the father to pay that's the hard part. Just go to your local domestic relations department and file for child support (most welfare departments make you file if you applying for assistance). Be prepared to supply your income as it is used to determine the fathers obligation and also his ability to pay.

How long it takes depends on if he shows up for the hearing or meeting that is scheduled following your petition for child support. Both parties will have to agree on visitation (if he so wishes to see his child) and the support amount will be determined at that date as well.

Your best bet is to go into the office tomorrow and request a petition for child support then will set a hearing date and provide you with a list of required documents you must bring with you. Please keep your cool at this meeting, dont let the ex get under your skin, let the mediator make suggestions and decisions. Here in Pennsylvania, the meeting is between a mediator the mother and father, no one else is allowed in the room, you can either agree (you and the baby's father) on a support amount without the involvement of the mediator (but the mediator will be a witness) or the mediator will determine the support amount based on both parties incomes, cost of living, baby's needs, etc.

The sooner you petition the better.

 

[guest56464]

I don't know too much about it myself... I'm just starting. But I do know that once you submit papers a paternity test might be needed... especially if the father denies it.

I know that the extra money would help out a lot but if he doesn't want contact then he could always relinquish his rights and your husband could adopt your son. That's what we're trying to do.

Unfortunately my daughter's father likes to be a temporary dad and call once every 3-4 months. And he wont willingly give up his rights so what we;re trying to do is establish child support through the court system and if he doesn't pay anything for a year (exactly) then I can relinquish his rights without his consent-- and my husband can adopt her. The crap thing is that if her "temporary father" decides to pay only $20 a year I can't do it. So, my hope is that he wont hear anything about it and keep not paying me anything. But if he does decide to pay then I've got $37,000 back child support coming to me... and it's a felony to owe more than $10,000 in California (where he lives).

Ok, I'll end that rant. I really didn't mean to go on a gripe. *sorry*

I did learn a lot from dealing with an amazing lawer when we went through custody battles for my stepson. I hope you get the answers you're looking for... if not then legal aid could possibly do it for you for free.

So, to make up for the rant here's that funny looking dancing banana:

:fdance:

 

[annymoll]

I didnt where exactly to post , I am not single , i am married , but not to my sons father , I have a 4 month old son and will begin to persue childsupport next month , i would like to hear from people who are dealing with or have dealt with this type of thing , I know the father who has completley disconnected since i became preg last feb , he is a transient and i am wondering how exactly the entire child support thing works , how long it may take or may have taken you and what the hassel level is.

I have real anxiety about it , about everything having to do with it.

as many responses as you can spare would help.

Thanks
W

Just a thought. I know you have stated that you don't want your child to be raised by his father. If you pursue child support, you will also have to accept that the childs father will have visitation rights. (Even if it means supervised visitation).Once his paternity is established, he is paying, or required to pay, he will have some legal rights. Most likely above what your DH does at present. Just food for thought.

 

[starsapphire]

Just a thought. I know you have stated that you don't want your child to be raised by his father. If you pursue child support, you will also have to accept that the childs father will have visitation rights. (Even if it means supervised visitation).Once his paternity is established, he is paying, or required to pay, he will have some legal rights. Most likely above what your DH does at present. Just food for thought.

OP I dunno what state you're in, but in California, child visitation and child support are two totally separate issues, one does not affect the other. State laws vary. Your local child support office will be able to tell you everything you need to know.

 

[annymoll]

OP I dunno what state you're in, but in California, child visitation and child support are two totally separate issues, one does not affect the other. State laws vary. Your local child support office will be able to tell you everything you need to know.

How odd. It never crossed my mind that in some states a father or mother would pay support but have no rights. I would seek the advice of an attorney in that case.I wish you well WigWam. Hope it will be ok for you.:flowers:

 

[angeljzmom]

After 2 years of not receiving child support, I went to child support services to help encourage my ex to pay support. The first year nothing happened because they said they couldn't locate him, ( he lives 1/2 mile from me.)which I originally told them. They finally verified his address, but he wouldn't respond to them so they put a lien on his house. That just him mad. Still no payment. About 6 mos after that they revoked his business license but he still continues to work. Still no payment. Then about 6 months after that he decides to take me to court to get the payments lowered (even tho he isn't making them.) They lowered the payments, with the promise from him that he will pay. Guess what he still isn't paying. The next step is they will go after his bank accounts but now he puts all his money in his girlfriends account. I know they have 216,000 cases to deal with every month, that is why the whole system is so slow. But I keep just keep waiting.

 

[claimsgirl66]

Years ago I ended up going to the state dept of human services and got my exes pay attached....dealing with the government agency made it PAINFULLY slow....but it was a good start. I would suggest you check your state Dept of Human services and see what they suggest or try this website. Years ago they sent me material which helped....good luck.

http://www.childsupport-aces.org/index2.shtml

 

[pita1213]

in va, going for child support means the father can have visitation rights. sil found that out when she wanted to make her ex boyfriend pay child support. if she wanted money from him, she had to let him see their son. so definatly check on that especailly if you don't want the father to see your baby

 

[FrugalMomof3]

If you go and try for any county assistance they will start the child support process for you since they work with the local domestic relations department, but be an easier route for you to take.

 

[Laurie in Bradenton]

I had to chose 22 years ago. I decided it was better for all of us for me to ask X to give up all rights. He had drug, law and anger problems. Was the best thing I ever did. He signed blank adoption papers and I gave up all rights to any funds ever. Was tough at times but was so much better for my son never to know him. With all rights given up by him we were able to move far away and start new lives. If I hd to make the choice again I would in a heart beat.

Laurie in Bradenton

 

[baronmom]

I was lucky, because my ds's father decided he didn't want to be a part of his life, but paid his child support. It has been on and off through the years, and right now he owes me over $1300. I know that in past years when he didn't pay, they issued a warrant for his arrest several times. I had a court hearing one time and it just so happens that the day before the hearing I got laid off. When I told the judge that, he issued the arrest warrant asap. I ended up getting my money and he didn't have to go to jail. Also, in my state of PA, if your support owed is over a certain amount, you can take their tax returns as well. I had them put the paperwork in since I am owed money, but I have yet to see anything. Best of luck to you. You have to decide what is best for you.

 

[Libby]

I didnt where exactly to post , I am not single , i am married , but not to my sons father , I have a 4 month old son and will begin to persue childsupport next month , i would like to hear from people who are dealing with or have dealt with this type of thing , I know the father who has completley disconnected since i became preg last feb , he is a transient and i am wondering how exactly the entire child support thing works , how long it may take or may have taken you and what the hassel level is.

I have real anxiety about it , about everything having to do with it.

as many responses as you can spare would help.

Thanks
W

You never stated where you were - USA or CANADA? I know the laws vary state to state/province to province and especially country to country. I like reading about all the lil things I could look into should things with bf and I get THAT serious. Doesnt hurt to research things right ladies?

Wigwam you definately have come to the right place to ask questions - but the answer to this one could encourage others to speak up. Just a thought.