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Heather Bob
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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
I was reading a site and it had this statement from Julie Morgenstern:

"You need to ask yourself whether you are using the constant mess as an excuse not to pursue what you really want in life. Many people use clutter as a distraction when they fear getting what they really want. They keep things messy just so they have something to concentrate on other than their goals."

Very interesting statement, what do you think??:)
 

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I think she is right....That is something I need to think about. I'm the type of person, who wants to to do so much in life. I also accumulate so much things which I want to use in futur crafts and projects. The way I feel, is like I want to have a perfect life and do lots of stuff, but I can seriously see that what I am trying to do, is not working...

I don't know if it has to do with my chilkdhood, but all I can say, I was so bored when I was young...my parents never did anything special or no-special. It was the most ordinary, boring life. No suprises, no going anywhere, no special projects or trying to decorate our home...I dreamed so much to do things with my mom, or have come to my school at the activities, but she never came-never.

So what do I do? I know I clutter my life with ALL that I dreamed of doing! So, now I'm at a point where I am exhausted and like you said, I haven't really focused on my real goals. I draw beautifully, but I never do it...never....why? I don't know.

Heather, I like your post.:) It makes me think alot...What about you?
:)
 

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Heather Bob
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Discussion Starter · #3 ·
Lucie, :hugz: Her statement really has made me think too! I do believe that when something is wrong or bothering me I can go overboard in other areas. I can so relate to the crafts and projects. I sometimes think if I did "this" well then it would make me feel better but then it ends up I have an unfinished project laying around not done so therefore I have more stuff in my house plus am upset that I haven't finished it!! CJ has said in simplifying her life (which I am getting better at and is an area that is ongoing) she has picked a few choice hobbies and do only that. I think that is such a wise thing to do because then you can concentrate on that craft and do well at it and not have tons of piles laying around of things that aren't getting done.

Lucie, you mentioned drawing, maybe that could be one thing, I bet you are wonderful at it!!

The more I read the above statement the more emotional a topic I think it is. I also believe it is a cylce.....clutter...therefore your mind is not clear....therefore goals are not focused on. I know that myself, when things are in order and the house is tidy I can take on the world and feel very confident, when things get out of hand it is hard to get things back to normal and I don't feel as creative!! kwim!
 

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Oh, Heather...I understand completely how you feel when you say you want to do a project to make you feel better. Those thoughts are always in my mind, when I want to do something. I see myself as a good mother, cooking everything from scratch, gsrdening, canning, cross-stitching, sewing, quilting, volunteering, and on and on and on...(oof, I'm tired just writing it all! lol ) I want to create the perfect home, cosy and warm, just like the one I dreamed as a child. But instead I am running around trying to do it all!

Like you, I have so many unfinished projects...I have a finished cross-stitch I made for my 1 st born, 15 ago, which I still did not put in a frame...*sigh* This makes me sad. That's one example.

I used to draw alot 4 years ago, then stopped completely, since I'm too busy wanting to do all the other stuff...

I admire CJ for simplifying her life and being able to chose just a few hobbies.:) She inspires me so much...Maybe we will be able to do that one day, Heather?

So, how do you try to change, Heather? Or how do you try to deal with this? Have you had some little victories in decluttering your life?

I've been trying hard to declutter mine, but I just bring just so much in my life! lol But I do want to simplify so much...It's another dream of mine. I want to have time to breath and appreciate my life better.

It's nice talking to you, Heather!:hugz: I will talk to you, tomorrow....i am going to bed....i am tired. :)
 

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Well ladies I'm sure you knew I would agree with that statement.

I personally think the more clutter you have, the more cluttered your mind and thoughts are and its an ongoing cycle that needs to be broken. Not only is everything around you cluttered but I find everything inside you is cluttered too. Simplicity is not an easy journey, but its well worth persuing in baby steps.

One of the first things I did when I started my journey into simplicity was learn to enjoy "stillness". Its a very hard thing to do when you have clutter everywhere. That was one of my main reasons to get rid of stuff, I wanted so desperately to learn to listen to the silence.

I started with a very small area and then went from there. When it came to hobbies I had so many that I never got anything done, never became really good at anyone thing. Everything went out except my quilting.

Lucie, I think you need to start very small. I'm a firm believer in baby steps. Lets take a look at hobbies. You said you can draw but haven't done it in a very long time. My suggestion would be to put all the other hobbies away, and take 15 minutes every other day (or a specific time during the week) and just start. If it means rising earlier in the morning, then do it. Find a little area that is specific to drawing. Make it a special area when you can begin to feel the artistic side come out. So often we have our hobbies, here, there and everywhere. No wonder we can't settle down to just one or two.

Then take another step. Lucie it will come. I'm here, right behind you, cheering you on.
 

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Oh, thank-you, CJ:hugz: I will try that...baby steps.

I have a question. Why is it so hard to let go of some things or projects? I know I would be happier to draw and paint, but I also want to cross-stitch, sew and eventually(actually, I would want to do it now), quilt. So why do I hold on to all of these? Plus I'm not really doing any of them right now, being too busy, or making myself too busy...
 

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Lucie, thats a great question and one I can only answer for myself. I think each individual is different and each individual person has to look deep within to see why.

For myself, holding on to things went back - way back to my childhood. Suffice it to say I had a horrible childhood where nothing was mine, no toys, very few clothes and very few friends.

So when I was able to make money of my own and then had money in our marriage, I purchased most of what I didn't have and then more, to make up for what I lacked as a child. I made friends that drained the energy from me and who often used me.

When I look back now, its almost like weight loss. Like Oprah says, "its more than the food", I think clutter is also "more than clutter". We need to look inside to see why that clutter is there - painful at times but again well worth it.


In regards to hobbies - there is nothing wrong with wanting to learn more than one or two hobbies. Its when those hobbies take control and we have every new hobby that comes around and there is usually 2-3 every new year, and when we don't get those hobbies learnt or finished, that were on to the next one and the last one remains with all the clutter that comes with it.
Society tells us we need to learn all these hobbies - go into a hobby store and see how many hobbies there are. We don't need them all, we just "think" we do. I was one of the very worse at that and spent thousands of needless $$ but I wanted to keep up with everyone else and make myself look at in my "mother's" eyes.

I'm not saying to not do hobbies here. For me, I found that learning one that I truly loved and learning it well gives me more of a high, than having umpteen hobbies ever did. For me, I needed to learn which hobby I loved the most and went for it gunho. Will I ever learn another hobby - probably, but it won't be one that society says is the "hobby of the year". It'll be one I've researched and becomes a part of who I am. It more than likely will be "doll making" because I collect porcelain dolls.

Does any of this make sense for you?
 

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:) Yes, it does, CJ. I think I know why I can't let go. One of my fears is to regret something, if I do let go of what I am holding on. What do you think about that? Have you had those fears?
 

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Thank you CJ, Lucie, and Heather, you are all making perfect sense to me. You have all got me thinking and yes my crafting is a substitie for a lot of things lacking in my life.

I purchased enough fabric 2 years ago to make new curtains (7 windows) and slipcovers for my living room. All I have done so far is wash the fabric!! I love to sew, it is my first love, but can't seem to just do it!!

I have boxes, large bins, closets, part of a shed and and entire sewing room full of crafting stuff!!!! I do need to pick only a couple and stick with them.

CJ, I know what you mean by spending $$$ on crafting supplies. I have spent that and then some over the years.

Whenever I get interested in something I go completely overboard with whatever that craft (or computer another one of my downfalls) needs, instead of keeping it simple until I decided if I like it.

Thank you for making me think. Hopefully I will now get off my duff and do something.

Good luck Heather and Lucie, I think CJ has some
great ideas! :grouphug:
 

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Oh, Diana!:hugz: Take the time to sew if you love it! I know I'm bad at taking my advice, but do it, Diana, sew your curtains...:heartsm:
 

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Lucie, yes I've felt that too, but I've had to learn to overcome that. Its interesting, in everything I've let go, I've not regretted having done so.

I had to let go of some friends and when I look back now, that was one of the best things I did. The friends I now have are the greatest.

Things I've let go of and given away, I've never needed again. It just has worked out that way. I've learnt if I need them again, I can either borrow them from a friend or probably find at a yard sale for next to nothing.

For myself, I guess it comes with age, I learnt I didn't have to "impress my mom" by learning everything hobby that came along, that she is just as proud of me with my quilt making as she was when I was doing a thousand hobbies and never learning one right. Its funny, but she always tells her friends, "cj can do anything she tries". Shes proud of who I've become, not of what I make - she just doesn't know that.

Letting go of our fears isn't easy, its something we have to work at daily I think. My suggestion would be to let one hobby go. Give away everything that pertains to that hobby and see how it feels. I can promise it'll make you feel great and if you decide at a later date to try that hobby, so what if you have to purchase everything again. Its a choice we all can choose to make. Will I keep all these hobbies and never accomplish one or will I give them away, one by one, until I can do a few of them great!!!

Its interesting you talk about fears, because my greatest fear right now is "losing weight". I know why but I've decided that I can keep this weight on for the remainder of my life, living with the fear forever, feeling horrible healthwise, or I can do something about it, lose my weight and learn how to deal with what comes along after the weight is lost, kwim. Its the same with clutter, its a choice we need to make and then stick with it no matter what.
 

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I will try that...let go of one craft or project, that I know I won't be doing in the near futur. I have to think about it first. I'll let you know what I did.:)

Fear...what an emotion! CJ, I wish you that you can always advance towards your goal to lose weight, even if it gets tough. I can see that you are determined. I know you will acheive your goal.:heartsm: Reading you with your determination, in the *Live for Life Program* is starting to motivate me to not adandon that dream, too, to lose weight. Thanks CJ.:hugz:
 

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Heather Bob
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Discussion Starter · #13 ·
I have so much to say but have to go right now. Letting you all know how much I appreciate your opinions on this topic!!:smball:
 
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