[bamamomto4]

I was surfing lastnight and came across a blog...as I read her pages I learnt she had lost a baby in 2002 (he was born at 26 weeks because he had passed away inside her ) that took an IVF to become pregnant. Her DR's has told her, her chances of getting pregnant are very slim Having 4 kids myself,I just couldn't imagine not be able to have children. I felt so bad for this lady.She's about my age (31). Could you imagine being told you'd never have children? It was so sad.... I cried and cried for her and her hubby....

Anyways--I was thinking it'd be great if she could find a surrogate.Then I thought "Could I do that??"  Even knowing the baby wasn't mine,it'd be hard to give it up after feeling it move inside me for 9 months.........

Could you be a surrogate??

 

[bamamomto4]

I should add.......after having Ashley I had a lot of female problems and was told I wouldn't be able to get pregnant without fertility drugs. Ashley and Katie are 9 years apart because of that. I took Clomid with katie and Jackson.
Jayme is truly our miracle baby

 

[heavensent_7]

I have five living children and I've had seven.

If I couldn't have had children I'd have been devastated and I really feel for these ladies.

Having said that I KNOW I couldn't surrogate. Firstly the baby WOULD be mine, (assuming it was my egg they used) and even if I was only carrying and giving birth I still couldn't do it.

I have to say I don't personally agree with abortion (another subject I know) or sperm donors (what if brothers and sisters meet and marry??), choosing the sex, intellect, look of your baby by medical intervention. My personal list goes on and on.

I KNOW it's EASY for me to have opinions when I've been lucky enough to have more than my fair share of kids and I'm sure opinions can raise heated debates.

Sorry I'm digressing! - Surogacy - I personally couldn't do it - I just am not capable of handing over a new born (thats' my favourite bit out of pregnacy and child rearing)

 

[sixfreds]

I have been there, having trouble having children and like you said Tammy it is so hard when you want a baby so bad but can't seem to have one..

But I don't think I could be a surrogate, I have had 4 rough pregancies, 2 that ended in miscarrage.
And that is rough enough I don't think that after I had a baby I could give it to someone else..

I want to say that surrogate mothers do a great thing for people who can't have children for whatever reason but I just don't think that I could do that at least not at this point of my life.

Eileen

 

[Darlene]

Before I had children I thought I could. After having them, I know I couldn't.

 

[SewCrafty]

I couldn't.

I am one of those women who couldn't have children. I asked 2 of my sisters and a niece to do this for me. It was hard for me to ask and hard for them to say no.

 

[KKCondrey]

At ths point in time I don't think I could. Now if it was someone I knew and not a random stranger I would way the pro's and con's of it. In the end I would like to think I would do the right thing by all parties involved. However, I would probably still have to say no.

 

[mommy2three]

that is a very tough question. after having 3 kids, i know how attached a mom is to her newborn. i probably couldn't do it, but if it were someone VERY close to me that asked, i would seriously consider it.

 

[dz_blonde_girl]

Nope, I just couldn't.

 

[AmyMCGS]

No way, I couldn't handle giving away that child, even though mentally I would know it wasn't really mine.

Physically, I couldn't do it anyway. It took us three years to get pregnant with Maria, I was seriously sick for the entire seven and a half months that I carried her, and she was a preemie.

 

[isaacsmommy]

Well, maybe I'm the minority, but I think I could do it. I would definitely consider it for a family member - a stranger would be more difficult.

 

[qponfanatic]

I've carried 7 babies -
2 died almost immediately after birth from an undiagnosed issue...
1 was a miscarriage at 27 weeks....
3 are here with me...
1 was placed for adoption...
and now, I've had a total hysterectomy....

I should also add that through a difficult situation between GW & I - one of the babies that is now my baby, I did not give birth to - as rough as this has been at times, I look at that other individual as a type of surrogate....(hey, helps me deal sometimes!)

If I were still able, I would gladly carry a child for a family member who could not conceive any other way...one - because I see the joy that the "non-bio" child of mine has continually given our family and two - I see the joy that the child that was adopted gives to that family....

I don't think I could do it to pay the bills though - helping family is one thing, becoming a baby factory is quite another!

rambling check - yep, I am.....

 

[lucy979]

No, I could not do it.

 

[homesteadmamma]

I'd have to say a resounding no. I was a foster mom for 6 years and had 23 kids go through my home, mostly babies. And each baby got harder and harder to give up, either to adoption or for them to go back to their family.

It would be even harder giving up a child you've carried for 9 mos. I couldn't imagine doing it.

 

[paelthom]

Nope, just couldn't do it. I was so attached to DD by the time I delivered her that there was no way I could have let her go. I waited a long time to have her and knew that she would be the only 1. Just couldn't do it even for family.

 

[qponfanatic]

I couldn't do it. While my heart aches for women who are unable to bear children, I could never hand over a child that I carried for 9 months in me to anyone. That baby would be mine in every way.
That being said, there are so many children that are up for adoption that need good and loving homes. That is the route that friends have taken and those children are just as much "their's" as any that have or could have been born to them. I deeply admire and respect women who find themselves in a situation where they are unable to care for their babies who seek out good homes for their children and place them up for adoption.

 

[aylasmommy]

Oh yes I would have done it in a heartbeat for anyone (that had gone through those homestudies/background checks etc) Now that I am marrried I would only do it for my sister or one of my close cousins.

Actually with giving up my first baby for adoption, I feel like I was a surrogate mom. I feel like she belonged to them as soon as I told them I wanted to go through with the adoption. Oh boy it was hard saying goodbye. I cried so hard my whole body shook and I didn't get over it for a long time. But the thought of me alone, having a manic episode and no one else around really really scared me. I knew I just couldn't do it alone. And I knew they were soooo much more equiped to raise her than I was.

 

[bamamomto4]

Oh Heather..I am SOOOOOO sorry :hugz: