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Where would you/have you gone to find quality guys that understand the frugal lifestyle?

How do you approach the topic? Are you up front and honest from the beginning, or do you hide it so's not to scare 'em off?

Recently got back in the dating game and am having a hard time finding quality guys who are down with being "cheap". (You'd think that for all the ones who complain about girlfriends/wives spending too much they'd be pleased.)
 

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Male perspective,

Unless you are upfront with them, that you are OK with them throwing a buy one get one free coupon on the table after dinner you are not going to see it. Guys are affraid to save money while dating. We have been conditioned to impress with money.

Just because he may seem to be a spend thrift does not mean he is.

Good luck. Thank god I am happily married.
 

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I think I would agree!!
Be up front and honest with them and thank god I am married too!!
Good luck
Mommy
 

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I tend to spend way to much when I date. So I dont anymore. LOL. When I did I did not let him pay every time, and offered to pay something everytime, but one date wanted to go to fancy play/dinner/drinks/dancing that was $120 a person I spoke up. We ended up grabbing lunch walking by lake and renting a movie. That I can handle!
 

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GOOOOOOOD Question!!
I am not sure where you go to meet quality/frugal guys. I am single. I joined a couple dating services and guys seem a little intimidated that I mentioned in my profile that I would like to be matched with someone who is frugal and that I attempt to live/follow Dave Ramsey's money management style. I just do not want a spend drift and I placed this quality as one of the "must haves" in a prospective partner.
 

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When he asks you what you like to do tell him. Saving money where you can is alot of fun for you and you enjoy the finer things in life that are mostly free for the taking.

I would think guys that are into hiking, biking, canoeing etc would be more into spending time outdoors rather than on things. Add a nice picnic and you have it all.
 

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Dave Ramsey's website need's a "singles forum" category... ;)
 

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I actually ask for someone frugal in my profile. I have also done searches on the word on sites that have this capability. My last couple of dates could barely pay for their half of the evening. I always go with enough money to cover my portion of the evening because I don't feel that someone has to buy my company for the evening. That is conceited.

As for broaching the topic of frugality. I mention thrift store shopping. I also mention I am a member of Sierra Club and into green living. Then I mention Dave Ramsey and talk about getting out of debt. This is usually enough to get them talking. The one that was the most open with me also turned out to be the one in the biggest amount of trouble. Tens of thousands in medical bills he never paid a penny on, 4 defaulted credit cards, 1 repo, 1 bankruptcy, late on payments regularly, driving around without insurance for 6 months, the list goes on and on. I demand someone compatible here and will not settle. I WOULD RATHER BE ALONE!
 

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No need to pay for online dating, check out dating4disabled.com, plentyoffish.com and okcupid.com. Absolutely no charge and the same functionality as match.com, eharmony.com and yahoo personals.
 

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misscas, the last guy I dated was frugal, alright, but only when it came to dating. He also had a history of frequent bouts of unemployment and a bankruptcy. I don't care how charming and attentive a guy is, if he can't hold down a job for long or is desperate to move in with me even though he isn't working most of the time, I don't want to go on a picnic or to the dollar movies with him either!
 

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Ok, Im not in the dating world anymore, but I still get asked out alot...so I figure I must be doing something right...or maybe wrong since I married! :)

They key to finding frugal men is to be friendly and chat men up at the places you go that are frugal. I went to a bar with a single friend a few months back and I found that her main problem was that she was too shy around men. I think that is the biggest reason she doesn't meet men, is becuase she waits for them to talk to her first. She won't take the initiative and even say hi!

If you are in Aldi's and you see a handsome man in the produce section...chat him up. Out taking a hike, and see a group of guys make some random comment about how at least the economy hasn't effected the beauty of the hiking trails. Don't worry about being to forward or looking silly...you never have to see them again, if you don't hit it off!

I talk to people where ever I go, and I meet alot of interesting people that way. I tend to go to "frugal" places, so I also tend to meet frugal people!
 

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I noticed that my bf took me to free salsa dancing nights and would suggest we have a drink at someone's home beforehand. It was a nice way to meet his friends, and it was a nice way to notice that he was frugal.
 

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I noticed that my bf took me to free salsa dancing nights and would suggest we have a drink at someone's home beforehand. It was a nice way to meet his friends, and it was a nice way to notice that he was frugal.
Salsa dancing :hubba: & he's not afraid to have you meet his friend. Way cool!:perfect:
 

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I agree with being honest. If you don't want to come right out and say it, then start suggesting date ideas that involve little or no money. My best dates have been at home, watching dvds and playing board games...lol. I think we're both more ourselves in that kinda setting, rather than more formal and uncomfortable at a restraunt doing the traditional dating things.
 

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He's my husband now!
 

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I noticed that my bf took me to free salsa dancing nights and would suggest we have a drink at someone's home beforehand. It was a nice way to meet his friends, and it was a nice way to notice that he was frugal.
Does he have a brother???
Just asking!!!!!!!!!!!
 

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Male perspective,

Unless you are upfront with them, that you are OK with them throwing a buy one get one free coupon on the table after dinner you are not going to see it. Guys are affraid to save money while dating. We have been conditioned to impress with money.

Just because he may seem to be a spend thrift does not mean he is.

Good luck. Thank god I am happily married.
I agree 100%
 

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I'm totally open about my finances, meaning I don't give numbers out but I'm a single mom who just bought my own home, etc etc.

When I get asked where I want to go I almost always suggest a place that I have a coupon or gift certificate for. AND I always go for my wallet when the check comes offering to pay or pay half or leave the tip or something. 9 times out of 10 if its the first few times you go out, the guy will always say no but if it starts to be a regular thing they well eventually say yes to your offer.

Restaurant.com is a great place to buy gift certificates. the past two weeks they had promotions with 80% off $25 G.C. I think I got $75 worth of G.C. for $7 change. (they charge a handling fee). Just remember to read the restrictions!
 

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Honesty is always good. By hiding it, you're misrepresenting yourself and essentially telling the boy that you'll be someone that you're not. Kind of like the used car salesman who just had his mechanic spend three hours prepping something in order to say "It runs great!" Another way, if a boy liked you, but was a real spender, but his friends told him you were frugal so before every date he used his credit card to get a cash advance to impress you with paying for the date with cash out of a "Date" envelope, how would you feel when you learned what was really going on?

You could always join an FPU class and take guys there as a date and see what the discussion is afterward. For that matter, since FPU is a lifetime membership, just keep enrolling and taking guys there on dates until you find someone who finds their inner gazelle - then you can read Song of Songs to each other over candlelight and ... ;)

When I was single I thought that folks who said that relationships happen when not sought were full of something I'm about to go clean up (see my plumbing thread elsewhere if you really need more details). Then within a couple weeks of deciding to throw in the towel and just live alone with the odd one-night stand I met she who is now my wife. "You can't hurry love" and all - lots of truth in that oldie.

Better to hold out than to settle. Read some of the other threads in the other sub-forums of Family to get some ideas of situation you really don't want to find.

Talk to the boys that your not-frugal girlfriends don't notice. The guy driving the beater that he can afford. The boy who only has time to go out with you for early morning breakfast because he's working every night and weekends to put himself through school. (No idea how old you are, substitute other examples as needed.)

Don't be afraid to say "Hi there" to guys who are taking the time to figure out which unit price is best at the grocery store. Take action - if you wait for the boy to talk to you, you might only find narcissistic loudmouths. Do keep in mind that many men who end being very loyal are often shy and intimidated by pretty girls. Would you rather be married to the boy who flirts with everything on two legs or the boy who will appreciate from a distance, wistfully smile and then come home knowing that what is is worth more than a container ship full of might-have-beens?
 
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