[MrsHutto]

Last month, my husband came home from work and told me he was unhappy and wanted a divorce. After further discussion, I realized he did not want me there. {background - We've been married two years, and built the house 10 months ago. His name is on the mortgage and both of our names are on the deed.} Without seeking legal advice, I assumed I had to leave because the mortgage was in his name; so, I left (around Feb. 10). Since, my friends and co-workers have told me that he cannot legally kick me out of the home, as it is our marital property. I contacted a lawyer and the local sheriff's department, whom both confirmed that fact.

Now, here's where it gets messy. I left on a Thursday evening, and we did not speak until Sunday afternoon. He began texting/calling constantly, telling me how much he loved me and that he was going to work on his "issues". He spoke to our pastor and we had been going to church together. We had decided that I would be moving back in this coming weekend to repair our marriage. I stayed over last Thursday night, only to wake up to a different man. He decided he no longer wanted to be married and left for the beach with his friend. With no contact during the weekend, he came home on Sunday night and deleted me from Facebook and changed his status to "single". I went to the house yesterday, to retrieve something I had left behind, only to realize he had changed the locks to our home. At this point, I started researching my rights (calling lawyers and legal officials) and discovered that I am entitled to live in my home, just as much as he is. Therefore, I came to the conclusion that when I get home next week (as I am out of state for work, this week), I will call a locksmith to let me in the house, and begin living there again. I'm currently staying at my mother's house, but it's not exactly ideal, and furthermore, I'm entitled to live in my home!

A part of me feels terrible for even typing this, much less going through with it. Would you allow your spouse to deny you of your home if they wanted a separation/divorce?

 

[fernykins]

No I wouldn't but that is me. He wants you out make him pay you half of what the house is worth.
Fern

 

[NikoSan999]

No I wouldn't but that is me. He wants you out make him pay you half of what the house is worth.
Fern

What she said. If both parties can't come to an agreement, from what I've always saw, the judge will say sell the house and split the proceeds. OR one can buy the other out.

 

[Russ]

The question is: How much equity is in the home?

I'm sorry you are going through this.

 

[NikoSan999]

The question is: How much equity is in the home?

I'm sorry you are going through this.

True...forgot only 10 months old. Nothing from nothing is ... nothing.

 

[Mr Fixit]

Well if you have a job and good credit, I would be temted to let him have the house since there is no equity there to begin with. You probbaly can't afford the payments, ( assumption may not be true ).
So just find a nice apartment or buy a small house that makes you happy, and try to get an equitable divorce since this was all his idea in the first place.
I know, I am a man, and should be on his side but this sounds like he has either found somebody else, or just does not know what he wants out of life and those are all his problems!
Be sure to get half of the furniture!

 

[Greebo]

Yes, you have a legal right to half the house - but only AFTER the bank has its right to get repaid. With no equity, you not being on the mortgage...and a husband showing signs that he is crazy...

The purely practical look at this says to me, "Sign a quit claim and walk away free and clear."

You aren't on the mortgage, and like others said, there's probably NO value in the house right now, so get it appraised to confirm this assumption, and if that's correct, GTFO. Relinquish all ownership (and responsibility) for the house to him and ditch the nut... let HIM suffer struggling to maintain the payments, etc.

 

[Greebo]

And by the way - I'm sorry you're going through this - but since all this is happening, this IS the time to set emotion aside and think with purely practical "what's best for me in the long term" thinking. You'll be better off making a hard choice now that hurts for a while than an easy choice now that hurts forever.

 

[Darlene]

:yeah: Was this really a sudden thing? If so, has he had a medical check up lately? He may need one.
My best to you.

 

[MrsHutto]

1. There's no equity in the home. The house is worth less than we owe on it.

2. I can afford the home, by myself. I have financially supported my husband for the entirety of our marriage. [Not because he doesn't work, but because I make more than he does and his spending is frivolous, to say the least.]

3. I have been advised NOT to sign a quit claim deed, until I receive the divorce decree (if that's the direction we're heading).


Just so everyone knows...

No, I do not want a divorce (or a separation, for that matter). However, my logic behind moving back into the marital home is not to make him fall in love with me again. I know, full well, when he realizes he cannot make me leave, he will leave. Basically, I just want to go home; regardless of whether he's there, or not.

 

[MrsHutto]

:yeah: Was this really a sudden thing? If so, has he had a medical check up lately? He may need one.
My best to you.

It was sudden. We were doing great, and he came home one night and told me he wasn't happy. I left, we were doing great a few days later, and he suddenly changed his mind about the reconciliation.

He has always displayed bipolar tendencies, but he refuses to actually be tested for it. He did go to a counselor, last year, for a few weeks. It helped him control his anger, but his constant indecisiveness has remained consistent throughout the course of our marriage, and relationship.

 

[Russ]

I'd almost be inclined to get him to sign the quit claim deed.

 

[Mr Fixit]

Go home and let him move out! Get the divorce as soon as possible, and move on! I didn't know you could afford the house so that make it all different.
Go home ans stick to your guns! From what you have said, you will be better off without him, and hopefully you will find a guy that will work, and love you for who you are!

Good luck!

 

[Missourimom]

I can't speak for you, but I couldn't live there with him. What if he won't leave either? Is he capable of hurting you?

I'm the kind of person who would walk away from it and set myself up in an apartment or small house. I can't stand confrontation like that. I know if my husband ever did that, I'd be done with this house and all the maintenance involved and move....probably south.

 

[MrsHutto]

I'd almost be inclined to get him to sign the quit claim deed.

That's not gonna happen. He firmly believes that house is HIS, and his alone (because my name is not on the mortgage).

 

[MrsHutto]

I can't speak for you, but I couldn't live there with him. What if he won't leave either? Is he capable of hurting you?

I'm the kind of person who would walk away from it and set myself up in an apartment or small house. I can't stand confrontation like that. I know if my husband ever did that, I'd be done with this house and all the maintenance involved and move....probably south.

If he's really done with me, and our marriage, he will leave. He's the running type. He NEVER deals with his problems head-on...never has. Unless he has grown some rather large cajones over the past month, I'm not worried about him hurting me. In fact, an attempt at physical abuse, on his part, would simply seal the deal for me - and him, for that matter. I cannot say for certain what he would, or would not do, but I can say violence would not be a smart move for him to make.

 

[Greebo]

That's not gonna happen. He firmly believes that house is HIS, and his alone (because my name is not on the mortgage).

He's wrong. Plain and simple. Any lawyer will tell you that for free.

The mortgage means he owns the DEBT on the house.

The deed determines who owns the house itself.

What *HE* owns is all the liability, but not all the asset.

 

[Greebo]

1. There's no equity in the home. The house is worth less than we owe on it.

So you're not at any risk. Good.

2. I can afford the home, by myself. I have financially supported my husband for the entirety of our marriage. [Not because he doesn't work, but because I make more than he does and his spending is frivolous, to say the least.]

That's emotional baggage.

3. I have been advised NOT to sign a quit claim deed, until I receive the divorce decree (if that's the direction we're heading).

Oh I agree, don't sign anything until and if you actually divorce. I'm just saying, for you, financially, walking away from the money loser is the smart move. You come away free and clear, he comes away with a buttload of debt and a future foreclosure/bankruptcy, all brought on himself by himself.

No, I do not want a divorce (or a separation, for that matter). However, my logic behind moving back into the marital home is not to make him fall in love with me again. I know, full well, when he realizes he cannot make me leave, he will leave. Basically, I just want to go home; regardless of whether he's there, or not.

Sure, as long as you have ownership, you should protect your interests. But do you really want to carry this house all on your own? Is it worth that fight? That's up to you to decide.

 

[Mr Fixit]

Well the motgage holder issue could be settled in the divorce proceedings. So if you want the house, since he obviously cant afford it, try to make that part of the final settlement.
Whaddya think Greebo??

 

[Greebo]

Well the motgage holder issue could be settled in the divorce proceedings.

The Judge can order the mortgage to be refinanced or the house bought out, but the Judge cannot supersede the mortgage. The debt obligation remains 100% upon the husband until a new mortgage is in place. In this case, it works in her favor. USUALLY the situation is husband and wife are both on the mortgage, they divorce, and one gets the house but the other is still liable to the bank for it.

So if you want the house, since he obviously cant afford it, try to make that part of the final settlement.
Whaddya think Greebo??

If she wants the house and can afford it, sure. IF he's determined to fight, there's other houses out there she can afford.