[mommy4ever]

I'm getting scolded on a regular basis because I don't do anything for me.

Dh has said it is now time that I take time out for me. He wants me to get more physically active. I'm not sure what!

He said anything, yoga, pilates, gym membership, just get out and do something.

But I don't know. I loved karate and tae kwon do, but loved learning the patterns of movement not the sparring. I used to swim, but dread the thought of putting on a swim suit.

I'm nearly in tears cause I don't know what to do!

Dh said I have sacrificed enough, now the kids can start reciprocating by watching their younger sister, if one of the others have their sports. I have 3 that are old enough to do so.

I need to get moving, but I don't know what!!!

 

[Greebo]

While, as an Objectivist, I am fully behind acting on Rational Self-Interest (rational selfishness), I'm a little confused about something...

How are you doing it "for you" (selfishly) if you do it because he tells you to?

 

[mommy4ever]

I don't HAVE to do anything. I have wanted to for a long time. I started last year. I took a session of karate, earned a yellow belt, but not with out cost, bruised ribs. I also trained to run a 5K, but ended up having to walk, as i twisted my ankle pretty bad, But I finished it.

I let it all go, because we got busy with the kids stuff. He get frustrated because I don't try. I'm home all day, every day with the kids. I homeschool, run a home daycare. I used to take classes, now I just don't. He is just concerned as I don't talk to anyone but the kids and him. I have also gained significant amount of weight, so he wants to make it easy for me to get moving and get healthy.

He's not bullying me. He's encouraging me, and I agree... I need to get out and be something other than mom.

 

[Trishagirl]

How about Tai Chi you won't get hurt with that. Yoga is good also.

 

[Judi Dial]

Or mat pilates. You don't have to have any equipment for that, no balls, nothing, just you and a mat. It's what the physical therapist recommended for me... I have a bad back/shoulder and can only swim or use a stationary bike otherwise.

IHTH!

Judi

 

[Greebo]

Ok, fair enough. Just wanted to be sure.

 

[Guest]

I will second yoga or tai chi. You won't lose tons of weight and get super fit, but at least for me I feel a lot better (more energy, less stress, more flexibility).

 

[CrazyCat]

do you have a curves near you? that would be a great place to start. ~Jazzercise classes? Those are fun...you can move at your own pace..(as long as your in the back row)

 

[imagine]

If you loved the learning the patterns of movement but not the sparring of karate and tae kwon do. You might enjoy a ballet class.

Doing even the at barr excercise of ballet feels so good to me, very rhythmic and oh so hard to desire the feeling. You might enjoy the challenge of it too.

If you can't find an adult class or would not enjoy it. I would suggest other movement oriented exercises like yoga.

 

[MomToTwoBoys]

I'm not certain where they have one (if they have one in Edmonton), but I do know that Good Life Fitness has a really great workout facility. They have all sorts of classes with everything you'd love to do. You can also go and just hang out in the steam room, do some running, bike yourself silly or even do light weights.

Are you having a bit of separation anxiety as far as the kids are concerned? Perhaps it'll take you longer to get into things for yourself because you've been doing things for the kids for so long.

I was that way. I had real issues with even going to the grocery store without the kids. I felt like I was doing them an injustice by doing things for me first at times.

I started out small by simply going to the mall. Getting out and having lunch by myself is one of my favorite things to do. Now? If I wanted to go away for the weekend, I could... if things were better financially.

 

[Russ]

Do something for yourself... That doesn't say "exercise" to me. Do whatever the heck you want! Go get a massage, go to the movies with a GF. Whatever.

Do you have "fun money" for you and the DH in your budget? If not, why not?

 

[mauimagic]

What a supportive DH - how thoughtful and loving.

What great ideas too - I'm at the water exercising and stationary bike only - but after reading other ideas I may give some yoga and pilates a try too. Would love to dance with Richard Simmons but the joints are not happy with it - and I need to learn gentle movements.

Please let us know what you decide to put on your menu and what you choose.

 

[Russ]

or take a class of some sort. Like crafting or you get the idea.

 

[mommy4ever]

Russ, I have no interest in crafts. It's more likely I could TEACH the class than learn anything..lol. I'm burnt out on the craft scene after having ran a craft business for 10 years.

I am looking at finding a scrapbook class there I'd find my social aspect. But I need to move, I am so on my kids to keep them active to prevent obeisity... and I'm the one getting fat... the irony.

 

[HappyMama]

I agree with the Tai chi suggestions. I love it !

 

[Hamada]

Look into your townships adult evening classes. They are low cost and offer different types of classes. You can also start an after dinner walk around the block or neighborhood include anyone in the family.

Take your time to decide what you want to do. Think back to when you were a kid. What did you like doing? Did you like to rollerskate? Did you like looking at nature. Maybe you could take a walk at a park. I don't think you need to decide right now. Give yourself time to think about what you want to do. How about line dancing? The local mall has walkers in the morning.

 

[Debbie-cat]

I too suggest yoga. What a great husband!

 

[Palooka]

Zumba classes!

 

[Luckybustert]

I'm getting scolded on a regular basis because I don't do anything for me.

Dh has said it is now time that I take time out for me. He wants me to get more physically active. I'm not sure what!

He said anything, yoga, pilates, gym membership, just get out and do something.

But I don't know. I loved karate and tae kwon do, but loved learning the patterns of movement not the sparring. I used to swim, but dread the thought of putting on a swim suit.

I'm nearly in tears cause I don't know what to do!

Dh said I have sacrificed enough, now the kids can start reciprocating by watching their younger sister, if one of the others have their sports. I have 3 that are old enough to do so.

I need to get moving, but I don't know what!!!

My husband wanted me to find something to do too, but I think it's because he needed a little breathing room...lol...I was paying too much attention to him because I didn't have anything else that was really all that important to me. Well, you've heard of be careful what you ask for...lol...I got a hobby (ok, it's more like an obsession...knitting is like that!), made some friends, am on the go a lot, and now he thinks I'm not spending enough time with him. Good golly, make up your mind Mr. Man!

Anyway, I guess my question is whether he wants you to "be selfish" meaning do things you want to do and that you enjoy, or is he just pushing you to exercise because he wants you to stay in shape...if so, then it seems like it's more for him and what does that have to do with you being selfish? Being selfish means you get to decide what you do, doesn't it? You're being scolded for not exercising, not for your lack of selfishness. Personally, this would tick me off....my husband found out long ago that the quickest way to get me to NOT do what he wants is to keep bugging me about it!

 

[mommy4ever]

My husband wanted me to find something to do too, but I think it's because he needed a little breathing room...lol...I was paying too much attention to him because I didn't have anything else that was really all that important to me. Well, you've heard of be careful what you ask for...lol...I got a hobby (ok, it's more like an obsession...knitting is like that!), made some friends, am on the go a lot, and now he thinks I'm not spending enough time with him. Good golly, make up your mind Mr. Man!

Anyway, I guess my question is whether he wants you to "be selfish" meaning do things you want to do and that you enjoy, or is he just pushing you to exercise because he wants you to stay in shape...if so, then it seems like it's more for him and what does that have to do with you being selfish? Being selfish means you get to decide what you do, doesn't it? You're being scolded for not exercising, not for your lack of selfishness. Personally, this would tick me off....my husband found out long ago that the quickest way to get me to NOT do what he wants is to keep bugging me about it!

Oh it's not that I spend all my time focussed on him. We are rarely in the house at the same time all winter with having 4 kids in sports, and dealing with his own team.

Yes, it is partially because he wants me more active, but because I want it. There have been many nights of tears as the scale keeps creeping up. He wants me to find something I LIKE though. Since I am not a team sport player, and will likely be doing something solo, he's suggested doing a scrapbook night , making a movie night with a girlfriend so I can socialize.

He isn't trying to send me away, he wants me first and foremost happy. He worries that I am home alone with the kids most of the time, that I don't involve myself in anything with others. So... we are working on that. BUT, he knows I want to lose weight and be fit, so he's encouraging me to do so. If i don't, he won't say anything, but he's worried, he won't push. He's a great support system. Once I commit, he will move heaven and earth to support me in my goal. Including dealing with the kids.