Frugal Village Forums banner
1 - 18 of 18 Posts

·
Registered
Joined
·
1,344 Posts
Discussion Starter · #1 ·
Did anybody catch Oprah today?
She had parents that give their children everything they want.One little girl had a 345$coach purse AHHHHHHH
I know so many parents that give give give and the kids demand it after a while.My neighbours are like that with their two girls and it amazes me cause my two boys(have alot they are not deprived,but are by no means over indulged)will play during the summer and these two girls will always whine they are bored.Its not a gift in my opinion to give your child everything.I just find it a fascinating subject
Do you all think that you can give your child too much?
 

·
Technical Support Sleuth
Joined
·
6,481 Posts
I didn't get a chance to watch it.

But here are my thoughts: there is a difference between spoiling a child and spoiling your child.

You can give your child everything that you can but if you raise them correctly, they will still be grateful, generous, loving etc.

If you raise them wrong and give them whatever there heart desire's, then they'll grow up to be entitled brats.

Just my opinion.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
1,902 Posts
wow a $345.00 coach purse, what i could do with that $$$$$$!!!
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
36 Posts
I think there is a definate point of overindulgance. Give your kids things, yes, but teach them to appreciate those things. Don't give them so much that they expect to get everthing they want. This just doesn't prepare them for real life. Isn't that the whole goal of raising children is to prepare them for what is to come? Kids need to EARN things, not just be given everything. JMO:grouphug2
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
3,373 Posts
I saw that Oprah episode today. I couldn't believe the four year old with the diamond earrings. Was she the same little girl with the cell phone and coach purse? I liked the point that when these kids grow up they are going to be disappointed when they don't always get what they want. I think there are some good life lessons to be learned from doing without or having to save for wants. (I think that goes for people of all ages though)
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
871 Posts
i know this woman who was brought up in a very wealthy family. She was given everything and anything she wanted while growing up. As an adult she has repeatedly found it hard to live the lifestyle that she was accustomed to. The result was that she can never pay a bill on time, has her utilities shut off , still borrows from daddy, and her life is a wreck. She and her husband have problems,.....but.....she tries to give her own children the same lifestyle that she had even though her husband does not make a 10th of what her father did. Ironic isn't? We really need to look how we present life to our children, for they can possibly mirror us....sometimes for the good and sometimes for the bad!
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
4,726 Posts
I didn't get a chance to watch it.

But here are my thoughts: there is a difference between spoiling a child and spoiling your child.

You can give your child everything that you can but if you raise them correctly, they will still be grateful, generous, loving etc.

If you raise them wrong and give them whatever there heart desire's, then they'll grow up to be entitled brats.

Just my opinion.
:yeah: I totally agree. :yeah:
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
1,344 Posts
Discussion Starter · #11 ·
Yes the little girl with diamonds also had a cell phone and coach purse.I had to laugh cause I dont think my entire wardrobe costs 345$ lolol
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
6,281 Posts
Ive had friends years ago who had to keep up with the Jonses. And if theyre kids whined enough they got it. Theyre brats all grown up now. and still expect life to come to them, and the world should be at their door step.
I was blessed with very little money and it was hard sometimes when the kids were babies, but we have many great moments in our lifes. and my kids dont take even dollar things given to them from anyone for granted or what they do for them.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
9,412 Posts
I didn't get a chance to watch it.

But here are my thoughts: there is a difference between spoiling a child and spoiling your child.

You can give your child everything that you can but if you raise them correctly, they will still be grateful, generous, loving etc.

If you raise them wrong and give them whatever there heart desire's, then they'll grow up to be entitled brats.

Just my opinion.
I totally agree and dont even need to add anything!
 

·
Premium Member
Joined
·
3,898 Posts
IMO a 4 year old does not "want" diamond earrings and designer purses. Her mother has taught her that those things have some significance and that she should have them.

When I was growing up, I can honestly not think of a single thing that I wanted and did not recieve. My brother and I were pretty much given anything we wanted, the difference is, we didn't want much. We usually had to wait for something, but if I wanted a walkman for christmas, I could be fairly certain that I would get one.

We did not grow up with any sense of entitlement, because our parents did not act like they were entitled. We weren't wealthy, but we were relatively well off. My parents never drove fancy cars or wore designer clothes; when things broke my father fixed them; we didn't have the latest gadgets until my father was certain they were around to stay; my parents gave generously to others and lived a modest lifestyle with an occasional, well planned splurge.

Children learn by example. We were never exposed to a shallow wasteful lifestyle, so it would have never occurred to us to want shallow wasteful things. So, personally I don't think that the problem is in giving your children what they want, but rather in teaching them to want the right things.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
1,344 Posts
Discussion Starter · #15 ·
These kids were to the extreme as well.the 4 yr old had over 5000$ in dolls and got a pedicure every two weeks,now come on.
You can give your kids things but there is an extreme.The doctor on the show said give your kids your time and love not stuff.He said teach the kids to enjoy the ordinary and make it extrodinary.
Unfortunatley not all parents who give give give also teach their kids to be wonderful responsible adults.
I dont think that under any circumstances does a child need a 300$ purse and cell phone.Just my opinion
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
127 Posts
When I taught Sunday School several years ago, the kids were discussing the allowances they get ... one got $25 a week or something like that; and from what I gathered didnt have to do much, if anything to earn the money. It was just a given.

They looked at me like I was crazy when I told them I NEVER got an allowance; and birthdays was a cake and Mom would get us a small present; maybe two. The big stuff was for Christmas; and even then, we were limited.

Mom bought us some things between times, but it was stuff like coloring books and crayons or books or in my brother's case a hot wheels car. That was her way of paying us for the chores we did around the house.

Then, when I explained that we only got to wear name-brand jeands/clothes if we went out and earned the money ourselves to buy them (at that time the jeans only cost about $20 something) I really got the looks!

I never cared for the brandnames, but my sister babysat to buy whatever jeans were popular at that time. I spent any money I earned on books :D
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
373 Posts
Here in Finland we tend to be very proud of our Nokia cell phones. I am pretty sure every first grader has one. But we start school at the age of seven. Even we think four is too early.

iida
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
539 Posts
OK, here's my opinion. I have huge problems with spoiled bratty kids who get whatever they want. If some people would open their eyes to the poverty everywhere in this world, they would be ashamed of some of their choices. I recently had the occasion to watch that program (either on MTV or VH1) called my Super Sweet 16 where spoiled rich kids are documented planning their Sweet 16 parties. The episode I saw followed 3 kids. Each of them got a car from their parents as a gift. I saw 2 BMW's and one Mercedes. These parties were costing in the range of 200k to 500k. I love parties, don't get me wrong. But wouldn't the parents be giving these kids a greater gift if they spent that same amount of money and went to New Orleans for a month in the summer and toured the devastation, met the folks, and helped them re-build in some way??? Heck, you could still have a swell party for 100k and then take a few thousand to do some good!!! This is just my opinion. I have had a huge awakening when a friend of mine spent two months in Africa doing social work missions for orphaned AIDS children and she took the time to explain her work to me and showed me pictures of these places and people. It has put so much into perspective for me.
 
1 - 18 of 18 Posts
Top