[telephus]

Just curious - how many of you who are SAHMs made a conscious decision to be a SAHM or did it somehow just happen (due to physical conditions, illness, moving, being laid off, winning the lottery, whatever)?

 

[freedeal]

I became a SAHM after an illness. Best thing that ever happened to me. I don't think I would have given up my career otherwise. Now my children are 11 & 15 and I wouldn't have it any other way. I love being at home.

 

[JustJoy]

When my son was born...... back in the stone age ...... 1981) LOL! Yes... I chose to be a SAHM. I honestly enjoyed the first few years. When he turned 3 I started him in preschool 3 days a week, when he was 4 I put him in pre-K in the mornings and they had an onsite day care in the afternoons. That's when I went back to work P/T. I continued with P/T until he was in school F/T (first grade). I've never regreted a minute of it

 

[FrugalMomof3]

Well I chose to be a SAHM after I was laid off from my job in 2004, I mean I was a SAHM in 2003 but I was offered a position with a company (who bought out the company I was laid off from) and I worked from home, then they wanted to do what I did in house so I no longer had a job

I made such good money there, it's a shame too, I really miss it!

 

[ewokgirl]

I don't have kids, but I chose to become a SAHW 7 years ago. I was just too tired all the time from teaching full time. I've been subbing a bit this year to bring in a little extra cash for our savings and our trip to London in December. I worked Tuesday-Friday this week, and our home and stress levels suffered as a result. DH and I both were given a very big reminder of why I stay home! Our home runs so much more smoothly with me at home.

If we had kids, I would definitely be a SAHM by choice. I don't think I could fathom paying hard-earned money to farm my kid out to someone else during the day. But that's just me.

 

[brenda67]

I know this isn't the question you asked but wanted to make a comment anyway..back in 95 when was on maternity leave with my middle son my Dh didn't want me to go back to work he was a caretaker of an estate and we didn't have to pay rent and lived in a big beautiful home with no payments other than electric and telephone... at that tome my oldest son was 2 and my newborn whom was born in January..I cried and begged my Dh to please let me go back to work...I went through post partum sp? I gained 50lbs in 2 months was severly depressed and was pretty much stuck in the house due to the weather..who wants to get stuck in the snow with a toddler and newborn...so basically I became mentally ill from everything...I needed to feel alive again and thats why I went back to work ...Of coarse now almost 12 yrs later I wish I could be a sahm now...my kids are older and I can deal with them better then when they were little...does that make sense? If I had had my middle son in the spring or summer I'm sure I would probably had stayed home to this day..

 

[yankeegal]

I chose to be also-back in 1986 when my second daughter was born. I have never regretted it for a moment. It is the most rewarding job (I think) a person can have.

 

[Neeley]

I never had any intentions of being a working woman whether I had kids or not. My parents and DH wanted the kids to have a parent at home - so 13 1/2 years after the first one was born - here I am a very happy SAHM and my days are filled with homeschooling and enjoying every minute of their childhood.

 

[Emerald_Mommy]

Definite choice here. I plan to homeschool our girls and while I occasionally have worked (part-time) outside the home, I'd rather stay with them myself. That's not to say some days I don't wish I could get a day off. Those days are few, fortunately. Our family has a blessed situation where we both get to be with the girls a lot of the time. Non-traditional, but we love it.

 

[nuisance26]

~I feel like I was forced into it. We both lived with our parents before we got married and worked full-time.He had a car, but I used my mothers car to get to work. We saved aggressively but our savings was completely depleted by buying a small starter home. After marriage I wasn't willing to go into debt purchasing a second car just so I could work full-time for minimum wage(I was 20 at the time). Before I met Sean, my plan was to get a degree, work for 6-10 years and then start a family, staying at home. I eventually would have chosen to stay home.

 

[Cricket1]

I fought hard to be a SAHM. My husband wanted me to go back to work full-time, but I refused. I stayed at home for about two years before I started to go crazy and since then I've done p/t work here and there. I have a permanent p/t job at night (when my dh is home w/the kids) which averages 20 hrs./wk. I will say that although I love being a mom, I really need to get out p/t, which (for me) is the perfect solution. Personally, I wouldn't want to work full-time now. When I think about it, I don't think I EVER want to work full-time again. Boy, I hope my husband doesn't read this!!!!

 

[monkeywrangler71]

I wasn't exactly forced into it, but I didn't really choose it either. If I had gone back to work after my last child, my expenses would have been more than my income. We were still considering it though, because my job had some great benefits (ie. free university for me, 1/2 price for the kids). Then my husband was offered a promotion that involved moving to another province. We weighed all of our options and decided that we would move and I would stay home.

I'm glad that we did, and I don't ever want to go back to work. I enjoyed working, but I am very uncomfortable around people and I found it very stressful. It wasn't even a noticeable stress, just a constant underlying anxiety. I am so much happier now.

 

[jenloveschip2001]

When I married my DH I was working FT to support my two kids from my previous marriage. He was in the army stationed at Ft. Campbell, he would come home on weekends to see me because I lived about 2 hrs away. We both grew up in the same town and he would stop in the store I worked at when he came home to see his family every weekend. Anyways, When we married I moved to Ft. Campbell with him and we didn't know anyone and didn't want to leave the kids with just anyone so we agreed that I would just stay at home with them. I am very happy being a SAHM. I feel that I am very lucky to have the oppertunity to be a SAHM. He was in Iraq for 11 months and it was tough being a sahm with no breaks but the kids kept me busy and the kids helped me through it. He is now out of the army and we have moved back home. I have family that would babysit if I wanted to get a job but I still choose to be a sahm because I feel it is best for our family. My dh likes comming home to a clean house, supper on the table and the kids homework done. Me staying at home makes his life less stressful also because he doesn't have to worry about anything at home because he knows I'm there to keep the home in order.

 

[Laurie in Bradenton]

We both agreed that we would adjust our business to be home when kids were home and gone when they were gone. During times when kids are out of school I stay home and DH goes to jobsite. If the job doesn't required him to be there he'll wait til kids are at school then we both would leave and return home before school was out. DH and I have ended up being seragate parents to many of the neighborhood kids simply because we're home. We both love the fact that we can be home with our kids and spend alot of time with them. Before they started school DS is now 21 and DD is 13, I would be the SAHM and I loved it.

Laurie in Bradenton

 

[Darlene]

Choice here. Maternity leave was up & we just couldn't see how we could make this work witout either dh & I not seeing each other because we'd be on different shifts or leaving her in the care of someone else. My staying at home was one of the best choices we ever made. When almost all of their friends came home to an empty house mine didn't. And where many of their families marriages didn't last, mine has. I really like alot of the so called old fashioned values.
Everyone's family is different and you need to do what's best for you & yours.

 

[thrifty gal]

I never wanted to be a sahm, but when I became pregnant the first time, I quit my job, and haven't worked since. So, I did ultimately choose to be a sahm. Things do seem to go a lot smoother around here when I'm not working. The pace is much slower (in some ways lol). I'm not planning on going back to work until my dd and the soon to be new edition are both in school.

 

[PennyPinchinPam]

Yes it was something both dh and I made together. We paid off allour debts and I closed my family child care business down after 5 years. It was the best decision we made. I plan to work part time around the kids school schedules starting next fall when my dd goes into first grade. K is only half days here. I don't have to do it but I want to and if it doesn't mesh with the family i will just quit. My family comes first.

 

[Michelle]

I was working FT (and crazy hours too) when my dh got a better paying job closer to home. It made more sense for me to become a SAHM then because of the day care costs, commute time, stress factor. Luckily we bought a house that was priced much less than what was recommended to us that we could afford. If we hadn't bought less house, I would have had to keep working.

It's been a struggle (financially) for sure, especially after 9/11. Prior to that I was able to freelance for my former employer (for the marketing dept). When 9/11 hit, a lot of their clients stopped advertising, so there was no job for me.

Everyone asks me why I haven't returned to work now that the kids are in school FT. I just don't want to put them in day care. I am very lucky that we can afford to do this, and I know not everyone can or wants to.

Like Darlene said, you need to do what's right for you & your family.

 

[rachelj]

Dh and I got married one month after I got my master's in counseling. At that time, I didn't want children (I knew that if we did have kids - I wanted to wait until we had been married for several years before we did and I didn't want to be "old parents" and I was concerned that I wouldn't be able to have any.). A couple of yrs go by and we start to rethink things. We decided we wanted children. By the time our son was conceived I had been working doing therapy with children and adolescents for 4 yrs and it was very stressful. We had also been trying for over 4 yrs and went thru a lot of fertility treatments. We knew that when we had kids I would stay home. I knew that I couldn't be a good mom working in that stressful environment dealing with kids with huge attitudes and (much worse - most times) their parents and then come home. As well as, we didn't want other people raising our children.

I didn't expect to have child #2 19mo later!!:yikes: But, God has been good. We has provided for us financially and I still work part time - when I can and when I want to. My Mary Kay business provides "me" time as well as something that I can invest in that I can take pride in and it has helped with bills - and is a great tax right off. I also teach very part time for the college that I got my master's from.

Find something that you can invest yourself in!

 

[pammy]

That's a hard answer here. I wasn't forced into it, but chose it out of sheer misery at my last job (so, kinda mentally forced, grr..). Anyways, with my profession being saturated in our area there wasn't much hope for a job close by. I could and still can always find work in the bigger city, but it's an hour and half commute.

When my daughter was little I would have LOVED to be able to stay home with her. So many things I missed from working for low wages just to pay the daycare bill. So many mistakes back then.

Anyway, now my daughter is much older I more or less see myself as a housewife. It took me four and half hard years to get through college and now I'm not doing anything with my degree, it's really hard accept the fact that I'm more or less wasting something that I fought so hard for. I would have never seen myself as a housewife.

However... I don't think anyone in my family would have it any other way. I wished I hadn't wasted schooling on something not marketable in our area, hindsights 20/20. But if I hadn't, then I'm sure I'd be working full-time somwhere right now, stressed out, upset because I pull more housework load while dh would work more hours, not see each other as much, and not be able to spend time and keep an eye on a teen daughter. I wish I had known how it would be a few years ago.

So although I would have never seen myself in this position (stubborn to the core and fiercly independent) I can't say that I would change anything right now.

(ramblings, haha, sorry. )