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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
For those who don't know, I've been in a long-distance relationship (Colorado for me, Delaware for him) for 3 years and he surprise proposed to me on December 9th. Literally showed up on my doorstep from 1,495 miles away with ring in hand!! It was so awesome! He stayed the weekend.

Our plan is for him to come out in June, we would marry privately, then go to my parent's house for dinner. (same town) Total people attending the dinner would be 10 and my first grandbaby. They are all in the same town.

Then, he will help me load up my stuff to move to Delaware. When we get there for our new life together, settled into our new house, we would then have a family dinner with his side of the family. I'm pretty much leaving that dinner alone, they can figure it out, ha!

Here's where I need help:

For my family's Wedding Dinner I am trying to be super frugal but at the same time I do want the dinner to be nice.

What items would you splurge on and what would you skip or be super frugal on?

My thoughts:

1) skip flowers, they die. Maybe find silk flowers at Goodwill?

2) Do get a NICE cake. Would it be rude for me to ask my SIL to bake and decorate a cake for me? She has done all our birthday cakes in the past but I don't know if its rude to ask her for a bigger occasion like this. She doesn't do it professionally, is just really good at it. Should I offer to pay her for the cake? Could I ask her for that in lieu of a gift or is that insinuating she would give a gift?

3) Table decorations. No clue. Only 10 people, don't really need place cards or should I to make it look formal and nice?

Wedding will take place in June, already made sure my parents would host it, already requested a dish that I love. Should I be offering to buy the ingredients for that dish? This is my second marriage.

Thanks for any input and I'll also peruse the wedding threads for ideas.
 

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congrats!!! I would ask your SIL to do your cake as a gift to you and your groom. With ten people i don't think you need place cards maybe just candles on the table for decoration.
 
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Cogratulations!!! I would ask sil to make the cake instead of a gift, also silk flowers are verry pretty , and you could use as a gift for your mom to keep after the dinner ,I would shop the good will for candle holders and vases for table decor . I am very happy for you& best of luck :)
 

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I think if you like your SIL and you're in the habit of doing favors for each other, then it would be okay to ask her. She may be flattered! If you don't like her then it might appear you're using her. You could offer to pay for the ingredients. A cake for ten shouldn't be that expensive though, so she might turn you down.

Keep your eyes open at GW for unique things you could use for a cake topper and similar wedding items. Often you see things like bride and groom wine glasses. Or if you know how to etch glass, you could make your own from GW wine glasses. Or just buy a set of really beautiful glasses for the two of you.

Flowers are always nice. How many families will be attending? If you could find inexpensive silk flowers and arrange them in small, nice vases from GW, you could send one home with each family as a keepsake.

For your dinner, does it need to be formal? Could you do it buffet style and make the food up ahead of time and freeze it? That might help you take advantage of grocery sales and also help you stay ahead of things at what's going to be a very busy time since you're also moving halfway across the country. It would also be easy for your parents to prep while you're at your ceremony. All they'd have to do is set things out.

Depending on your family, maybe you could even do a potluck meal. I know nobody would think twice about that in our family, but some would consider it too tacky to think about. A barbecue might be appropriate too, depending on your family.

Be sure to consider what you already have on hand that might work for the wedding. Label a big box and put useful things into it as you come across them, so they don't get packed for the move. Do you have a nice tablecloth and napkins? What about dishes for the dinner? What, of that sort of thing, can or would your parents provide?

Do you need shoes for the ceremony? Are you wearing your wedding clothes for the dinner, or do you need to set aside something different to wear?

Make a list of what you have and what you need, so when you're out shopping and see something, you can remember what items you still need and what you have so you don't miss a good buy and don't buy duplicates.
 

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For those who don't know, I've been in a long-distance relationship (Colorado for me, Delaware for him) for 3 years and he surprise proposed to me on December 9th. Literally showed up on my doorstep from 1,495 miles away with ring in hand!! It was so awesome! He stayed the weekend.

Our plan is for him to come out in June, we would marry privately, then go to my parent's house for dinner. (same town) Total people attending the dinner would be 10 and my first grandbaby. They are all in the same town.

Then, he will help me load up my stuff to move to Delaware. When we get there for our new life together, settled into our new house, we would then have a family dinner with his side of the family. I'm pretty much leaving that dinner alone, they can figure it out, ha!

Here's where I need help:

For my family's Wedding Dinner I am trying to be super frugal but at the same time I do want the dinner to be nice.

What items would you splurge on and what would you skip or be super frugal on?

My thoughts:

1) skip flowers, they die. Maybe find silk flowers at Goodwill?

2) Do get a NICE cake. Would it be rude for me to ask my SIL to bake and decorate a cake for me? She has done all our birthday cakes in the past but I don't know if its rude to ask her for a bigger occasion like this. She doesn't do it professionally, is just really good at it. Should I offer to pay her for the cake? Could I ask her for that in lieu of a gift or is that insinuating she would give a gift?

3) Table decorations. No clue. Only 10 people, don't really need place cards or should I to make it look formal and nice?

Wedding will take place in June, already made sure my parents would host it, already requested a dish that I love. Should I be offering to buy the ingredients for that dish? This is my second marriage.

Thanks for any input and I'll also peruse the wedding threads for ideas.
:cheergrl: Congrats! :congrats: Congrats!! :cheergrl:

#1 - I find fresh flowers help make the decor more alive and cheery...are you able to assemble some from your own garden? Plants some for this purpose? A few stems placed in a vase on the dinner table or on the serving table area help make it pop. You'd only need enough for a simple centrepiece and for your own bouquet and boutonnieres if you're having those. Think container garden and wild flowers :)

#2 - I see no harm in asking. But ask now so she has time to plan vs later where the likelyhood of her saying NO is very high. Expect a 'no' for an answer so if she says yes, you won't be disappointed. Also include the real reasons (be honest) you want her to bake the cake for you vs just asking.

Research a local back up bakery just in case. A local cafe prob has cakes brought in, ask them where they order theirs from and maybe you can go to them directly OR ask the bakery to order one in for you - don't mention the "W" word though or price doubles or more.

#3 - Simple white table cloth with proper place settings will make it look fancy/formal no? Less is more. If you're giving favors, you can place them with each setting to help jazz it up as decor. Place cards are only if you want to and only if you care whom sits next to whom.

As for paying for ingredients - offer and go from there. :)

Its YOUR wedding, do as YOU see fit. We didn't do the all of the traditions others would do...thats what made our wedding unique.

Tip - just keep a very detailed and updated list of where you're at with things - food, decor, guests, favors, budget etc. Its better if its in one place - ie a notebook you can tote around with you - so its easy to access in one shot.

We asked for no gifts b/c we were merging two fully stocked households into one (still am & trying to mesh and purge stuff :laugh:) So make it clear that you do not want gifts - if you don't. I don't see it rude as telling everyone directly (from you via phone, convo, email etc). Its just you expressing your wishes clearly.
 

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Discussion Starter · #6 ·
I have lots of candles but my dad wont let us light them. (weird candle attitude) Would it look tacky to have unlit candles?

Oooh, I have lots of vases from the flowers my honey has sent me over the years. Maybe I could buy just one spray of flowers from a grocery store and put them in one of my favorite vases out of the ones I find. (as a centerpiece)

The meal I'm requesting is an "all in one pot" meal that my mom makes the day before usually.

Hm I do think I want it "nice" but not super formal. I love the idea for finding a fancy set of wedding glasses or champagne glasses for him and I, then get some bubbly cider or something like that. No one drinks alcohol so wont have that expense.

I should definitely start a Wedding Box! I already realized that I packed the dress (Space bagged it) that I wanted to wear. oops. Need to find that, and iron it, ha!!

Thank you for the suggestions, this forum is awesome, I always think I know how to do frugal and then everyone chimes in with even more than I could have come up with.
 

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Get thee to Pinterest woman!

They have the most amazing wedding ideas. I have seen centerpiece ideas that didn't involve flowers at all and were still delightful.
 

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Discussion Starter · #8 ·
Get thee to Pinterest woman!

They have the most amazing wedding ideas. I have seen centerpiece ideas that didn't involve flowers at all and were still delightful.
I am ADDICTED to pinterest.
If you want to follow me its just my name: peggy sue klein Yah, yah I am not very incognito but I don't care on Pinterest. Its all about "ooh I like it, I love it, I want some more of it...." (did I get that song in your head?)
 

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I've seen flameless candles at dollar stores. Maybe those would work in some of your candle holders. But no, I don't think it's tacky to just have the unlit candles. Besides, it's a small gathering of family, and I'm sure everyone already knows your dad doesn't like lighted candles so everyone would understand if they're not lit.

I agree. It's YOUR wedding. Do what you like. You only have to please yourselves.

Is there someone in your family who is good at taking pictures and/or videos? You're going to want to preserve your memories.

If you don't want gifts, then maybe you could put out a call to your family members saying that in lieu of gifts, you'd like to tap their talents instead, if they're willing. So ask if people are willing to do certain tasks for you. It's not like they'd have to be doing things involving dozens of people, so they may be very willing to do things for you just as a way to participate in your day.
 

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Discussion Starter · #10 ·
oooh, I like that idea of lieu of gifts.

its only going to be: brother, sil, their 4 kids. my parents, my daughter, bf, baby. My honey and I.

Yes this could be super easy and frugal but nice!

I have started another section in my notebook for the planning so I don't get too jumbled up.
 

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Congratulations, krbshappy71! I am very happy for you. I am a huge fan of intimate, personal wedding celebrations. Good for you for knowing what you want and going for it. Enjoy the planning (and enjoy the fact that keeping it small is saving you tons of stress!!).

Kara
 

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I would stay away from anything *fake* Fake flowers, fake candles.....just no. For only 10 people, it's not a huge expense to set a nice dinner. A vase with one perfect fresh flower is more beautiful than a bunch of fake ones. You can rent classic white plates for .40 each, or just buy a dozen catering plates for about 20.00. I would just keep it simple and uncluttered.
 

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I agree with stinkbug-- no fake flowers. You can get lovely flowers from the grocery for $4. Also, I think I would be honored if someone asked me to make their cake :) Congrats!
 

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I agree, when my daughter got married, instead of her dad and I paying a bunch of money for the wedding and then a gift on top of it. I basicaly catered her wedding and did her wedding cake. She got the foods that she wanted, and the cake that she wanted, made the way that she wanted everything. And instead of about $30,000, we ended up putting out like a couple grand. Her wedding dress was semi home made :) we bought the base dress, and then did alterations so that it looked like she wanted it to.

We did a beautiful wedding, with out going into debt for years over it. And on top of that we had a much less stressful time.

I wish you all of the very best and am very Happy for you
 

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hi hon congrats!!!!! love always find a way. It is June most of your family and friends have flower beds so cut them this is FREE!
second I love the idea of flameless candles they are so pretty and not expensive and work for people who can't stand candles.
third Yard sales are coming up buy used wine glasses as long as they are clear does not matter if they match.
a lovely white table cloth will be beautiful
your friend will probably be delighted with the cake espcially if she can decorate. A cake for ten will not be hard to bake or expensive. Use flowers for the cake topper or those wedding rings decs.
Have a nice punch bowl for punch if you like. I think they are pretty.
Set your mp3 or ipod or internet radio Commercial free on soft music.
Your family and friends love u and they will be glad to help.....
 

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Discussion Starter · #17 ·
Good news, SIL agreed to make the cake, I asked her in person, in private so I wasn't putting her on the spot. I showed her my Pinterest but assured her those cakes were daydream cakes, not what I was expecting from her.

So should I provide her with an specific cake design or let her come up with one? She is creative but I didn't know if that would be overwhelming for someone to make a wedding cake off the top of their own head.

I am leaning towards a light beach theme since I am moving to the east coast. I have seashells from my visits there to place on the table.

I am wanting a wedding dress off and on but trying to stay strong and stick to the summer dress I already have.

I bought the wedding ring for fiancée and might have it engraved. Every time I want to do something special like that I remind myself that I don't need a wedding dress, to use that money for extras instead.

Maybe if I get the dress ready, hang it up where I can see it, it will help. I think if I took it with me to buy shoes once the summer sandals hit the shelves I will be more inclined to stick to the dress I already have.

Good point about the flowers, maybe my daisies will come back this year, those are such happy bright flowers for a table vase! Very summery.
 

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I saw this and wanted to get the link over to you... it's FREE, and if you don't have a Kindle, you can download a free kindle pc -
 
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Discussion Starter · #19 ·
Update

I just realized that I wrote 10 people but if you count on my list its 13. Ha! I typed it out correctly but added incorrectly.

Update:

My sil is making the cake in lieu of a gift, she was more than happy to! She makes a 3-layer chocolate ganache that is delectable.
My fiance' bought the cake topper I wanted, it is a bride standing on a light brown suitcase kissing the groom, how cute is that. If you are on Pinterest, you can see it there, I'm Granny Sue.

My mom is sewing the napkins, she is a great seamstress! Royal blue satiny fabric that we found on clearance. We are going to see if we can find the fabric again and make a runner to match.

We scored a beautiful ivory tablecloth on clearance after Christmas. $8
We scored napkin rings that I wanted, I saw them in Bed Bath Beyond for $3 each (ouch!), but did NOT buy them, later that week I found an entire sack of 13 of them for $5 at Goodwill. BOUGHT THEM! No joke they were the same ones that I wanted!

I found a pattern for making/folding tiny suitcases out of card stock, I am going to make these as place cards at each setting AND we are filling them with butter mints. (my daughters love butter mints) so they are doubling as a "party favor" as well. Cost will be free except for the butter mints which I am pretty sure are cheap.

I found a cute "Mad Libs" paper with a wedding theme that I will print off for the kids to do while they are hanging out. (free)

I did splurge on a necklace I really liked. ($50 and I plan to wear it for years)
I do plan to buy a hair accessory this weekend with my daughter who is going to do my hair. I might get my nails done before the wedding but my daughter has offered to do the "press on" ones for free. So it will either be a splurge I allow myself or I will chill out and do the press-on ones.
I do plan to buy shoes but since I want sandals/summery I am waiting until those come out for the season.

For flowers I have decided I am buying plants and moving them to the new house. My mom has a royal blue vase that we will put the flowers in for the centerpiece.

I bought an adorable outfit for the baby for $2 from Goodwill, then splurged on baby shoes (clearance from Target $9) that were very lacy-wedding-ish. My daughter received lots of cute headbands as a gift so we have a wedding-ish headband for the baby.

I found rolls of fabric ribbon (in my Christmas stash of stuff!) that I am going to use to make chair bows. One is white with a pearl-glitter, very light and very pretty. The other is royal blue with gold trim, we are using the blue and gold for mine and groom's chairs, the white on the remaining chairs.

So far I think things are coming along nicely! Pinterest has been great for giving me ideas, it has been difficult in that it brings up "wants" that I didn't know I wanted in the first place. :)

I do want a wedding dress. A huge super expensive beautiful ball gown wedding dress. But I will not. I have a very pretty soft yellow summer dress that I'm wearing.
 

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oh it all sounds lovely and I found u on pintrest u are not old enough to be a grandma.. I commented so u can see a pic of me.... I am fatter now lol..
the necklace is beautiful.. u will wear it for years.. and all the ideasl were lovely and could be done on a budget.....congrats honey
 
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