[aylasmommy]

I guess all I want to say is HELLLLLLLLLLLLLLPPPPPPPPPP

I can't TAKE all the guitar work my dh keeps doing!!! The living room is always covered in parts/sawdust....sharp objects ayla could get to..

there are guitars hanging from my living room ceiling...the whole side of the living room is lined with guitars, then a drumset that we seldom use is taking up a HUGE space in the corner, he keeps bringing home amplifiers he gets free or super cheap, and so now my other side of the couch is filled with those...

I just need to gripe

Ok to top off the fact that he spends every weekend working on guitars that he's going to GIVE AWAY,

He has now taken on helping a neighbor guy who had a tore up guitar, and instead of fixing it FOR him (which we decided he would no longer do after having to BUY my cousin a NEW guitar after MESSING it up) he is helping him fix it by SHOWING him what to do....Geesh I guess he just doesn't get the fact I want him spending time with the FAMILY more!!!

Makes me feel like he doesn't want to spend time with me at all.
Kind of easy to feel like that when he's shooing me off to go shopping. At first I thought, wow how cool he WANTS me to shop! Now i realize it's so he can have uninterupted guitar time :bang:
And then the only time he spends with me lately seems to just piss me off when he grabs me and squeezes too hard. He also told me he doesn't have to be gentle because we are MARRIED

Ok I got off topic in my own post
thanks for letting me vent....
and to think I didn't even mention the huge fight we had this weekend..

 

[captclearance]

Men !!!!!!!!! What are they thinking ???????
{{{{{{{{{{HUGS}}}}}}}}}}} Heather !

 

[voodidit]

Heather,

I understand where you are right now completely. It seems like my dh spends all his time at the shop too. Hugs!!

 

[qponfanatic]

:hugz: Heather,
Do you have a garage that he could move all that guitar stuff into so that things would be safer for Ayla? Could you appeal to him on that level? That it's for the safety of his darling little girl that these things need to be moved so that she does not get hurt?
As for the not spending time with you, I understand how you feel. Some men (and women also) just get so wrapped up in their hobbies that they forget about their family. I have to be on guard myself about spending too much time on the computer when I should be spending it with my kids.

 

[paelthom]

Heather,
No advise just a big :hugz:

pat

 

[aylasmommy]

thanks for the hugs ladies

Debbie, we only have a carport and a few units of storage outisde that are all full, as it is he is using her closet space to store two huge toolboxes (they leave *just enough space for her tiny clothes to hang)
And I totally know what you mean about computer time vs. time spent with kids(or kid in my case). I'm trying so hard to stay off of it during the day and take her outside instead.

 

[graci42]

Sweety...my sympathies are with you! Been there done that...What you need is to find a sitter and take the night off...just the 2 of you...you and dh...

then you need to explain to him what is bothering you and how you feel. Make sure he knows that you love him and that you want your family to be strong....that means both must invest time into building it together.

Then you make sure he understands that JUST because you are married doesn't give him the right to get rough with you. You are a human being and his wife. As such he should give you the same respect he expects you to give him!

If you have to, schedule "Guitar" time and "Family" time. That way he doesn't feel that you are trying to "take something" from him. Make the suggestions...but don't make him feel that you are giving him ultamatums...just that you love him and want to share things with him.

I'm no expert on marital relations...I'm on my 2nd marriage. BUT...my second marriage is strong because we both respect each other and look for compromises. Give and take...both must be willing to give a little and not just take.

Hugs

Hope this helps!

 

[Katybird]

:hugz: Heather.