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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
I take care of and provide for my youngest. My ex boyfriend pays a little over $200 a month for child support and he doesn't pay every month, just when he feels like it

He is suing me!!!

He wants full custody and wants me to pay him back all the child support he has paid plus wants ME to pay him $400 a month child support since the day she was born.

The papers his lawyer drew up says i'm an unfit mother because I am single and my ex boyfriend has took nude pictures of me so that makes me a questionable moral person.

I should be laughing my ass off but it scares me that he hired a lawyer and I was served with this crap.

I rent a nice home, my children have their own bedrooms and a seperate playroom. We have a nice yard and my rent and utilities are always paid. My ex says it would be better for him to have custody and move her 1600 miles away to live with his mom in Texas.
His mom's house is a shack to put it nicely with 4 small rooms including bathroom and it has no heating/gas hook ups so no hot water. He thinks that is better than my nice home??!!
 

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get on the phone and call every legal assistance center you can think of. The local United Way here has listings on their website. They might in your area too. get spitting mad and show your claws. Get the child support papers, proof of everything and a lawyer for you and your girls. Get him! I'll be praying for you!
 

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What a creep! He was the one who took the pictures, right? Does that make him morally better? Too bad you are going to have to hire a lawyer to keep this creep from getting your baby.
 

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Right now call the DAs office in your city and get yourself a public defender and get on this right away......call any friends or family that can help you out and move on this right away.....

I would say he is just trying to scare you but I think he may be serious and looking to really screw you over......

get all of your ducks in a row right now:
document everything
write down all old stories
any proof you have of what he pays

Take this crap very serious, NOW!

I am sorry you are having to deal with so much!

Regards,
leezza
 

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What a crock!
I don't think it's possible for him to get any child support back. I can't believe he got a lawyer to write up these things! There are a ton of single mothers out there making a MUCH BETTER life for their kids.
:hug2:
 

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:( Just wanted to add that you might want to be careful what you say in your blog & elsewhere online. Some flakes like to take things out of context and may use them against you in some way. You taking the high road & not bad mouthing shows you are the more adult one.;)
Just cover your butt, don't play his games & get some representation. Good Luck!!
 

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I agree with Darlene. Had someone on another forum post that DFCS paid her a visit because a BLOG READER called them out.

Back to your post, I ams so very sorry this is happening to you & I will pray that this gets resolved. I have a feeling this is a money greedy issue & has NOTHING to do with the baby! He wants the money that he "gave" you even though that was FOR the child & he'll be living (& mooching) off of momma? ((HUGGAS))
 

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As for your blog, I jumped over and took a gander. You need to make it private, at least for the time being!!! You have written about your money issues, which, believe me, I understand. But like Darlene said, can be taken out of context! :(
 

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I know it's scary....but he's bluffing. And any lawyer will take his case if he pays...so it doesn't mean he has great representation. It just means he got someone to draw up paperwork for a price. Seriously....do you have any idea how hard it is to take a child from his/her mother??? He has to PROVE you are unfit. This means...he has to prove you won't work...don't provide shelter...don't provide medical care...don't provide food. Live in filthy conditions or are an addict. Or that your children are in danger! You have family support and good living conditions and a stable job. He's nuts.
Ask me how I know this??? My dd and her dh fought for 10 months to get his kids from the mother. She was a 3 time FELON who took the children out of the state when he was deployed and he had no idea where they were when he got home! They finally tracked her down in CA and she had moved the kids 6 times in two years...moving in the middle of the night when she was evicted from her apts. She had a felony theft charge pending in our state, and one in CA! She got sentenced to jail (30 days) when he was deployed and he didn't even know it! (her sister had the kids!) All of this and they had to fight and spend nearly 10,000to finally get custody of the kids when she went to jail. They now have full/permanent custody and she can't leave the state of CA for three years because of probation. The court cited her *unstable lifestyle* as an unfit environment. Now.....what could he possibly have that is anywhere near those conditions in your case??? They will NOT move a child 1600 miles away from a parent without damn good cause.
I agree you should seek legal advice, but he's totally bluffing and trying to intimidate you. He's a bully. Don't let him get to you. Do not talk to him about it. Do not acknowledge it. Do not engage with him. And...he hasn't paid support??? Yeah...he's a real dope. The courts will be real impressd with that.
Get all your ducks in a row. Take photos of your home environment, demand a home inspection. Keep copies of any school records, medical records, etc. that show consistancy on your part. Do you have a Womens' and Childrens' alliance in your area? They should be able to help you with resourses.
Please try not to worry...he's an idiot.
My ex also tried this....it's totally a control issue. Most men are smart enough to know the one way to hurt a woman is to threaten to take her child. It's not about the child...it's about his wanting control over your emotions and state of mind.
 

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Also make sure you have documentation of when he did and DIDN'T pay you support. If he can't make his child support payments, how responsible can he be and can he really have her welfare at heart??? NO! Any judge worth their salt will see that.
 

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Your getting some great advice here. Just be careful. I'll be praying for you.
 

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Get a public aid lawyer. Document everything. Make your blog private.


Keep your head up---we are cheering you on.
 

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I can only echo what everyone else has said.

Hugs to you.
 

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I would get rid of the blog entirely and take any pictures down as well, even here. Document everything!
 

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Yep, get rid of the blog and get a lawyer! DIRTBAG, sigh, why do they do things like this?

Sending good thoughts from here on the farm.

kj
 

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Discussion Starter · #16 ·
Thanks for the advice

I spoke with a lawyer and my mom watched my kids while I went to talk to her. She did say not to take anything lightly.

The only thing she could question was nude pictures taken before I was even pregnant.

I have a clean lifestyle, I can prove i'm a good mom.
 

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as someone said before, its very difficult to take a kid from their mother (unfortunatly in our case) my brothers lawyer proved his ex wife was unstable, didn't have a job, was a compulsive liar, was shacking up and fighting with her live in boyfriend in front of the child etc. the list goes on and on.... and the judge let her keep the baby. he didn't even say she was the better parent, he just wasn't taking the baby from her.
 

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Discussion Starter · #18 ·
I can prove i'm a good mom and have a good home environment.

I know 7 people personally who has a child education background from playgroups and such who would stand up for me.

I know a cps worker that helped me when my ex husband was harassing me that may write a letter on my behalf about how I do have a loving home that is safe with plenty of food.

My baby's doctor i'm sure would stand behind me about the care I give my daughter.

I don't see how he can prove i'm a bad person. I do nothing but work around my kids schedules, i'm involved with school activities, playgroups, my children miss out on nothing. I use no babysitters, my mom watched my children when I have like dental appointments or pap appt. at the doctors. My kids are with me all the time. I don't date or go out. My life revolves around my kids.

That reminds me...when I was pregnant me and my oldest left behind everything we owned to move in with my exboyfriend in Texas. We got there broke and was stuck there. I lost a lot of weight within the 2 months I was there and I was pregnant because he wouldn't give me and my daughter hardly any food, he stole what little we brought with us, he stole money my mom sent me so me and my daughter could get back to Michigan.
We finally left after being there 7 weeks because my family came up with the money and sent it to us western union. We got out of there fast and when we were hundreds of miles away we finally stopped at a fast food place and pigged out until we were sick.

Last summer the baby spent 5 days with him and his mom at his neices house 200 miles from me. The morning we left to meet I took my baby to the doctors and she weighed 24 pounds. After spending 5 days with him she lost 4 pounds!

This all makes me so angry
 

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Bless your heart. I don't have anything to add to all the great advice you have already been given, just sending (((HUGS))).
 

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In order to take you to court, he has to have a reason to justify it. It sounds like the nude picture argument is all he could come up with, but it was enough to get the court to open it's doors. I'm sure nothing will come from it (and you did say the pictures were taken BEFORE you were pregnant.....do you have proof of that?)

I haven't read your blog, but yes, you really need to watch every.single.word.you.say. Don't bash him....it'll only hurt you. The courts are becoming more father friendly.
 
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