Frugal Village Forums banner

1 - 18 of 18 Posts

·
Registered
Joined
·
50 Posts
Discussion Starter #1
I am just putting a shout out for other 'gentle' or 'natural' parents...

I find it very hard find to any other parents that I have anything in common with.

Gentle/natural parenting is just a label which I actually prefer not to use and I never aimed to be that sort of parent but it was just pointed out to me that I tend to follow similiar practices.

The frugal way of life tends to encourage this sort of parenting.

Anywaone out there?
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
2,018 Posts
Hmm, sort of. I very much believe in natural consequences. We have never had strict rules for our kids. We did have expectations of courtesy, etc. as I'm sure you do.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
7,747 Posts
I've never heard of gentle/natural parenting. What is it?
 
  • Like
Reactions: AspiringToBeFrugal

·
Registered
Joined
·
50 Posts
Discussion Starter #6
Is it like attachment parenting??? I did and do that with DD
It is like that but not as strict (not really the right word) I got involved with a few attachment parenting groups and they found it hard to 'help' me because I couldn't breastfeed and didn't co sleep. It could have just been the groups in my area but I didn't 'fit' in.

Natural parenting is child led...so rules etc are set around your child as an individual. Children are left to free play rather then structured play based on the norm, there is a focus on nature, freely exploring their environment, doing things like child led solids and elimination communication.

Punishment is more focused on communication verbally and physically (for example if a child is being nasty they are spoken with and then removed from the play rather then being put in a naughty corner)

This is what it means for me anyway. Also I dont think this sort of parenting works for all children or parents however with my childI found the first 6 months were I tried 'my' routines on her rather then firguring out hers, trying to force my ideas on to her and trying to teach her about the world as I know it.

I found after I changed to a more 'natural' way of parenting her real personality came out and I realised it was there all along...she was just trying to communicate with me and I wasn't listening. Like freaking out about the fact that she wasn't sleeping through the night...we tried EVERYTHING including control crying and she never slept through until we relaxed more about it. At 18 months she still doesn't sleep through but that is just her...she can go for a week sleeping through and then she is waking 2-3 times a night...while she needs to understand that I cant just be there for her 24/7 I have other things to do, like get up at 6:30 am and get to work she also deserves a cuddles at 4am if she is lonely...I get to sleep with my soul mate everynight while she has to sleep alone in her bedroom, I would want a cuddle too and probably more often then 2-3 times a night LOL

Its what works for us and makes us feel right about our parenting...different things work for different people and makes other people feel right. At the end of the day though it isn't a fight to spend time with my spirited toddler it is a joy.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
2,372 Posts
I haven't heard of that style. Is it similar to Love & Logic? That is what I used, once I learned of it, for my children from late elementary through high school. It has really opened up their thinking and understanding natural consequences. It opened up a lot of dialogue and I really felt it helped build trust between us.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
459 Posts
I didn't go to any groups because I also found that alot of other moms were very hard on you if you didn't do everything the way they thought you should. I do have a family bed and did breastfeed until DD was 2.
Children are left to free play rather then structured play based on the norm, there is a focus on nature, freely exploring their environment
I do, do this alot. But because of DD issues have to have a very structured routine for her because if I don't she gets paniced. But she does have free time structured in that several times a day where she can play what ever she wants.
I believe that every family needs to do what feels right and works best for them. Some things some people feel better with were others feel it does not work for them. I have always believed that and never look down on anyone because they do something different. That is the joy of being a parent that not everything works for the same person, or even the same child. We are always learning as parents, and learning from each other as mothers. I think it sounds like a great type of parenting!
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
182 Posts
Me! We are "natural" but I do yell on occasion. We cloth diaper, wear our babies, co-sleep, do lots of outdoor activities like planting seeds, nature walks, etc, make our own babyfood, are doing a little bit of homeschooling although DD is still young (3), things like that. We are very "green" and try to instill those values in our kids.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
3,035 Posts
I am a MAP parent (or was when they were little). As the guys got older, our parenting style was close to the "Love and Logic" style of parenting.

MAP = modified attachment parenting
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
708 Posts
don't feel bad...mine is almost 10 an on rare occasions...

sleeps through the night...

she has health issues which has led me to basically let her get away with it and then again...you can't make a kid sleep if they don't want to.....
My DD is 7 and still does not sleep through the night!
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
62 Posts
probably a bit old school here but i do think it is VITALLY IMPORTANT to give our children boundaries, that they learn to abide by and respect rules and to remember that WE are the grown ups and they are the children. at some point they are going to have to get up at a specific time to go to school, which helps instill the habit of getting up for work on time. it's necessary to have structure - meal time, bed time, homework, chores. they need to be taught how to work within a social structure - family, classmates, society - to respect others but also to develop and hold firm to their own belief structure. they need to skills and tools to problem solve, to monitor and self regulate feelings and emotions. i see so many kids just running wild, screaming their little heads off in public, parents that treat the grocery store like a daycare, "horrid little monsters" who have never heard the word NO, and have absolutely ZERO respect for anything but their own wants and needs. these are FIVE year olds, totally running the show. and just for me, that ain't right.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
2,372 Posts
probably a bit old school here but i do think it is VITALLY IMPORTANT to give our children boundaries, that they learn to abide by and respect rules and to remember that WE are the grown ups and they are the children. at some point they are going to have to get up at a specific time to go to school, which helps instill the habit of getting up for work on time. it's necessary to have structure - meal time, bed time, homework, chores. they need to be taught how to work within a social structure - family, classmates, society - to respect others but also to develop and hold firm to their own belief structure. they need to skills and tools to problem solve, to monitor and self regulate feelings and emotions. i see so many kids just running wild, screaming their little heads off in public, parents that treat the grocery store like a daycare, "horrid little monsters" who have never heard the word NO, and have absolutely ZERO respect for anything but their own wants and needs. these are FIVE year olds, totally running the show. and just for me, that ain't right.
This is a kith, people seeking out others with common beliefs so they can discuss it. I am pretty sure no one else in this thread would want their children to have zero respect, that's not what natural parenting is about.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
5,605 Posts
probably a bit old school here but i do think it is VITALLY IMPORTANT to give our children boundaries, that they learn to abide by and respect rules and to remember that WE are the grown ups and they are the children. at some point they are going to have to get up at a specific time to go to school, which helps instill the habit of getting up for work on time. it's necessary to have structure - meal time, bed time, homework, chores. they need to be taught how to work within a social structure - family, classmates, society - to respect others but also to develop and hold firm to their own belief structure. they need to skills and tools to problem solve, to monitor and self regulate feelings and emotions. i see so many kids just running wild, screaming their little heads off in public, parents that treat the grocery store like a daycare, "horrid little monsters" who have never heard the word NO, and have absolutely ZERO respect for anything but their own wants and needs. these are FIVE year olds, totally running the show. and just for me, that ain't right.
Do you think that gentle/natural parents couldn't raise well mannered well adjusted productive members of society?

I think lots of natural gentle parents raise the children the way they do raise have well mannered, well adjusted productive members of society.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
3,035 Posts
My guys are sort of like "the end results" because they are almost 15, 13, and 13 (all their birthdays are in a few weeks). I get compliments all the time because my guys are nice, polite, and mannerly. They are all very mature for their ages (and they are even males and we all know males are not known for their maturity in the pubescent years). They are also self assured, have a great self esteem, and are very well-rounded. They understand rules, schedules, boundaries, and getting up for work. They probably have a better understanding of the world around them than most because things have been explained to them.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
6 Posts
mine were attachment parented, if that's a similar thing. child led in all areas; co-slept, sling-carried, demand-fed, self-weaned, self-toilet-trained, etc.

I cannot, however, claim to have been entirely gentle. I'm pretty sure I shouted in sleep-deprived frustration on more than one occasion :cheer4:
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
35 Posts
mine were attachment parented, if that's a similar thing. child led in all areas; co-slept, sling-carried, demand-fed, self-weaned, self-toilet-trained, etc.

I cannot, however, claim to have been entirely gentle. I'm pretty sure I shouted in sleep-deprived frustration on more than one occasion :cheer4:
Just like I would have said it myself.
 
1 - 18 of 18 Posts
Top