NO, NO, NO - you are NOT to spend any money on soap or tea!! Or a basket!! ALL MONEY IS TO GO TO THE BRIDE!!! How many times do we have to tell you people - NO GIFTS!! Just cash and gift cards!!!
Just kidding - I would decline this (money grab) invite unless it was a REALLY close relative or friend and you couldn't get out of it.
Good grief, can't people do ANYTHING anymore without holding up their friends and family for donations?
I can see the next one - new baby on the way, please, gift cards only.
I don't understand when people get so up in arms about gift requests, registries, and so on. It's fairly obvious that people are going to get the couple gifts. If you get them something they don't want, they will either return it or regift it, or throw it away. Therefore, these couples are making a request that if you do get them a gift, please get them something they will actually use. Some people think this is fishing for gifts, supposedly the whole reason behind the shower in the first place.
My wife had showers for the wedding and the baby, and we didn't care if we got gifts at all. However, we knew that people typically bring gifts to these things, so we made it relatively clear the things we needed. We had more or less everything we needed for the baby, so we asked for consumables. The people that brought things we already had, they were returned. If people would have just shown up and ate our food, that would have been great, too.
My in-laws got married, and had a pretty cool registry where we got to "buy" them experiences on their honeymoon. They had lived together for some time, didn't need anything, and simply asked their guests to do this instead of getting them gifts. We would have gotten them something, and this pointed us in a direction that was best for the people receiving the gifts.
If you want to bring a gift, and the hosts have asked for something specific, you should honor their request. If you don't want to bring a gift, then don't. Some people have showers to gain items. From what I've experienced, most don't, and simply want to spend the time with their friends and family. Not to mention, most showers are put on by someone other than the couple.
You should probably look inside and try to figure out why you hold so much animosity towards people making these simple requests. Are you giving gifts for the couples to receive, in which case you should cater to their desires, or are you giving gifts for yourself?