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HELP WANTED

POSITION :
Mother, Mom, Mama, Mommy, Ma

JOB DESCRIPTION:
Long term, team players needed, for challenging permanent work in an often chaotic environment. Candidates must possess excellent communication and organizational skills! And be willing to work variable hours, which will include evenings and weekends and frequent 24 hour shifts on call. Some overnight travel required, including trips to primitive camping sites on rainy weekends and endless sports tournaments in far away cities. Travel expenses not reimbursed. Extensive courier duties also required.

RESPONSIBILITIES:
The rest of your life. Must be willing to be hated, at least temporarily, until someone needs $5. Must be willing to bite tongue repeatedly. Also, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule and be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat in case, this time, the screams from the backyard are not someone just crying wolf. Must be willing to face stimulating technical challenges, such as small gadget repair, mysteriously sluggish toilets and stuck zippers. Must screen phone calls, maintain calendars and coordinate production of multiple homework projects. Must have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks. Must be willing to be indispensable one minute, an embarrassment the
Next. Must handle assembly and product safety testing of a half million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices. Must always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst. Must assume final, complete accountability for the quality of the end product. Responsibilities also include floor maintenance and janitorial work throughout the facility.

POSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
Virtually none. Your job is to remain in the same position for years, without complaining, constantly retraining and updating your skills, so that those in your charge can ultimately surpass you

PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
None required unfortunately. On-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.

WAGES AND COMPENSATION:
Get this! You pay them! Offering frequent raises and bonuses. A balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because of the assumption that college will help them become financially independent. When you die, you give them whatever is left. The oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that you actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.

BENEFITS:
While no health or dental insurance, no pension, no tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and no stock options are offered; this job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth and free hugs for life if you play your cards right.

Forward this on to all the Moms you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis, and let them know

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SOMEONE said...



Somebody said it takes about six weeks to get back to normal after you've had a baby

Somebody doesn't know that once you're a mother, "Normal," is history.


Somebody said you learn how to be a mother by instinct


Somebody never took a three-year-old shopping.



Somebody said being a mother is boring ......

Somebody never rode in a car driven by a teenager with a driver's permit.


Somebody said if you're a "good" mother, your child will "turn out good."
Somebody thinks a child comes with directions and a guarantee.



Somebody said "good" mothers never raise their voices .
Somebody never came out the back door just in time to see her child hit a golf ball through the neighbor's kitchen window.



Somebody said you don't need an education to be a mother.
Somebody never helped a fourth grader with her math.



Somebody said you can't love the fifth child as much as you love the first.

Somebody doesn't have five children.



Somebody said a mother can find all the answers to her child-rearing questions in the books ........
Somebody never had a child stuff beans up his nose or in his ears.



Somebody said the hardest part of being a mother is labor and delivery


Somebody never watched her "baby" get on the bus for the first day of kindergarten.


or on a plane headed for military "boot camp."



Somebody said a mother can do her job with her eyes closed and one hand tied behind her back .......
somebody never organized four giggling Brownies to sell cookies.



Somebody said a mother can stop worrying after her child gets married .. Somebody doesn't know that marriage adds a new son or daughter-in-law to a mother's heartstrings.



Somebody said a mother's job is done when her last child leaves home ....

Somebody never had grandchildren.

Somebody said your mother knows you love her, so you don't need to tell her Somebody isn't a mother.

Happy Mother's Day!

Fern
 

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Thanks Happy Mothers day as well

Kellie
 

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I love this!

Happy Mother's Day to everyone.
 

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Happy Mothers Day to all the moms and future moms! May your day be filled with happiness surrouned by those you love and whom love you!!! Thank you for all you do, have done and will do to make our futures much brighter with the love, help, understanding and compassion you show your dear children whether, babies, school age, grandma's, fuure moms, fluffy-feather moms. Without moms, the future would not be bright! Moms are what makes the lights shine and sparkle bright!

Happy Mothers Day!!!!!

Someday we will all look back and will see a job well done!
 

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Thank you. Happy Mothers Day to everyone.
 

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I like those..Thank You and happy mothers day to all
 

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Thank yoU!!!
 
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