[Lady_V]

Okay, for 4 years I fought and caved in. I wanted to home-school, the ex (and his family) are against it.

It's long... but, I have to get it out before I explode!

Kindergarten---
Me: - I am going to home-school
Them: It's only half a day, send her to public, she needs to socialize with other kids since she is an only, it will do her good.

First Grade (the FIRST time)---
Me: I don't think she got very much out of public school, she was sick a lot of the year, I am going to home-school.
Them: She needs an IEP, she needs the services the school can give her, it will do her good.

First Grade (the SECOND time)---
Me: She didn't get promoted, since she has to repeat the grade, I want to be be able to catch her up and get her ready so she can get in to third grade next year. I am going to home-school.
Them: She needs a private school that has smaller classes, she still needs her IEP, send her to private school, it will do her good.

Second Grade---
Me: I still want to home-school.
Them: She is doing wonderful in the new school, keep her there, it is going her good.

Third Grade---
Me: I know she is doing good, but I still wish I can home-school.
Them: Stop being selfish, she's doing wonderful.

TEACHER: She is having difficulty with concepts that have been taught in the precious grades. This presents her with a problem as she approaches new material.


... and that's where we are right now.

I called the ex, to talk to him about what we should do. His response was "I was never any good at school, it's no big deal". When I told him that this obviously isn't working because she can't be expected to understand value placement, multiply, divide, etc... if she cant ADD or SUBTRACT and simple math concepts escape her!!!

He said his parents won't like it if I pull her out of school and I reminded him WE are her parents, not them and it matters what WE want to do. He is their 43 year old puppet. I want better for her than a 'floating through' education. I told him I needed his support on this, I will do EVERYTHING, I just need him to say OK... he started in on what his parents will say. I told him he needs to get a backbone because his daughter needs him. He hung up. So, the call didn't go as well as I had hoped. *sigh*

I called my Mom. I expected her to tell me that I am a moron and making yet another bad choice (I have yet to make ONE right one in her eyes) and I was floored... she told me "You do what you have to do to do right by your child, pull her out".

I called the school, since today was parent/teacher meeting and DD was home sick today, I was unable to make it in. Still waiting for a call back. I am going to talk to the SpEd teacher and the classroom teacher and unless they can tell me how we can keep her there and give her the help she needs... I am pulling her out. Why am I giving them the chance? Because I know it can't be done at that school... they have LIMITED SpEd because it's one teacher for the whole school and there is NO way they can do what DD needs there. It's more to finally end the battle with the ex and his family.

Her reading is late 2nd grade, her math is MAYBE first grade... yet she is getting a C+ in math and a D- in English... and bringing 60's home on an almost daily basis now.

I had a long snuggle talk with DD last night. She doesn't understand the teacher. She sometimes asks questions, but won't ask a second one if she still doesn't understand because the kids torment her. She wants to learn. She wants to stay in school because she is afraid she won't have friends if she is homeschooled.

I will have to have another snuggle-time talk with her and re-assure her that she will have friends. Real friends who will accept her the way she is, and not make fun of her because she has to learn differently.

I took her to Plimoth Plantation for 2 days... she learned more in those 2 days than the entire theme in the classroom. She could see, touch, taste, feel everything... and she could ASK QUESTIONS and get answers and not be told to stop asking so many because other people have them too...

So --------- here I sit. with about 3 weeks to gather my thoughts, lessons, get the home in order, and file whatever the heck it is I have to do to be able to teach her at home.

I know she wants to learn about fish. Fish I can do, we have the Aquarium in Boston. There are books on fish for reading, and why does Mary have to have 3 apples, let them be goldfish!

WHERE TO I START?????????

 

[Nishu]

First of all, I'm sorry you guys have been let down by the system. The situation is a bummer.

Secondly, I think you're doing the right thing. This obviously wasn't a spur of the moment decision for you guys.

Thirdly, if it's possible that you're just trying to do right by the school by asking them to work out a plan for helping her, then just save yourself the trouble and pull her out. Don't waste another day. Some people will think you're crazy, but as a home schooler that's something you'll learn to live with. :laugh:

Good luck. I hope everything works out for your little one.

 

[joyofsix]

Ok, just some random thoughts.
BREATHE
Talk to your lawyer and see if you even NEED ex's approval. Yes it would be nice but the custodial parent can usually make these choices.

I pulled my ds out of school and he is blossoming. You can do this. To tell you the truth, sometimes I'm shocked how easy it is. Not always of course, but overall.

Kids learn in different ways, you just have to discover that way. Who would know your dd better than yourself? Who cares more about her education? That qualifies you in my book.

MaryCarney hs's her kids and will probably have tons more good advice.

 

[monkeywrangler71]

You start with a deep breath and a great big hug. Here it is:
(((((((((((((you)))))))))))))))

 

[Lora88]

You know your child better than anyone It would be nice to have the exs support in this but you dont have to have it. I have 4 kids all learned differently some kids do not fit in the cookie cutter mold of school. Do what you have to do and what you feel is right. After all if home schooling doesnt work out the public school system or private school will still be there Good luck

 

[YankeeMom]

She sometimes asks questions, but won't ask a second one if she still doesn't understand because the kids torment her.

This was the way it was for ds-8 after first grade. (I pulled him out starting in 2nd). He had questions but didn't ask them because the other kids teased if someone had questions. Yeah, there's the socialization "they" talk about when "they" say homeschooled kids aren't socialized

You have some great advice here already. I wouldn't let the grandparents influence you in the slightest. Look how wrong they've been so far.

Also, when/if you get into it...look into lapbooking. It's like scrapbooking with what you learn. It's really cool. There's even one on FISH!

 

[monkeywrangler71]

We just started with Miquon math, it's all very hands on, she might do well with it. It's one teachers book and six workbooks, it's meant for grade 1-3, but if she didn't understand grade 1&2 you'll need to go back there anyway. The books do not have a grade level written on them, so she wouldn't feel like she's moving backwards. Everything is done with cuisenaire rods (wooden sticks ranging in size from 1-10cm) and you can demonstrate nearly any concept with them. If you want to go back to the beginning with math and teach her in a way that is concrete and easy to understand, you should look into it.

 

[MaryCarney]

Lady V,
You must be feeling so many things right now, and your head is probably spinning! Welcome to the wonderful world of homeschooling
FIRST - go to the website of the Home School Legal Defense Association (hslda.org) and you will find a section on regulations for your state. I HIGHLY recommend that you join - esp. with your family situation. AFTER you've joined, they can tell you all manner of legal stuff regarding your specific situation. (It's around $100 per year)
NEXT - (also on hslda.org) find contact information for the state HS organization in your state. Contact them, and they can put you in touch with a support group in your local area. (This should give you a 'what aboout socialization' answer )
THIRD - (also hslda.org) look through the 'special needs' section - great resources for YOU to put together an IEP for your daughter.
Then you can start looking at curriculum. A really great, all-inclusive discount vendor is www.rainbowresource.com. You probably need only to purchase math right now. Reading - library
History - library Science- library Writing - have her dictate to you summaries of what you guys are reading, go from there. Bible - open and read!!

I'm sure your local group is similar to ours, some newbies, some HS for a couple of years and some 'seasoned' HS veterans. All of those types have something to offer. Join and participate.

Feel FREE to PM me, always happy to help someone begin their adventure!! Good luck - you won't be sorry!

 

[2ndGenGranola]

Start with HSLDA. They will be great if you get any problems with the xILs. They also have some great special needs persons available.

We just switched to Singapore Math. The kids are loving it.

 

[Daisygirl]

Your daughter is so lucky V! I think the two of you are starting a great adventure!

Congratulations on a wonderful decision!

 

[Missy]

The HSLDA is a great place to start. Having a membership there has saved a few people I know a lot of legal problems and heartache.

Next, I am suggesting that you look into virtual schools. http://www.k12.com/enroll-or-buy/find-a-school-and-enroll/ or Branson online would be one place to start, but a lot of districts now have public school at home options. I am suggesting that in case you find you need the x's permision to homeschool, this is a loophole so to speak, public school umbrella...at home. She can learn at her pace, with you, at home, and it's still public, lol.

If there's no problems with having to get the x's ok on this lapbooking education is great, also look into unschooling. Also don't be afraid to take a little from here, a little from there and build your own curriculum.

 

[bears3]

Check with you states education dept. Most states have a program that you can follow to get your child a GED from the state. I use the program that our private christian school uses. They order the books and charge me for them. They have to be credit from the state. Then I add stuff to the basic program. Like field trips. We do alot of these. More bible verses, spelling, etc. I test my kids and send them to the state education dept for credit. That way they can get a state GED when they are 18 yrs old.