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Discussion Starter #1
When the rest of your family thinks you are nuts for it?
I would love nothing better than to stay home and care for my kids and home full time. My mother and sister think I am nuts and my fiance is not so sure we can do it. How do I convince them otherwise?
 

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First of all, try to not be governed by what your extended family thinks. I know that's a tough one, but live to your own values and standards and then be confident that you're doing the right thing for you and children.

I'd test out living on one income before you actually do it. Bank all your pay and budget on what you get from your partner's income. If you can do it for a month or so without getting into too much trouble, you're ready to give up work.
 

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I think you need to ignore what your mother and sister have to say. It's your life to do what you wish.

I'd try living on one income for 6 months and see if it is feasible. If it isn't then I'd worked at making it feasible by learning new ways to live on one income.

Good luck. Its often hard when extended family interfere.
 

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You don't need to convince them of anything. You are an adult and can make your own choices. You need to do whats best for you and your family.
 

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I battle the same thing, only in reverse. I have been trying to find a job, and my parents think that I should be a sahm. Here's what I say "I appreciate your concern, but really it is my choice, and it's the best choice for me and my family right now." BUT, you don't even have to say a word to them. It's noone's business but yours. Good luck.
 

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I say do what feels right to you, no matter what you won't be able to change their minds but if you can do it and that is what you want then do it whether or not they think you are crazy!!

Eileen
p.s. I am a sahm and I think you need to be a little crazy to be a stay at home mom but it is a fun kind of crazy :!)
 

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I agree with Rhonda and C.J. However, it's easy for us to tell you not to worry about your extended family...they can be a huge influence and very persuasive. So, I'd see what I could workout with my fiance. Look at his income and see if you could really just live on it. Also, if your not married, adding the extra stress of living on less may not be the way to start out a marriage. I'd take the next 6 months, bank your money and live on his. If that works, then the numbers will speak for themselves.
 

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Discussion Starter #8
I just ended my job at the zoo so i am getting practice. I do get a pretty good childsupport for my kids, 940 or so per month, so as long as I get that we will be fine. As far as my family goes, almost my entire family lives within a five mile radius. It's hard to ignore them lol but you all are right. It is between me and my fiance how we live our lives and I need to be assertive and keep in mind that it is my right.
 

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Yes~It is hard to not listen to your family~as when I did it years ago~everytime my Mom did something and I didn't have the money to go she would say"See~"If you were working,you could have did that"...LOL But~after awhile of seeing that we did ok,she did support my decision...

I stay home now and put stuff on EBay for the little extras for us~like going out to eat for a treat!!
 

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Perhaps you could try part-time work. That is what I do. I work 12-15 hours a week. It sure helps out, and takes some of the pressure off DH.
 

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Discussion Starter #11
If I do work I would like to make it part time. I would also like to work as an independent paralegal selling my services to attorneys instead of in one office. That way I can set my own hours. I guess whatever God wants me to do will be done.
 

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I think the crucial person to deal with is your fiance. Implement money saving ideas at home, not necessarily as money saving ideas, but as environmentally conscious (recycling, reusing, etc.). He doesn't even have to hear the word frugal. You can just do it.

After I'd done this for awhile, I took the extra money saved and put it into frugal activities/capital purchases that would help us save more money...like compact flourescent lights, building a cold room, etc. Once those were in place dh was beginning to see real inroads into the budget. Our grocery bill dropped from $600/mth. to $300/mth. He was convinced! It's now at $250/mth and dropping.

For dh, the proof was in seeing the results. I recently pointed out to him if I went back to work we could see an increase in expenditures due to my not having time or energy to carry out frugal practices. The reality is, for us it's cheaper to have me stay home than work. If I went back to work I'd only be earning minimum wage. Frankly, my time is worth more than that.

Every time I get on-line I try to come away with at least one money saving tip. Currently I picked up the idea of adding different pages to a home organization binder. I have one started already but hardly use it. Today I found a list of ideas of what to add. I am searching archives and boards for further clarification. I've spent about an hour, maybe two, on-line doing this. I now have a much more useful organization binder than I had this morning. I figure my time at $10/hr. That's a $20 investment in my time. Will it pay me back? I think so. I have added a personalized grocery price list, gift lists (which will save me tons of money in and of itself!), contents of my gift closet, and a working budget. I will also look at sorting through my fabric stash and adding a list of contents with samples to the binder. That should be a tremendous help with my sewing projects.

Putting time into projects like this are crucial for efficient and cost effective home management. I never knew how to do this when I was working. I had noone to teach or tell me about a home organization binder. I did not have the time to pull one together. It wasn't until I was home full time that I was able to make home full time work, iykwim.

So emphasize doing things and, when the time is right, point out how far you've come with your fiance. He's the one who matters most. Once he's on board, he can go to bat for you with the rest of the family.

Hugs,
Jean
 

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alot of people always say to me "i don't know how you do it".....or "there is no way i could be a sahm". well thats my husband & i's decision, not theirs. and what they do is none of my business. its very hard to not let what others think affect you, but i've learned that whats most important is what my husband & i think. its your decision, don't let anyone else make up your mind for you. good luck!!!!
 

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Discussion Starter #14
I had my sister and her family over a couple of weeks ago and she made comments about how silly I am when she noticed me air drying zip lock bags. I still wash the bags lol
 

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Too funny....

About the baggies...I have always had a small "baggie clothesline near my sink... I have taken a lot of good natured ribbing about it from my family, but they also realize that doing these small frugal things were the reasons I was able to be a SAHM-the very best job I have ever had!!! And the added benefit of being environmentally responsible isn't too shabby either.
 

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Discussion Starter #16
I agree!!
 
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