[MomToTwoBoys]

Well, if I were to include DH in this, I guess he can be considered a kid.

Today, I went to go look for my EA Active 2 workout game so that I could get that done. It's not in the XBox, so I look in the case. It's not in the case. I remember leaving the game in the XBox because I was going to work out on Tuesday, but due to being sore, I wanted to wait until today. Instead, there's a different game in there. I look in the case of that game and well, my game's not there.

So I switch to my Pilates workout and do that. I eat lunch and DS7 comes home for lunch. I ask him where he put it and he told me on the couch...

:bang:

So I get angry about it (because that game cost me $100 and was my ticket to getting active again) and I just went off. I don't even remember half of what I said, but I don't think it was good. In the end, I realized that I shouldn't have gotten mad and I apologize to DS7. We give each other hugs and agree to talk about things before they get to that point.

But then there's also the part where DH told DS7 not to bother me about where to put the game. So where did I end up finding it? Upside down on a shelf in the armoire (where I would have never put it). So now I'm upset at DH also.

I've been getting more and more angry at everyone lately in the house and I know it may be hormones, but I need to find a better way to deal with this. I've tried the calm talking route, but I just end up bottling it all up and exploding anyways.

Isn't there a better way?

 

[pollypurebred39]

That sounds like a lack of respect kind of thing to me, which would really start to bug me after awhile. I most likely would calmly sit the family down and let them know that when they don't take care of your belongings it make you feel disrespected. (if it indeed does and that's what's going on) I'd tell them I did not want to make a big deal out of things, but if this behavior continued that I would call them on it, and I would expect an apology. A real one, a begrudging I'm sorry wouldn't cut it for me. I'd point out how I take special care with their things and that I expect the same with mine.

 

[bonnotsm9]

I wouldn't have left a game I valued in the XBox, but wouldn't have been angry with DS7 because he did ask someone where to put it. For a kid that age, that's really impressive that he asked an adult. My kids around that age (6 and 8 yrs) wouldn't even have asked about what to do with a game they found in the player. I'd have found it on the shelf or chair...or the floor.

It might help to let Dh and the kids know where to keep your games if they find them still in the player. Seems like ds would have put it away if he had known where to put it.

 

[MomToTwoBoys]

I wouldn't have left a game I valued in the XBox, but wouldn't have been angry with DS7 because he did ask someone where to put it. For a kid that age, that's really impressive that he asked an adult. My kids around that age (6 and 8 yrs) wouldn't even have asked about what to do with a game they found in the player. I'd have found it on the shelf or chair...or the floor.

It might help to let Dh and the kids know where to keep your games if they find them still in the player. Seems like ds would have put it away if he had known where to put it.

That part came up in the talk afterwards. He said that they keep all of the games in the same place and I then told him that I keep mine in a totally different place because it's not just a game, but it's also resistance bands and a heart rate monitor. I usually keep the game in the XBox because most of their games are for the Wii. I also then told him that if he had questions about what to do with something that wasn't his, to ask either myself or his father. But then DH told him not to bother me about it, which made it worse.

At the end, I told him just to leave something alone if it wasn't his. He should use that with everything, even if we aren't at home, and he said he understood about that.

 

[Nishu]

I used to have serious anger issues with my kids. I would yell all the time. It was horrible. I would go off over the dumbest things.

I had to institute a no yelling policy in my house. No yelling from me, not ever. Yelling occasionally might be okay for people who don't go off the deep end, just like drinking might be okay for people who don't have drinking problems. It's not okay for those of us who have issues controlling our temper.

Also, previous poster was right about not leaving your game in the xbox, and she was right about the fact that your son tried to find out where to leave the game. If your husband has a place to keep the games and you like to keep your game someplace different because of all the junk that comes with it, you really should just put it away yourself. When you think about it, if the xbox is public property then you don't have much of a right to tell your family to not to touch your game just because you didn't put it back where it's supposed to go.

And why was your husband telling your son not to bother you? It sounds like he was trying to be nice.

 

[Hamada]

As someone who has had many years of feeling like I am a raging volcano at a certain time of the month I definately feel for you.

Since I live alone I can really let off steam without worrying about anyone else feeling the reprocussions. You know when a four letter word comes out really loud. The two other things that seem to help 1) taking a fast daily walk and 2) figuring out the easiest way for me to handle situations.

Is there anyway you can have a basket for each person in the family? That way if something is misplaced (or doesn't know where it goes) everyone knows where to put it and find it.

You did do the right thing by apologizing to your son. Apologizing is not the easiest thing and your son is learning a valuable skill. No one is perfect.

 

[mom2three]

I made a choice to reflect and respond, not to react,but I'm still working on it. Usually I try to think about the situation from the kids perspective including motive.

 

[madhen]

I don't have kids, but I do have dogs, and have learned a little about anger management through them.

Seriously, I would agree that if the game has that much value to you (and I agree it should), had you removed the game yourself and put it somewhere that YOU knew about, you would have avoided the whole issue. Because it has value to you doesn't mean it has value to them. And while it would be nice to have family members who are constantly considerate and appreciative of your feelings, most people are kind of into their own thing and don't realize that what they are doing might conflict with another family member's desires. I am sure that you have inadvertantly done things that your DH and DS don't agree with or feel was uncaring toward their needs, with no intent on your part to make them feel that way.

And realistically, guys just don't get it sometimes. They can be a little thick-skinned. Doesn't mean they love you any less, just that they are a little slow.

It sounds like you did the right thing by taking a deep breath and really assessing whether your son's or husband's actions were INTENDED to devalue your feelings, or whether they were just caught up in their own needs at the time and didn't really think things through.

 

[zakity]

Our policy is that if you take a disc out of the player and you don't know what to do with it, you put it in the case from the one you are playing. When you are finished, you put the one you are playing back in it's home and the other one goes back in the player. The disc you are looking for can only be in the player or in a case. If it isn't in the case it belongs, it is in the case of the disc that is in the player.

 

[MomToTwoBoys]

I've repeatedly told DS7 to put the game back into the case that it came in. DH and I and DS7 all had a discussion about it at dinner and I've told the both of them that for now on, the EA Active 2 stays in the large pull-out drawer in the credenza because not only is that in there, but my weights and pilates mat and other items used for working out are also in there.

The rule to put the games back in the case was instituted when we bought the Wii. It's a rule with the XBox 360 also.

I've worked really hard over the years to stop yelling so much and to start thinking about things before I say them. I've just had such a draining week that I think the hormones and exhaustion and weather combined for one heck of a tongue lashing. This has been something I have always struggled with because it's what I grew up with. I've tried taking a breath, walking away, etc but I still can't find a way to combat the anger.