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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
I recently had my first experience with one, when I was by myself, in line already no less. So i couldn't just ask carl to take her outside.

I just kept whispering to her that it'd be okay, she could have the strawberry's when we got home, and sort of soothed her hand with my fingers...even the cashier was trying to get her distracted :D She did calm down by the time I had paid for everything :)

Afterwards i wondered if i should have given in and let her have a strawberry? I just don't know about all this parenting stuff ;)

Now my dh, UGH! another story! he has a temper, and last time she had a tantrum in the store with him, he was getting PISSED and practically yelling at her :( I noticed other people were gasping at how he was treating her, and me i was running up ahead trying to get done with the shopping to get out of there. And i knew from experience not to mess with him or he'd just explode and yell at me there in the store :(

Anyways, sorry for the ramble..
How do you guys handle grocery store tantrums?
 

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i saw this on dr. phil..his wife had the same problem with their son and she left the store and made him stay in bed for 7hrs. the good thing is he never did it again and the son was fairly young..
 

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When they were small, eventually they all had a tantrum at least once...I think the best thing is to stay calm. (I know it can be hard) and make it quick or just leave home.

I also tried not to go to stores when they were tired or too near meal times, so they wouldn't be hungry. And I tried not to shop too long, because it can get long for a little one sitting in his stroller for a couple of hours, doing nothing.

Good luck Heather, and follow your instinct. Trust your gut feeling. :)
 

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Oh the Dr.Phill show was awesome today!I 've always just picked them up and went home and stay home,cause usualy when they are good we go somewhere after the store.I also leave when they are throwing tantrums in a restraunt.Like last night we ate Mexican and bubba started throwing a fit.I told Jason to get to go boxes for mine and Cannons and Cannon and I went and sat in the car until Jason and Lauren were done.it's a toughy when you are actually checking out,plus ayla is fairly young if I'm correct.But I have seen parents(sil)just let their kids get away with anything and walk all over them and run the house(my nephew)and they are totaly out of control.But she could've been tired or hungryso give yourself some credit and do what you feel like you need to do.And be prepared that this won't be the last,so maybe you can kind of prepare yourself for next time!
 

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Discussion Starter · #5 ·
Yeah, even though she had just had a good ol time at the park right before, as well as some lunch,I'll bet she was still hungry. And seeing those strawberrys must have reminded her :D
 

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ALL my kids have done this :( One of them often!

I definately wouldn't give in to the tantrum it re-inforces straight away that it works! and sets you up for MANY more.

My brother also used to do this often and a tip I got from my mum (and used) was to walk away from them and leave them on the floor screaming to themselves!

The bad bit is - This worked with 4 out of 5 of mine. The other one stayed on the floor screaming even though she thought I'd left the shop!!!! :eek: Then I HAD to go back and start again - which made me look stupid and she KNEW that next time she did it I wouldn't 'actually' leave her - so SHE was the one that did it again and again and again and ................. LOL - I don't have a good answer for children like her - Sorry.

You could always take comfort in the knowledge EVERYBODYS kids do this and when it's someone elses child you can look at them like it's NEVER happened to you ;) Of course that would be cruel - gosh I'm going now I have my naughty head on (maybe thoughts of tantrums LOL)

Oh (sorry) before I DO shut up......... My first husband did this once: (I couldn't I would die of embarrasment but it WAS very effective) My eldest had a tantrum in a shop and DH started to copy him!!!!! :D He was so shocked he shut up! (We ALL did LOL)
 

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the thing is if you give in then next time it will happen again and again...you need to stand firm and make no mean no..SOunds tough and mean but that is the only way to make it work...

If you were to give in that makes the child think "all I have to do it that to get what I want".

Eileen

p.s. I saw Dr Phil too and just love him he is so right, of course I think come here and deal with my triplets you have no idea what this is like :~) but I do agreee with him...
 

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I used to put the mean mommy face on and ask my daughter,"Is this the face of a mommy who listens to tantrums?" She thought about it for a minute, and then she said,"No", and that was the end of it. This only works for the beginning of a whiney tantrum, for full blown ones, we left everything and went home. And stayed home.
 

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My youngest DD threw one in the middle of Rural King,we wouldn't buy her that $200 dollhouse. I walked away,went around the corner and watched till she stopped-then went back and asked her if it worked out well for her..she said no adn never happened again. We have also "showed" them how to do it right-nothing funnier than a 6"4" 200 lb man throwing a tantrum,but daddy does them good:D
 

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Sounds like you did the right thing, Heather, by staying calm and not giving her the strawberry. WTG! No one knows kids better than their mothers, and mothering comes from the heart.
 

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Eileen? You have triplets! Wow! You must have lots of energy and courage!:)
 

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That's always a tough situation. Before we had dd in Dec- DS would sit in the seat of the cart, and if he asked nicely for a box of animal crackers- I'd open one and let him have it and send the empty box down the belt to the cashier. Hey, if all it takes is 50 cents worth of crackers for my sanity at the store, I'm all for it.

But now things are alot more tricky. Now I have the baby in the cart and ds walks- if he wants something, he doesn't ask nicely for things, he just grabs stuff off the shelves he wants and sticks it in the cart, throws tantrums when I tell him no and put it back on the shelf. He destroys displays because I won't let him have everything that has Spongebob on the box. I just ignore him and keep walking- I'll leave the 10 boxes of whatever he threw on the floor right there. I have to ignore it, or else I'll lose it and put my foot right up his butt, then I'd be in jail. When we get to the checkout line, I don't let him get any candy, little bag of chips- nothing. But if he does behave in the store (which really is most of the time), I will let him get something at the checkout line. That way I'm rewarding his good behavior. His tantrums are really few and far between, but when he has one, it really does put us in a tough spot because it seems like no one can discipline their kid in public without some nosy busybody calling the cops. My mom told me I only threw a tantrum once, she had let me have it (spanking, foot in the butt, what have you) and that put an end to it.

But at any rate- if you told Ayla she had to wait until she got to the car, home or where ever, you have to stand by what you tell her. I think it's OK to give them a little something so they won't have a tantrum (like the box of animal crackers my ds would ask for), and I think it's OK to get them a little something at the checkout line for behaving in the store. But to give them a treat in order to stop a tantrum is the worst mistake you could make. Then they know they can manipulate you by throwing a tantrum to get what they want. So I think you did great!!! And It really does help when a stranger tries to distract them like the cashier or another shopper telling them they're a horrible singer :D

Laura
 

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Good Job not giving in. So many parents give in out of embarrassment, like people think they are abusing their kids or their kids are bothering people. Most of us know, they are over stimulated or trying to see how far they can push.
My kids and I have a code, when they start in I say, "Do we need to visit the rest room?" They know they are in for one of two things depending on how far they push, a time out or a swat on the bottom. The code lets them know when I have had enough.

Once we watched a girl about 10 or 11 throwing an absolute fit in Pizza Hut. My dd said to me, "I think she needs to visit the rest room mom."
 

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Milach, I have two kids very close in age. I put them in separate carts--it cut down on the gimmeeeeeesss (whine, snivel). I looked like I had a train with pushing one cart and pulling another!

Heather, I agree with everyone else. You are doing a great job!
 

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Thanks for the tip Lori! I love the carts that are like pick up trucks (they really do work wonders) but usually, thery're either all taken, or the store I'm at doesn't have them. Using a second cart as "my jail cell" is a great idea- didn't even think of it!! Thanks!!

Laura
 

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Heather we all have those trips! Stick to your guns. NO means NO. I usually try to stay calm and talk sort of softly and say I am sorry but you cannot have ____ right now. and repeat it and repeat. I usually get close enough that I can wisper and they have to quiet down to hear me. Then I go for a distaraction! "can you hold mommys keys for me, etc" It does help when you have people who have "been ther done that" and are not giving you that look!

For the all out full blown fall on the floor fits, I just told ds to "let me know when you are done" walked to the end of the asile and turned the corner. I could see him but he couldn't see me. When he realized I wasn't paying attention he stopped. Then he started to look for me and I came out of hiding. I asked him if he was ready to go on. We finished the shopping and I never had one of those kind again. I will have to let you know if this works for dd who is more headstrong than her brother was! {hugs}
 

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LOL!! Oh, boy. At least it was at the check out and not the whole trip. I used to just pick up my dd and leave. I wouldn't talk, look at her, nothing. She hated that. When my dd was a little older (2 1/2 - 3 ) I was fortunate enough to have a grocery store with a customer service rep who was very accomodating. We told my daughter that "THE MAN" was always watching her (showed her the mirrors and the cameras) and if she didn't behave herself, there was a room in the back where he put naughty little girls so their mommies could finish the shopping in peace. But little girls who were good got a sticker from the cashier. "THE MAN" was in every store, by the way, for a couple of years. One warning was all it took.
 
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