I have a neighbor here in the apartments that seems to want me to be her grocery provider...
The other night she borrowed a can of peas...then she wanted me to give her half of my 250 ct of motrin...and now she's wanting to start using my phone.
How much is enough and how do you tell this sort of person that you are not here to provide for them?
When her child was last over here AJ's gameboy went missing... I told the boy tonight that AJ is grounded until his gameboy is found.. we have torn our place apart 4 times over now..I have gone through boxes that haven't been touched since we moved here....and nothing....
I am just so irritated... I really don't want either of them in my house...and I just don't know how to come out and say it without causing bad feelings...
She wanted me tonight to get off my long distance call so she could use my phone..how rude is that?
If you don't stop it now it will only get worse. Start being busy or getting ready to leave when she comes by. Tell her you will have to charge her to use the phone as she would have to pay if she went to a payphone. I wouldn't be too worried about making her mad since she is trying to use you.
One more that agrees with Angie... What I have found is that people who have no manners usually don't have the common sense to be offended either. Be direct it will be the only thing she understands. Good luck - keep us posted. :hugz:
ACK--this woman has all the manners of a charging rhino! Use the human version of a stun gun--the word NO--and get her out of your hair before she moves in and borrows everything (your car, charge cards, DH, etc.)
How much is too much?
When you start thinking it is. :thumb:
She doesn't seem to care about your feelings Phae, don't worry about hers. Bet when the free stuff stops she'll be looking for the next nice person who will "help her out".
"Sorry, I can't help you with that." and smile.
After saying that a few times she'll get it or she won't. Then you say no without a sorry or a smile.
I know just how you feel. Hopefully you remember my "renters". We've also been giving them groceries now and then. Well, we invited them over for burgers one night since it was still a couple of days to payday and they were out of food. Sam had the nerve to ask for some dog food too! Dh freaked on him and they both ended up leaving before supper.
It's one thing to say "Can I have a Motrin" It's a totally different thing to say "Can I have half the bottle" That is where I would have drawn the line. Good Luck,---Kellie
I'm just adding my vote to cut her off now... before she moves in with you!
Would it help any to start giving her brochures... ie: local food pantries, cheap phone plans, etc? Either she will be offended and stop bothering you, or possibly she'll go out and sign-up for some real assistance if she truly needs it. Either way, you've given her an option other than raiding your pantry.
DH suggests that I should be conveniently unavailable...
For the sugar they asked to borrow the other night I told them sorry...that's the one item dh didn't buy today..we're trying to cut back on our use of it and the last cup just went into some lemonade....
hehe.. I just wish she had the balls to do her own asking instead of sending her son.
What I have found is that people who have no manners usually don't have the common sense to be offended either. Be direct it will be the only thing she understands. :hugz:
That is sad that she uses her son to ask you for stuff. I guess she thinks it is harder to say "no" to a child. I am stunned by the nerve of some people.
Did the gameboy turn back up? If not, I think you should ask her if she found it at her house, you could say "I thought it might have "accidently" gotten taken home by you son by MISTAKE" (I bet ) If she gets mad, then that is good because she will not be mooching off of you anymore and if not she will know that you know her son took AJ's gameboy. I think I would just tell her after that when she came over that you are not feeling well and can't have anyone inside. If her son comes over just tell him AJ can't play, you don't really owe him any explanations (or her for that matter).
I have been right where you are at girl. Nip it in the bud now. Some people will just use you up! I know you don't want to cause problems with your neighbor but just start being mean and cold and saying NO! I know its tough and easier said than done.:hug2:
I think what you said about the sugar is great (even if say, you just bought 50 lbs of it at Sam's- whoops, sorry, I just used the last cup I had). I bet if you used that same excuse a couple more times (if she asks for more Motrin, coffee whatever) you'll lose her real fast.
If she asks to make a long distance call on your phone, tell her something like you dropped your long distance service provider and can no longer make long distance calls without a calling card (and of course, you don't have one of those either).
I'm with you, I hate to come out and tell someone no, but I have gotten good at beating around the bush. Actually, the one time I told someone no- I had just moved into my first apartment and the guy downstairs comes up and asked if I had any rolling papers. Of course, I said no since I had zero clue as to what he was talking about. Then a couple days later, it occurred to me as to what he was looking for (paper to roll joints) :bang: Some people just have no shame!
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